Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Sex Toy Review: Gläs 7" Curved Glass Dildo

There are really no special features to the Gläs 7" Curved Glass Dildo. that make it unlike most products of its kind. It is not electronic. The solid glass is compatible with all lubricants. It is accepting of heat and cold for temperature play. However, it should not be exposed to extreme heat or cold for that will cause it to break. No better than any other glass dildos.

So the reason I am writing this review is because after posting about my purchase of this dildo on my Instagram, I quickly received messages from followers reiterating what had kept me from trying out a glass dildo for so long.

Their concerns was over breakage.

The fact is though that this dildo is solid glass. Borosilicate glass to be more exact, which is fracture-resistant. It will not cause a trip to the emergency room like a glass bottle or jar which can break and shatter from the tightness of the anus and rectum. Many more females than males seem to be more aware of this. Hence why glass sex toys tend to be more marketed to females, which leads to the only negative I have in this review about this product--- their unnecessary gender-specific marketing.

For this dildo is called a "Curved Glass G-Spot Dildo". Meanwhile, with me being a cisgendered male, I do not have a g-spot. I instead have a prostate, or p-spot. And while the smoothness made the dildo go in easy, the curve of this glass dildo stimulated my prostate just as effectively as it is marketed to stimulated a female's g-spot. So the only male that would try this product is one with enough knowledge of sexual anatomy to think outside of this product's box when it is presented to him. Therefore, like most gender-specific marketing, this company puts themselves in the position to lose patronage they should be willing to gain.

In any case, for all males concerned about a glass dildo, as long as you are dealing with solid glass, like borosilicate, no one of any gender has reason to fear breakage from a glass dildo.  The only fear would be if you chip it by dropping it or cracking it by putting it under extreme weight. Otherwise. I think males into anal play should start putting more thought into investing in a glass dildo such as this.


Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Sex Toy Review: Thruster Mini

I recently bought the Thruster Mini by Velvet CoCK. I must admit that the accordion like neck made me a bit hesitant. This hesitation was to no fault of Velvet CoCK's designing. It was actually because of a previous purchase I made of an anal sex toy with a similar design.

For that other toy also had an accordion design in the neck, which in me caused a pinching of my rectal walls. An unkind sensation that I said in my review that I submitted to The Pleasure Chest would happen to anyone with a rectum tight enough to engulf the entire shape of anything entered into it. With that said, what made me give the Thruster Mini a try was the fact that unlike that other toy, the thrusting part is not meant to be put inside the body.

The Thruster Mini is made of silicone, so it will not harbor bacteria after cleaning, and can only be used with water-based and silicone-based lubricants. Do not use silicone-based lubes on a silicone toy. For it will destroy the toy, thereby void the warranty. It is also water-resistant, which means it can be taken into the shower, but it cannot be submerged into a tub.

The insertable part of the Thruster Mini's shaft is 5" long. A length which is quite comparable to the length of the highly respected Aneros' prostate massagers. Add to that the ability for the shaft to be bent up to 30º, I became hopeful that the Thruster Mini would do that thrusting towards the prostate. And it did not disappoint.

For in the XTube video below, about 3 minutes into it, I assume the missionary position. What you of course can't see is that due to the angle at which I held the Liberator Bon Bon that the Thruster Mini is in, the Thruster Mini did in fact stimulate my prostate. Hence the quivering orgasm seem by the end of the video. So if it was able to be curved to hit my prostate, there is no doubt it can be curved to hit a female's G-spot.


LeNair Xavier Gets Thrusted powered by XTube

With a present retail value of $149, the Thruster Mini is by no means a cheap sex toy. However, I do recommend it for both males and females. Anyway, it does say "Unisex" on the box. Making this one case where a sex toy company did not lie about the usefulness of their product, and that gets many stars in my book.

Monday, August 5, 2019

Sex Toy Review: Tenga Spinner


I recently bought this new masturbation sleeve from Tenga. It's called the Spinner.

I have long been a fan of Tenga toys. To the extent that over the years, I have had 3 products from their Flip Hole series, both Flexes, and one from their Tenga 3D series. In fact, when it comes to Flip Holes, if you have been following me long enough, then you'll recall that my very 1st Nude Dude Review was of the Tenga Flip Hole Black. So I was very much looking forward to trying this sex toy out.

The Spinners comes in 3 different textures. So I had to first decide which texture I wanted. I often go for what I suspect to be the most intense, so I went for #3 Shell.

I must confess that while buying this product, I was the typical male and didn't read any of the details about it on the website. If I had, then I would have already had my question answered as to why is the Spinner called "Spinner".

Good thing this time it was only over a masturbation sleeve. 😄

It is called "Spinner" because when you stroke it, the coils cause the toy to do a slight twist around your cock. It is enough of a twist to cause heightened sensations.

The downside to the Spinner is the very thing that gives it that unique ability to twist when stroked - the coil. For the coil restricts how girthy a penis the Spinner can accommodate. Lucky for me, I don't have that problem. For even without seeing the many pics of me online with frontal nudity, I have always described my penis to not be big, not small, just simply proportionate to my 5'6", approx. 150 lbs. frame. So my penis seems to have a size that fits perfectly inside the Spinner.

As for the orgasm it creates, what I've experienced is an orgasm common to my experience with Tenga toys. Hence why I have had so many over the years.

Most of my masturbatory orgasms can be pretty quiet. However, with the Spinner, like almost all other Tenga toys, I have an orgasm with which I can't keep quiet. Because it is just that good and intense a release.

To close, going back to the size, it is small enough to be total inconspicuous during travel. Not just the size of the toy, but the casing it comes in as well. For closed in its casing, it looks like a small bottle of roll-on antiperspirant.

So now you know, the Tenga Spinner is a compact masturbation sleeve that delivers mind-blowing orgasms that if you're traveling, you don't have to (nor will you want to) leave at home.😉 

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Fuck Train Engine


In my blog article "Evolution of My Bottoming", I mentioned how the French guy I was with made me the front of a fuck train, while he was the center. And how he was such a skilled center in picking up the rhythm of the guy at the end (the caboose) that I could feel the fuck rhythm changed when that last guy entered. That made me also reminisce about a couple of 3somes I had with a hot couple in Harlem. And how I experienced the same shift of who was running the fuck rhythm because of them being that much of a sexually in-tuned couple.

With that said, as far as my sexual history goes, I have been the engine, the passenger car, and the caboose of a fuck train. However, my favorite part is being the front - the engine.

