I was recently watching an anal sex tutorial on Instagram given by a sex toy company I follow. There was some great misinformation given that I took great offense to hearing.
He said that it is a myth that the anus and vagina get stretched out, for they have muscle memory. Therefore, stretched out holes like the gaping holes you see in some anal sex scenes in porn will fall back into place.
First of all, keep in mind that you are just watching a porn scene. Your penis is not the one actually feeling that hole's firmness or looseness. That is why they are porn "actors". They have to make viewers believe that every mouth, penis, vagina, and butthole you see them play with is the best they have ever encountered, even when it's far from it. With that said, realize that a gaping hole in a porn scene does not always return to being a tight hole. Sometimes the reason it is gaping is because it has been put through enough to be easily made gaping by the slightest entry of any sized penis and/or sex toy. For not every porn actor does kegels and various other exercises to maintain the butthole's tightness, like I have admitted to for years.
This is a point that was not immediately made during the tutorial. And trust me, I waited for it. Way longer than I should have. Not saying that point immediately further enabled viewers to see porn actors as the sex superheroes we should not be holding them up to be. And as a former porn actor myself, that says a lot.
My being offended by this misinformation was heightened by the fact that the person teaching the tutorial... was my former manager. The person who trained me in my working the salesfloor at the sex shop I work at.
All that I write is based on biological facts about the sexual anatomy and psychological facts about the sexual mind that cannot be easily refuted. Even if people think that what I say is just my opinion, proving that it is just my opinion is quite hard to do. Hence why I have yet to be confronted with such an argument.
However, what my former manager said can be easily refuted.
Such as how the anus has muscle memory, so it can get used to being penetrated, then fall back into place. Yes, it can get used to being penetrated. The part that is misinformation in that tutorial is how after penetration, everything falling back into place is not always the case. For while the anus is a muscle, muscle memory for being penetrated has to be trained, gained, and maintained. Therefore, if such steps are not taken, it can be pushed to the point of losing its firmness. Especially when someone tries to imitate the unsafe practices of porn. I say "unsafe" because porn actors don't always train their bodies well. For of the many lose holes I have put my penis into, some of them have been those of porn actors.
In that tutorial, the trait of the anus having muscle memory was also compared to how the vagina also has muscle memory. Again, also true - initially. However, the vagina as well can be pushed to an extreme where it does not return to its original firmness. Like the anus, fisting; a gangbang with no breaks to do a small bit of firmness exercises; not being relaxed during penetration by a penis and/or sex toy; double penetration; and the forced entry of rape, add to that the birthing of a child can all contribute to a loss of firmness. For all of these are stresses to those orifices that require some level of exercises as after-care to maintain that muscle memory. Hence why all well-regarded sex shops sell kegel balls and kegel exercisers. Even electronic stimulation sex toys for internal play can help. Due to the fact that the electronic stimulation will cause the muscles to contract.
I was so offended by seeing this information not being given that I felt my fingers twitching to type a response to the absence of such vital information for great anal play. However, knowing myself, I realized that my response would have been quite verbally explosive in calling out such misinformation. Hence why I took this route in addressing it instead.
Such misinformation is why I have always said my job has not taught me everything. I knew a great deal about sexual anatomy before working there. Especially in regards to anal sex. From reading and personal experience. And the reason I can easily debunk that instructor's claims is more so from personal experience, but also from common sense within the sex toy industry.
Now, if any of what I said was addressed in that tutorial after I tuned out, then as I stated earlier, it should have been said immediately after stating how the anus and vagina have muscle memory. Otherwise, it will lead to the misinformed actions that I am writing this post to prevent.