If I seem angry over this, it's because like my annoyance with today's go-go boys, I see a massive degree of selfishness and laziness (among other displays of incompetence). When I think about how I obtained whatever I have, such actions confirm the stigma of how your typical male porn actor is far from a man. He is instead DISPOSABLE for being a LEECH.
All of my adult life, when I wanted something, I worked for it, saved for it, and once I got it, I could be proud of myself for the fact that I got it on my own. Not by me putting it on an Amazon.com wishlist and someone lonely old guy desperate for validation. In fact, I've had an Amazon.com account for years, and have never used the wishlist.
Case in point as to how much I've done on my own:
- Anytime during my porn career that I attended parties like The Black Party or HustlaBall, I didn't have a studio, or the agent pimping me out hook me up in exchange. NO. I paid for my ticket with my own hard-earned money.
- The cameras I bought to do many of the self-portraits I did to promote myself. Such as the one that I took the photos with that appear with my interview in the book "Ultimate Starz". Who bought that camera? ME.
- The PC I used to edit those and all photos, write my emails, promotions, apply to studios, etc. Who went to the computer store, bought the motherboard bundle, casing, memory, video cards, and CD/DVD drives to put that PC together? ME.
- And who put that PC together? ME!
So if I'm disgusted by seeing male porn actors not being self-sufficient, I have a right to be. It because they are living up to every negative stigma I have had to fight against then an dnow. So they cause us to fall back. Not move forward. This is why when these porn actors die, you see so much commentary on blogs showing how much no one really cares. For they lived lives that made themselves appear disposable.
And when you live a life of mooching and being a leech, why should we care?