After a social media posting, I was reminded that there have been a number of misinterpretations of what a fuck train is. Mostly because guys hear a term, and don't properly investigate the exact details of its meaning..OR they make up a term just to so their male sexual ego can say they made something. This has led to many confusing a "fuck train" with the terminology of "running a train on" someone. I personally feel the term "running a train" is quite idiotic because it is already what is succinctly and more appropriately referred to as a "gangbang".

So I made this drawing to give a visual of what a fuck train is. As for the color of the bodies, it's my way of giving a big "FUCK YOU" to the narrow-minded perception bestowed on us by porn. For all of the fuck trains seen in porn make it seem that only white males are sexually adventurous enough to participate in a real fuck train.
Plus, a real pleasurable fuck train is only 3 bodies. Not 4 or more. These 2 pictures may look hot because of the vast number of men being sexually charged simultaneously counters so many forms of sexual represssion. However, in actuality, it's another stint of a porn director living vicariously through his performers. Telling them to do something that may look sexy optically, but is by no means pleasurable in real life. For the too many bodies make it is a ball of confusion.


Well, truth be told, my fuck train experiences have been pretty much the skin color scheme I drew. I was the front of the fuck train with the medium skin tone; the guy in me was lighter complexioned, and the guy who was the caboose has always been the darkest. This was never intentional. It just worked out that way. And I'm quite proud of it because the diverse skin tones show how being sexually adventurous is not a market cornered by one skin color.


With that said, I am well aware that I am not the greatest artist in the world. I've been drawing since I was in kindegarten, but fell off from improving my skill. However, I do maintain enough skill to make my drawings say what they need to say. And in this case, it is to say...

THIS IS A FUCK TRAIN.

Friday, June 14, 2019

My Dick Fucked With A Finger Fuck

Before Instagram unceremoniously disabled my former account, I posted a video of me wearing the Finger Fuck from OxBalls to incite interest of me doing one of my Nude Dude Review videos for it.
Well, I never got around to doing that review video. However, I did make a Nude Dude Review video of sorts 😉...

You see, to many, by the name of it, you would think the Finger Fuck is only good for giving, well... a finger fuck. However, its various textures for each finger also make it a great sex toy for jerking off. As you will see in the video, there are points where I switch up the fingers my cock slides in between.
Keep in mind that I also lubed up the glove inside as well. And I strongly advise using a water-based lube. For I will admit to my bad of breaking the rules and using a silicone lube during the first time I played with a Finger Fuck. It was a last resort to enjoy the Finger Fuck because all of the water-based lubes I had at the time were being absorbed by the skin of my dick too quickly. So that one mistake has led to a small tear in between 2 of the fingers. A tear small enough to not make the toy useless as you will see.

This was before discovering Sutil, which is what I used in the video. And you can see how long it lasted. For while you see the video has fading transitions, which often indicate a passing of time in between, I never did a re-application of the Sutil. Those transitions were simply editing to cut down the time of the video from the nearly 13 minutes it would have been without editing its length since I was stroking my cock to fit the duration of the sex in the porn scene I was watching.

So take this post and my naked jerk-off in the video below as my Nude Dude Review. And let the cumshot (then jolt) be even more of an endorsement. 😉🍆💦


My Dick Fucked With A Finger Fuck powered by XTube

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Evolution of My Bottoming

Back in my porn days, during one of my too many visits to Lucas Entertainment, Michael Lucas asked me if I could cum while being fucked. I told him sometimes. Well, the fact is that was a lie... then.

It's quite rare that I lie, but one of the few times I do is when I'm giving answers about myself that are lies at the time, but will actually be my truth in the future. So the reason I tell the lie is not out of an intent to lie, but because I can foresee that future so clearly that I refuse to verbalize how it is untrue at that present time.

With that said, as much as I hate to lie and being lied to, what I know of Michael Lucas and my own history of dealing with him makes me feel no regret about that lie.

Especially since a recent trip to CumUnion made that lie about myself back then finally become my truth today.

My French playmate pounded away at me, and I realized that my dick was semi-hard. That is not unusual when I bottom. But I am never compelled to jerk off. I'm always about enjoying the dick, and letting that be where all of my sexual pleasure comes from. This time, I decided to go for it. As soon as I started jerking off, I could feel my physical orgasm coming. In fact, it grew in me slowly getting me to the point of ejaculation. And when it happened, I thought, "Oh my God, it's happening! HOW is this happening???".

I could feel the cum start oozing from my dick and onto the side of my finger. Then an even greater shock happened... I wasn't done.

I kept cumming. With the intensity of the orgasms growing, leading my cum load to grow as well. I surmise it was a cumload like the one from me playing with my SackJack.

However, even with that heightened intensity, I still wanted my playmate to keep his dick sliding back and forth in my ass tunnel. He did. And with not one single request to stop from me.


I have never been one who could masturbate while bottoming, then shoot a cumload. I could however do it while using an anal sex toy. With that, I always surmised that it was because, unlike with a human being, while using a sex toy, one doesn't have to focus on an actual human being's needs, desires, and in-the-flesh beauty for sexual fulfillment at that moment. But even without cumming from jerking off during sex, the sex still usually satisfied me. So I resolved myself to how the mental orgasm I spoke of in an article for Thotyssey is what I would always have with a guy.

I always wondered though that if and when I finally jerked off and came while bottoming if I was going to be one of those guys who once they orgasmed, would they end the sex. Thankfully, that was not the case.

This concerned me because as I have said before, if I'm getting good dick, I become an insatiable power bottom.

Keyword - INSATIABLE. Meaning keep going because their is no ending to this pleasure for me.

For I have always loved, loved, LOVED, LOVED  a hot guy's dick in my ass. Hating when the time comes that he has to take it out because life happens.

So I always feared a physical orgasm from my body's penile satisfaction while bottoming would make me go back on my word. Since the typical response to a male's penile orgasm includes an end to the sex. The mental orgasm I get knowing the pleasure my body is giving my sex partner allows the sex to continue.

We later sat cuddled together on the sofa upstairs. Just enjoying sharing a space with each other. I know it sounds romantic, even though it was a sex party. But that's the kind of energy I give off.

My sexual energy gives off my true view of sex - a physical and spiritual connection. Many gay males don't have the depth and/or maturity to handle that even at a sex party. If they're a top, their hard-ons are sparked by guys who they see as empty vessels to take their cock in. And if they're bottoms, they're holes widen for guys who they see as empty vessels who don't really care about in who they put their dicks. In any case, even if they talk to the person, such actions shows that they are drawn to someone who has less respect for their own humanity.

Anyway, we got so comfortable that neither one of us realized that we had both fallen asleep. We woke up because the party's host came upstairs to announce that the venue was preparing for Encore, the after-hours party held Fridays and Saturdays at Paddles. The host saw us on the sofa as he headed back downstairs. Teasing us by asking "When's the wedding?", because the last time my playmate was in New York, we met up at Paddles, and the host saw us cuddled together then as well. Like I said, I give off that kind of sexual energy, and a sweet few are deep and mature enough to embrace it.

Luckily, that nap re-energized us. We saw the after-hours crowd come in and be horny as fuck. We watched, but never got up from the sofa to get involved. I liked his naked skin against mine so I kept stroking his thigh, and occasionally kissing his chest as I leaned on it, and reached up to kiss his neck. The entire time, he kept stroking my shoulder and kissing on me.

Knowing he is inspired by watching people fuck, I started fondling his dick and balls, even before the after-hours crowd arrived. He was getting semi-erect before then. But once the after-hours crowd came in, he got harder, and harder.

What really sparked him into action was how while I was on my playmate's left, a Black guy was getting a blowjob to his right. The Black guy and my playmate started touching each other. The Black guy reached to include me, and I reciprocated by rubbing the smooth skin of his forearm, and reaching across my playmate so I could continue the travel of my hand to reach and massage the Black guy's shoulder.

This went on long enough that my playmate's dick got rock-hard and wanted to fuck my hole yet again. He was trying to include the Black guy by having the Black guy fuck him while he fucked me. You see, my playmate is actually quite skilled in a fuck-train. Hence the following tweet the following afternoon:

However, the Black guy never took my playmate up on the invitation. So it was just me and my playmate once again. That re-energizing nap led to my playmate thrusting into my ass for what must have been about an hour or more in various parts of Paddles. Eventually, he came inside me. I could feel the throbs of his cock as he let out his load. This was when I went back to a mental orgasm. Because at no point during that entire hour (or more) of bottoming did I stroke my cock. I was so turned on by his body in me and on me that I needed nothing else to stimulate me.

In any case, I'm thinking back on the pleasure of both Acts I and II. Learning I can now get off by both a mental and physical orgasm. This leads to new sexual information about my bottoming that I didn't know before.

So now, there is versatility within my versatility. 😉

Monday, May 13, 2019

Anal Muscle Memory - Trained, Gained & Maintained

I was recently watching an anal sex tutorial on Instagram given by a sex toy company I follow. There was some great misinformation given that I took great offense to hearing.

He said that it is a myth that the anus and vagina get stretched out, for they have muscle memory. Therefore, stretched out holes like the gaping holes you see in some anal sex scenes in porn will fall back into place.

First of all, keep in mind that you are just watching a porn scene. Your penis is not the one actually feeling that hole's firmness or looseness. That is why they are porn "actors". They have to make viewers believe that every mouth, penis, vagina, and butthole you see them play with is the best they have ever encountered, even when it's far from it. With that said, realize that a gaping hole in a porn scene does not always return to being a tight hole. Sometimes the reason it is gaping is because it has been put through enough to be easily made gaping by the slightest entry of any sized penis and/or sex toy. For not every porn actor does kegels and various other exercises to maintain the butthole's tightness, like I have admitted to for years.

This is a point that was not immediately made during the tutorial. And trust me, I waited for it. Way longer than I should have. Not saying that point immediately further enabled viewers to see porn actors as the sex superheroes we should not be holding them up to be. And as a former porn actor myself, that says a lot.

My being offended by this misinformation was heightened by the fact that the person teaching the tutorial... was my former manager. The person who trained me in my working the salesfloor at the sex shop I work at.

All that I write is based on biological facts about the sexual anatomy and psychological facts about the sexual mind that cannot be easily refuted. Even if people think that what I say is just my opinion, proving that it is just my opinion is quite hard to do. Hence why I have yet to be confronted with such an argument.

However, what my former manager said can be easily refuted.

Such as how the anus has muscle memory, so it can get used to being penetrated, then fall back into place. Yes, it can get used to being penetrated. The part that is misinformation in that tutorial is how after penetration, everything falling back into place is not always the case. For while the anus is a muscle, muscle memory for being penetrated has to be trained, gained, and maintained. Therefore, if such steps are not taken, it can be pushed to the point of losing its firmness. Especially when someone tries to imitate the unsafe practices of porn. I say "unsafe" because porn actors don't always train their bodies well. For of the many lose holes I have put my penis into, some of them have been those of porn actors.

In that tutorial, the trait of the anus having muscle memory was also compared to how the vagina also has muscle memory. Again, also true - initially. However, the vagina as well can be pushed to an extreme where it does not return to its original firmness. Like the anus, fisting; a gangbang with no breaks to do a small bit of firmness exercises; not being relaxed during penetration by a penis and/or sex toy; double penetration; and the forced entry of rape, add to that the birthing of a child can all contribute to a loss of firmness. For all of these are stresses to those orifices that require some level of exercises as after-care to maintain that muscle memory. Hence why all well-regarded sex shops sell kegel balls and kegel exercisers. Even electronic stimulation sex toys for internal play can help. Due to the fact that the electronic stimulation will cause the muscles to contract.

I was so offended by seeing this information not being given that I felt my fingers twitching to type a response to the absence of such vital information for great anal play. However, knowing myself, I realized that my response would have been quite verbally explosive in calling out such misinformation. Hence why I took this route in addressing it instead.

Such misinformation is why I have always said my job has not taught me everything. I knew a great deal about sexual anatomy before working there. Especially in regards to anal sex. From reading and personal experience. And the reason I can easily debunk that instructor's claims is more so from personal experience, but also from common sense within the sex toy industry.

Now, if any of what I said was addressed in that tutorial after I tuned out, then as I stated earlier, it should have been said immediately after stating how the anus and vagina have muscle memory. Otherwise, it will lead to the misinformed actions that I am writing this post to prevent.

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Satisfied By SatisfyerMen... On OnlyFans???


Back in July 2018, I wrote the blog article "The Social Destruction of Fan Paysite Pornstars". I still very much stand behind my position in that article, in which I criticized studio-based pornstars for not allowing themselves the right amount of downtime a porn performer needs to have mentally and emotionally healthy sex.



As there are many with so little of a life that they like to start drama, I'm sure such a post has some ready to scream, "HYPOCRITE!"

Well, with my abhorrence for hypocrisy, I can assure you that there is none here in my having an OnlyFans page. Primarily, because of the issue I stated in the post. And since I am no longer doing studio-based porn, the idea of a OnlyFans, JustForFans, and the like is an option I'm free to explore without being a hypocrite.

A lesser way I avoid hypocrisy is because at this point, subscribing to my OnlyFans page is FREE. I feel why should I charge for it when I haven't done so for as long as I have had XTube, RedTube, and Pornhub accounts. Hence why you don't need an OnlyFans account to see the 1st video I've uploaded there. That same video in its 7 minutes and 20 seconds entirety is also on my XTube and RedTube accounts.

Because I like what I do. I like to erotically stimulate people. And although I'm nowhere near rich, knowing you like it at this juncture is all the payment I need.

The reason I made an OnlyFans page is because I thought at some point I would make a video, and post it on there to test myself. And testing myself is what I always do. In this case, testing to see if I was going to be a hypocrite or not. Do I really want to make you pay for porn that is a peek into my personal sex life? An act I have long spoken against.

For my desire to do porn in all of its various art forms has always been to incite a safe space for those questioning their orientation, feel comfortable in their desire to be exhibitionists, and embrace the body they are in, whatever size or color that body comes in, as long as it's healthy. So the porn I do is to flip the bird to the sizes, colors, and shades that the media overhype as sexy despite their healthiness.

With all that said, clicking on the pick below will take you to my 1st OnlyFans upload. Enjoy.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Evolution of My Topping

After losing my virginity in 2002, I was a total bottom for about 2 years. Always knowing that eventually I would become versatile, but for the moment, I was a total bottom, and okay with that. That is why I always tells customers in the sex shop to be patient with themselves for whatever their goal may be.

Once I started topping, I always said that after 2 years of being a total bottom that in my versatility I am a much better bottom than top. No matter what percentage of being a top or bottom I was, even when my versatility reached 50/50, and a good number of playmates praising me as a top, I still felt my skill set made me a much better bottom.

I recently had 2 encounters with which I saw myself becoming more confident in my topping skills. An evolution, if you will. The signs of this evolution might not seem obvious at first, but I will explain how so, and why it is for the better later.


The first incident happened at The Cock. I was behind a curtain, and this guy was sucking me off. Right next to me was a short hottie that I've played with before. As he watched me get my cock sucked, he laid on his back on the bench while playing with his hole. The blowjob was pretty good, but watching that short hottie play with his hole made me rock hard, and needing to be engulfed by not a mouth, but the 98.6 degree and rising warmth of a hungry bottom's ass tunnel.

The past times I topped the short hottie, he assumed the position to be topped doggy style. Being the ass-man that I am, that made it easier to get turned on, start fucking him, and keep fucking him. This time however, seeing him in position to bottom in missionary made me want him right away. My craving wasn't to look at his ass while inside it. No, it was solely about being inside him. Seeing the beauty of his ass was no longer a crutch to get me hard and keep me hard. Just the thought of being inside him in any position was all I needed.

Before I'm called a hypocrite regarding Rule #5 in my rules of blowjob etiquette, I initially was planning to give my dick to the guy giving me a blowjob. But he was sucking me for so long that he seemed like sucking my cock was all he wanted to do. A man that is going to be worth my interest knows to do as I do - stop sucking to check on his playmate to see if he eventually wants that cock made hard by a cocksucker so it can go in his cocksucker's ass, like it should be. This guy never checked in with me for that. He was sucking me for all eternity and I was getting bored by it. As I mentioned before, he sucked it pretty good, but he never offered his asshole. My playmate from my past laying on the bench next to me did offer his asshole.

I went in my pouch and got out some lube to put on my cock. I then slid my cock inside him and started pounding with so much passion. A degree of a passion I've done while topping doggy style, but never in missionary. The more he moaned in pleasure. The more I touched his bare skin not covered by his harness and jockstrap. The more I wrapped my arms around him to go deeper inside him. It all made me not want to stop. But I did stop, so I wouldn't come. Because I have a feeling that if I did come, I would not have stopped. I would have probably shot a raw load in his ass, and kept pumping so I could try and shoot another. Fucking him so long that the lights would come on in the bar because of it nearing closing time.

The other instance happened at a Milk Chocolate NYC party.

I had already topped from behind while standing this sexy guy who was around my height. The entire time I thrusted into the soft cheeks of his ass, as much as I loved looking down to see those cheeks squeeze with my every inward thrust, I wanted him on his back. So I could look in his eyes right below those sexy eyebrows.

Later on in the night, he and a guy that he and I both had bottomed for earlier were sitting on a sofa in the space. Another guy put his legs up and started fucking the hottie. This put the thought back in my head of how much I wanted to look in his eyes while my cock is inside that amazing ass. Then the other guy stopped. So my chance opened up. And when this hottie saw my hard cock eager to get in him again, he opened his ass up along with that chance.

I got on my knees and put my hard cock inside him, with his legs leaning on my shoulders. He lit up the deeper I went in. And when I started pumping into him, he lit up even more. Maybe because my cock was also swelling from feeling his body hair and playing with his big dick. In any case, his being pleased was undeniable for me to see because I was looking right into his eyes.

So how do these 2 occurrences show that I am evolving in my topping skills?

I have long been saying that sex is not just a physical connection, but also a spiritual connection. The latter is one many gay males try to deny. Hence why doggy-style is the most common position at a sex party or backroom. For both connections exist even in a backroom/sex party tryst, and doggy-style, while a great position for a top to view the ass he is pumping into, it also helps a top avoid looking into his sex partner's eyes, which are windows to the soul.

With that said, those 2 encounters with me craving, then being a top in missionary shows me evolving because before then, my spiritual connection that I said was part of sex was obtained in my mind, but less obtained by our sexual position. Therefore, giving no guarantee as to whether or not the spiritual connection that was obtained before the sex was truly maintained during the sex. By me topping in missionary, a more intimate position, I have now evolved to obtaining that spiritual connection by more physical and definite means. A position where my playmate and I look each other in the eyes. Where we can see the beauty of healthy lust, and ask for more. Or see its ugliness and part ways soon after.

Since in addition to being horny, I need to vibe with positive sexual energy from the person(s), I believe the lust we'll have will most definitely be the beauty of healthy lust.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Nathaniel, R-U A Rapist?

For the first time in awhile, I went to the NYC gay bar, The Eagle for their Jockstrap Happy Hour. At this event, proceeds go to a charity by way of a $5 cover as most patrons strip down to usually a jockstrap or some other kind of underwear and enjoy cocktails, beers, conversation, and flirtation. Most guests from my experience partake of these things well and act respectfully towards one another's personal space. However, there is often someone with such a rabid level of social ineptitude that they can ruin it for someone.

Well, on this night, the name of the person with the rabid social ineptitude was Nathaniel.

I paid my cover and entered the bar. In less than a minute, this tall, slim black male came up to me introducing himself by saying "Hi, I'm Nathaniel". Even though I don't know my degree of celebrity, knowing that I have some at all still makes me wonder if such an abrupt introduction is either a social media follower or someone seeing me as an Average Joe.

He immediately offered to buy me a drink, and I refused. I shouldn't have to explain why I refused. However, since using one another is such a commonality in gay society endorsed by its media, nightlife, and porn, An explanation for my refusal is necessary before I continue.

When a guy offers to buy you a drink, he wants something. If you don't want conversation with him, don't accept the drink. If you don't want to kiss him, don't accept the drink. If you don't want to end up having sex with him,... DON'T ACCEPT THE FUCKING DRINK!!! So in practicing what I preach, I refused. Because your sex appeal in that person's eye (and/or their desperation) is what got you the offer. And I'm not going to let my sex appeal get me something from someone who I know wants something in return, but I have no intent of giving what they want to them. That's what justifies Karma's action when she takes your sex appeal away by way of your subconscious guilt making you age poorly.

Anyway, after my refusal, he persisted in trying to talk to me. I said I just got here, and I wanted to settle myself first. He seemed to get the hint. He told me to enjoy my evening, then walked away. As I was waiting, I was so in a rush to get in the bar that I forgot I needed to use the restroom. So I went. When I returned, I went to the opposite end of the bar. Once there, Nathaniel came back, and started talking to me again. And it wasn't like he was approaching me out of drunkenness that made him forget we met just a few minutes earlier. He was well aware that we spoke before because this time, he did not introduce himself.

In response to whatever he said, there were many things I said that made it clear that if I was to entertain his company at any point, that moment was not the time. Such as how a few times when he said that it seems like I had a wall up, one time I responded by saying, "I do. Because I don't know. It comes down the more I get to know you." In whatever various ways I said that, I told him the truth each time. Another time in his rambling I responded by telling him, "When I first walk into a space, I like to assess the room. Get a feel for it. And to focus and get an honest assessment, I like to do that alone. Hence why I often go places solo."

He still kept talking to me. In fact, he even furthered his closing into my personal space. For most of the time, he was leaning against the bar with his left hand. Leaning into me at a less than 45 degree angle, which was inciting my porn-induced PTSD to do something drastic.

With hindsight being 20/20, I think one of the things that saved him from a heinous reaction was the fact that my porn-induced PTSD is incited more by being actually touched, which even in his close proximity to my body, he never did.

As he kept getting such responses from me defending my justified personal space, he became unjustly defensive in both his verbal responses, and his body language. Such as how he went from the less than 45 degree lean to taking his other hand and putting it on the other side of me, closing me in.

The whole encounter had me so annoyed that I only remember bit and pieces of what he said. At that moment all I recall is that he was asking me how old I was. I told him that I would tell him if he would stop trying to corner me. Me having to negotiate for my personal space to avoid responding with a physically violent reaction made his existence more insignificant with every letter of every word he spoke and every millimeter of his movement. For he was trying to close me in to possess my time and space.

Now, as a Black man in the racist clusterfuck that is the American gay community, I am more than a little aware of how disregarded a black male can feel. Especially when we have been passed aside for white/light-complexioned guys by someone claiming to like, or even love us. In every scenario from a backroom tryst to a long-term relationship. However, the accumulation of such hits does not justify Nathaniel (or any other black male) imposing upon someone's personal space. Especially not in that fashion. And especially not the personal space of a stranger --- what I was to Nathaniel.

With all this said, I must publicly ask Nathaniel this...

Nathaniel, are you a rapist? Have you called yourself having a conversation with a person giving only a few inches, instead of at least a foot between that person and yourself? Have you gotten defensive when they ask you to back up? Even if they ask with the utmost politeness? Have you gotten defensive when their polite words show they would rather be left alone?

I must ask these questions because based on your behavior on the night of April 19, 2019, you have all the makings of a rapist. Repetitious in executing power moves upon the personal space of a person you have no claim to. So if you don't fix this behavior now, I expect to hear news of you being accused, arrested, indicted, tried, and convicted in due time.

I actually hope you have done no such extent of harm to someone. But if you have, I hope this article inspires them to come forward.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Open Letter To A Jealous Cunt From The Cock

The other night at The Cock, I ran into a guy I've made out with a couple of times before there. He told me that after our last meeting, a guy that he had never met before came up to him right after I left and said to him, "That guy you were with... He has AIDS."

So the following is my open letter response to whomever this guy is who said that about me...

Dear Jealous Cunt From The Cock,

I understand you told a playmate of mine that I have AIDS. To correct you, I do not have AIDS. I am HIV+. And to top it off, I am undetectable, and have been for a number of years now. So I am untrasmittable, and probably much to your chagrin, nowhere near death due to HIV, AIDS, or any other disease for that matter. For also probably much to your chagrin, I am in great health.

Perhaps you said that I had AIDS without knowing about my publicly revealing my HIV+ status. If such is the case, then you're just an envious asshole.

However, if you did tell that lie because of coming across my online revelation, then you're not only an asshole. You're also a fucking idiot.

For like I said, I publicly revealed my HIV+ status already. I uploaded a video to my Vimeo, then shared it via my Facebook & Twitter, posted a snippet on my Instagram account, wrote a post about that revelation on my blog, and recently made it an ongoing series with an article on KinksterMag. So even if I didn't tell him about my status at that time, which I did not, I had already put it in enough places online that it was only a matter of time before he found out. Whether by my revealing it to him directly, or his discovering it by chance.

With that said, I must say THANK YOU.

For you maliciousness gave me the opportunity to reveal to him the truth of my status. The reason I hadn't said anything to him thus far about my being HIV+ is because for me, one of the gifts of being undetectable is that my HIV+ status is no longer on the forefront of my mind in my social meetings. I take my medication everyday, and it is no longer a weight weighing on my mind. I drink, but don't get drunk. Nor do I do do drugs. So I am not doing anything that can be counterproductive to my HIV treatment.

That is why as I turn 48 this Sunday, I can look this good, and be healthier than many 20 and 30-somethings who drink excessively and do drugs. Here is a recent picture to remind you:

Now, the ignorance and internal ugliness that it took for you to make such a statement about me to a stranger makes one question if you can say the same as I about your alcohol and/or drug intake. Were you drunk? Were you high?

Actually,... who gives a fuck?! Whether you are substance-free of not, your action was a clear display of your ENVY. Your UGLY SOUL. You being CUNTy.

Whether you were lusting for me, or lusting for my playmate, you lost your shot at both. For if you at some point wanted me, this has definitely sealed your fate that there will never be a "we" between you and me. And my playmate's reaction to your actions shows he has no interest in you either.

Hence why FYI -  He and I are still cool.

So next time you want to try a move like this, I strongly advise you to not only get your facts straight. But make sure I never learn who you are.

You see, if your story was created by reading my blog at all, then out of your maliciousness, you have conveniently ignored the history of my blogging. One that has a history of putting gay bars, clubs, media sites, porn studios, porn actors, and their  managers on blast by name for their ignorance against me and/or one or more of my communities. So you are not safe from being dealt the same if I ever learn who you are.

The only thing saving you from being put on blast with photos and links to your social media now is the fact that my playmate did not point you out to me. And I think he's nice enough not to. But if he ever does, you had better pray that I don't know you well enough by name and/or face. Otherwise, everyone will know by name how hideous you are on the inside, which in many's eyes will make its way to the outside. That is if it hasn't already.

So your best bet to avoid a more public well-deserved public shaming that this open letter is show yourself, and come to me like a man with an honest apology. Have a good day.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

THIS Is MY Body - Lesson To Invaders


The title "This Is My Body" originally came to me as an erotic poem idea. But it was incited by seeing a former playmate of mine playing in a backroom with anyone who seemed willing to fuck and be fucked by him. More so the latter. Since my writings have long made it clear that value my body enough to need more than just my constant horniness to give my body to someone, I started working in my head a poem with the scenario of me presenting my body to my playmate or lover. Making it clear them that person that my presenting my body to those was not in the empty vein of that former playmate.

The first couple of lines came to me, but they started to turn. So the original sexy poem are going to be delayed for a bit. For the lyrics became ones telling someone to respect how because it is my body that I have the right to say "No! No, I do not want you".

This was because in that same night, a light-skinned Latino came up to me, and touched my chest. Initially, he was not bad-looking, but something in his energy made me uninterested. And it soon became evident as to what exactly was off-kilt in his energy.

For due to that bad vibe, I calmly moved his hand. Instead of him allowing the reality of how "No means no the 1st time", he touched me again. I felt my porn-induced PTSD being on the verge of a more violent reaction, so I started to walk away. As I was doing so, he added pinching my nipple to the unwanted touch.

We exchanged some words after. One of which led to me calling him a "socially retarded faggot". So evidently, I foresaw the potential for this behavior early on. So much so that it was in his aura. Hence how his initially being "not bad-looking" turned to being officially bad-looking.

I was already starting to work on the above video, but another incident happened just a few days later that made me need to put a rush on publicly releasing these emotions.

I was an at underwear party, and saw someone there who basically sexually assaulted me about 4 years ago. It is quite evident that his obsession with me and social ineptitude has not changed. I wrote a Facebook post the day after telling of one of the previous instances and the most recent. The most recent is what is told in the following excerpt:

This recent incident, I was being a voyeur to the action in the bathroom. I felt a body up against me. Then an unknown penis against my butt. I turned and saw it was him. When I moved to get away from him, he tried matching my position to block me from leaving. I was traumatized for a moment because it made me relive that last confrontation with him those years ago - ending with me throwing him against the wall.

If this is how this person behaves, I'm sure there are indicators of such social ineptitude from him in other spaces. For there is no doubt in my mind that THIS GUY IS A RAPIST.

What saved me was me being sober, and in a space where I was not alone. So I feel sorry for anyone who has been alone with that guy. But even more so, I must question the judgement of the person who brought him there.

This is a shame because such behavior is why people who would like to venture to these sex positive and sexually permissive spaces do not. And if such people do patronize the space, they cackle like hens hating on everyone who does partake of what the space/event offers. Even if those partaking are doing so showing respect for themselves, their partners, and their fellow patrons.

For all of this to stop, (as stated in a post on my Pied Piper of Sex page) we first must live our lives, especially our sex lives, denouncing the rules instilled in us based on body type, color, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation. But until we get on the same page with that and beyond, whenever someone approaches us with unwanted advances, we will always have the right to say, "NO. FOR THIS IS MY BODY!"

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Sex Party Etiquette: YOUR Hard-Up Rhythm Is Not OUR Rhythm


Yes, the image above is of a male putting his hand on a female's neck. But it is to push her away from an intrusion that sex party patrons, regardless of their gender or orientation have had to contend with. To the point that some of you may have actually done it yourself, or at the very least, considered it.

For if you've ever been to a sex party or backroom, there is no doubt that you have witnessed (as the top or voyeur) someone putting their hand on the head of the person giving a blowjob. Or perhaps, you have been the person whose head gets shoved into the crotch of your playmate by this overzealous voyeur. A voyeur who needs to get a life, instead of living vicariously through you.

Why do I speak of such a person so harshly? For a number of reasons that I am extremely unapologetic for. And if you are the person who has done such touching on a blowjob bottom, then you need to take a seat and learn why what you are doing is so wrong.

First of all, you were most likely not invited to this grouping. It is over 95% likely to have originated as a coupling, not a 3-way. And even if it is 2 people on one cock, the cock being sucked is not yours. Therefore, unless it is your partner being sucked, you have no idea what cocksucking rhythm pleases him. So you are being disruptive to the cocksucker finding the right technique to please their playmate, and you're also disruptive to the person being sucked. Especially if a pleasing rhythm and technique have been found and executed before your interference.

Some move the head with the innocent intention of assisting the pair enjoying an oral sex session. However, as they say, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". With that said, regardless of your polite intentions, you are still violating their session and personal space. Also, you are wasting time by living vicariously through them. So you really need to keep your hands to yourself.

In my experience though, the way the person interfering pushes the head of the cocksucker is usually not in a way that shows that they on some level want to assist. The one interfering often pushes the head with the kind of force that comes from pent-up energy finally finding a release. The problem is that, as stated before, they were not invited. And they are so socially inept in approaching the situation that they become intrusive and overly aggressive with not just one, but 2 people's bodies.

I have experienced this enough that I was seething when I saw the scene in a PartyHardcore video that I made this GIF from:






If such aggressive pushing comes from the partner of either the blowjob giver or receiver, it is safe to suspect that there is some under-discussed jealousy issues between that couple claiming to be some degree of open. In such a case, be you the sucker or suckee, it is just best to remove yourself from the situation. A fight between the couple might happen whether you stay or go, but the jealousy issue causing that fight will not be your problem either way. It is theirs. Regarding a matter they should have addressed before putting themselves in that environment and situation. Therefore, you have no need to bear witness to it.

While I didn't mention it before, sometimes the pushing is done to the one receiving the blowjob. An intrusive voyeur will touch the lower back or ass of the guy getting a blowjob, and push him into the cocksucker. I suspect the one giving the blowjob is usually the initial target for intrusion because of the chauvinistic (therefore idiotic) mindset that makes sex all about serving the male penis. So being a cocksucker becomes looked upon as a role of lesser power. Well, I proudly proclaim that I feel no less empowered when I go down on a guy. In fact, I feel more empowered. For my mouth makes him satisfied, and the receiver's satisfaction makes me satisfied.

In any case, interruption of a pair's oral session makes a swift response to make the pushing of the cocksucker's head cease become a justified response. So don't be like that intrusive, pushy chick in the gif. For like her, you receiving such a response to intruding upon a couple (as that guy did her) will be one well deserved.

Saturday, March 2, 2019

I Can Sell Your Dick Better Than Any Pornstar


After midnight on Friday, I wrote this post on my Facebook page:
After riding the Latino's beautiful cock, we parted ways. I then went and sat on a stool at the bar. Not too long after though, I could see from there that a go-go boy was trying to give the Latino a lap dance. The lap dance might have even led to some fucking over there. But it was definitely the case in an area behind a curtain closer to the bar, as I went for a closer look.

Trust me, my need to go in closer was not jealousy of any kind. My need to investigate was because I suspected a trend. The trend I stated in the caption of the Instagram pic below:
So this was the 3 time such a thing has happened in the past 4 or 5 months. It's common for fellow patrons in a sex party/backroom to scramble to be the next one to ride on the dick that just pleased you because your ass pleased him. But it's another social disorder present when that many go-go boys do the same thing in such a span of time.

What's wrong is that their behavior reaffirms my observations from over 7 years ago. About how today's go-go boys don't stick to being solely eye candy. And while most go-go boys are millennials, many let their horniness be governed by the narcissism and sense of entitlement numerous articles have shown that millennials have come to be known for. A work ethic is not as much in their performance as it should be, or as they might claim it is.

I'm sure this next suspicion is going to cause some of you to say, "Oh, here he goes with that again!", But the fact is many white and light-complexioned males have long tried to either be the "next and better" sex partner, or out right steal a playmate from a person of color. Yes, they play the same game with other white/light complexioned people. However, every medium to dark complexioned Black, Latino, or Middle Easterner, and Asian reading this has probably experienced this at some point, and a good deal more often.

Case in point:
At the after party that inspired my Thotyssey article, "Fetch My Drugs, Fetch My Fuck", I was the sole Black guy invited. Always having a White/light Latino playmate. When one guest would start playing with someone who came as part of a pair or grouping, all of the members of that initial pair or grouping was always added to being played with, but they were all either white or light skinned Latino. But when one of the guest tried playing with the guy my +1 (since I was the one initially invited), they tried acting like I wasn't even in the room.

Luckily, it never erupted into a conflict because the playmates I brought there were loyal enough to me to not leave me out, and tried including me when the white/light guy wouldn't bother. Looking back, I wonder does that have to do with them being European. Because I have not had such a high percentage of loyalty from American white males. But that's another topic.

My point is that all of these go-go boys are either white American or Latino. So it's only natural that they would be suspected of that same self-serving mindset. Especially by being a go-go boy, many looked upon as sex gods, and they know it. 

If this is not the case with all 3, it is definitely the case with Go-go Boy #1. For while I was bottoming for the guy he wanted, he was actually trying to chat away with my top to get him away from me. This just goes to show that you can give a white boy (even one with a big dick) a gig that portrays him as a sex god, but he can still exhibit the racist white male insecurity towards a Black male's sexuality.

For no man is a sex god, whatever color he may be. And no matter what media hype tells us, the deepest part of our conscience knows that limitation to be true.

Now, let's address the title of this article. It's because when you think about it, most fans of penetrating male porn actors are sold on that male not by his actions solely, if at all. They are more sold on that male porn actor by the reactions of the person they are performing sex acts on/with.

In my cases:
#1 was a combo of him thrusting into my ass from behind, and me thrusting on his dick;
#2 was mostly me riding the guy's dick, and;
#3 was me solely riding the guy's dick.
So the majority of action and reaction that made these go-go boys strive for a turn came from me. Therefore, it was my ass and my top's reaction to my ass that sold those go-go boys on my playmate's cock to the point that they wanted to be next in line. Much like a penetrated pornstar, but better than a penetrated pornstar because I didn't need to get paid in order to do it. It was a natural sexual chemistry leading to my natural fun expressed. 

It is definitely an ego boost to realize that the way I fuck, in this case, as a bottom, that I can make even the guys portrayed as sex gods want the playmate that I had obtained. And it may be a degree of envy involved. For those go-go boys' trysts after mine came more so from them dancing on that box. A perch for them to be noticed. Meanwhile, my trysts with those playmates came simply from me being in the room... at floor level like my playmates. Knowing recognition is a possibility, but not seeking it when they approached me. 😁😎😉😘

Friday, February 1, 2019

10 Seconds More, Then Fisted

Hanging out on the little stage in the basement of The Cock, I met a guy. After exchanging glances we gravitated towards each other. We started making out. As the making out progressed to us feeling each other up through our clothes, then digging down each other's pants in a dark corner, sex seemed to a definite expectation that night.

In our feeling each other up, he went for both my dick and ass just as much as I went for his. So I decided to do what I always do with a guy, even if he focuses more on my back than my front, or vice versa. I asked him if he was a top, bottom, or versatile.

It's unfortunate how the ignorant sexual roles based on color/ethnicity and body weight/height imposed upon us in the gay community by gay media forms made me fear I wouldn't trust him once he answered. For he was white, shorter than me, and our feel-up session informed my hand that he had an ass to die for on that smaller frame of his. So the racist sexpectations of me that I've experienced so many times before had me prepared for him to say that he was a bottom.

Instead, he said he was versatile (like me), but (unlike me) more of a top. From that moment, he didn't earn my complete trust in his character, but he earned a hell of a lot more than a white guy of any height saying he was a bottom. Because at least I knew by confessing to me he was more of a top, I knew for certain that he wasn't another gay white male taught by porn as to what a Black male's role should be during an interracial sexual encounter.

Some of you reading this are probably thinking that by bringing this up that I'm exasperating the racism. Such accusations come from 2 types of people:
  1. non-blacks who refuse to understand and;
  2. blacks who falsely validate their sex appeal by an interracial sexual encounter. Lowering themselves to becoming complacent in allowing those non-blacks to continue to not understand.
The fact is that I've seen the effect gay porn has had on our sexual expectations based on such "-isms" as racism and ageism, and I refuse to live in silence about its effect on my sex life. Because if I don't realize this consciously, then it becomes a catalyst for the subconscious uber-aggressive, brutal topping that too many ignorant black males do to appease non-blacks taught by porn.


But I necessarily digress.

After he told me he was more of a top, I lit up. Because that's actually what I wanted from him. We continued making out for a bit. Then went back upstairs to the bar for a drink. He then extended an invitation back to his place to which I graciously accepted.

We got back to his place. He asked if I wanted something to drink. I chose water. He stepped out and came back. After a quick sip, we immediately stripped off our clothes. I saw that fit physique of his in his underwear, and it only made me want his body to connect with mine even more. For his dick to be a key, and my asshole to be the keyhole by which entry of his key can unlock my horniness and his.

We started making out, and he put me on his bed. We continued making out, then he asked a question that threw me for a bit. He asked, "Do you like to get fisted?"

In my blogging over the years, I have put up much fuss as to how out of love for my tight hole, I would never try it. Then I remembered an interracial couple that lived in Harlem where each of them tried fisting me, and only got up to their knuckles. But through them I began to change my tune.

For I started realizing that I allowed them to get that far because I was so into them that I wanted their bodies inside mine in every way possible. So from that point on, I knew someday, I would get completely fisted. But that night was not the night.

So I thought that this night was going to be the night. Because I was that intensely into him. So to answer his question, I told him, "Not completely. But I'm willing to let you try."

And he did, He lubed up his hand heavily. He tried going in, and at first, only got as far as the couple in Harlem. He then offered me some poppers. Breaking my long-standing anti-poppers rule, I must confess that I took him up on his offer. And trust me, I am not proud that I did.

My head felt the usual light-headedness that I've come to know (and loathe) even by a contact high from poppers. However, even though I took a huff, I was still determined to prove the point I made in all of my anti-poppers articles. I then took a deep breath, and he started moving his hand around inside me. I had no idea as to how deep inside he was. However deep it was though, it did feel good. And this was not the high from the poppers talking because by the time I acknowledged the pleasure I was feeling, the high from the poppers had worn off.

Then it suddenly became too much. So I had him stop. I could see in his beautiful light eyes that he wanted to keep going, but he did what a real man would do. He listened to me listening to my body and stopped.

Afterwards, I asked him how far had he gotten inside me. It felt like he was all the way in, and while he was doing it, I saw none of his hand. So I asked to be sure. He said, "Another 10 seconds, and I would have been all the way in."

It wasn't what I expected to hear, but I was still both shock and disappointed at the same time. It's because I see now that I am capable of allowing someone to try fisting me IF my sexual attraction to them is intense enough. So I now do hope to try that again sometime.

I also learned that even if a full-on fisting doesn't happen, the attempt alone makes me horny as fuck for that fist to be immediately replaced by my playmate's cock. So we gave that a try. My playmate took off his underwear, and I could see his reflection in the window. So I was ready to look at a live porn show starring my playmate and my ass.

Unfortunately, my playmate drank too much and was unable to perform. And I was not at all mad. Disappointed, yes. But not mad. For he seemed completely sober. It was just a case where whiskey dick didn't hit during the initial act to cause excitement. It hit numerous acts to cause excitement. A situation I have experienced myself after a drink or 2 and intense foreplay. Especially on an empty stomach.

So we didn't fuck... That night.

A few weeks later, we ran into each other at a gay bar. With gay male's bad reputation for thinking of their playmates as disposable from life and memory, I expected him to not remember me if he saw me. It turns out he did remember me. Greeting me when he saw me. And from that we started making out again. This time, we didn't wait. We found a corner in the backroom, he undid his pants, and I immediately went down on him. While I was sucking his dick, I undid my pants and reached into my pouch and lubed my ass. Perfect timing. Because once he got rock hard, he picked me up, and turned me around with a quickness. Snatched down my pants. Put a spit lube on his cock, and put it in my ass.

He thrusted away at my hole. I reached back a few times to squeeze his nice ass as it flexed while he plowed into me. I grinded my ass on his cock a few times also because when I bottom, I am not a lazy bottom. There were guys watching this, but they were of no concern. However, my always multi-tasking mind did realize something about the crowd that was wrong, but too familiar.

With racism in the gay community being alive and well, the initial optics of this gorgeous shorter White man putting, then thrusting his eager cock inside a slightly taller Black man with an equally eager hole stunned many enough to make them look. But just for a moment. For many of the white guys, once the sexual racism ingrained in their so-called minds made them realize they were seeing something that "broke the rules", they left. So in my haze from the pleasure of my playmate's dick in my ass, I noticed that we were surrounded by mostly men of color.

I didn't really give a damn about whether the crowd watched or not. As far as I'm concerned, as in all my public sexual escapades, the mood to fuck hit me and a hot guy in a space I could release the tension, so I took advantage of the space and time. Whether or not people are there, or if they watch is not a necessity to make me do what I do. Therefore voyeurs are of no concern to me for the sex to be satisfying.

And speaking of satisfying, my playmate thrusted in my hole until I felt those throbs of a man's cock that I love to feel when bottoming. He shot his raw load into my ass. So I finally got that ass pounding from him that I had been craving since the night he was just 10 seconds away from completely fisting me.

So now, I'm wondering when I will experience that full-on fisting. If it happens, that next time I am determined to do it without the slightest bit of poppers. For I allowed myself to stray from my rules once, but it will not be a constant thing. Because within my loathing for hypocrisy, I view poppers as a hazardous crutch. So if I can't get fisted without poppers, then I am not meant to be fisted.

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