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Sunday, April 17, 2016

Open Letter To Chris Ryan on Racism

Chris Ryan is a NYC party promoter. He recently posted a question on Facebook regarding sexual racism, which resulted in too many reactions from some whites that were not unexpected, but are therefore saddening since they don't speak well of us as a community. And as a NYC party promoter, Chris may unknowingly on some level enable these reactions to live on. So after seeing this reaction too many times before on other party promoter's pages, I decided to possibly enlighten him as to why such reactions exist, and why they are wrong. And it's my seeing it many times before on promoter's pages that I'm posting it as an open letter...


Hello Chris,

I recently saw this Facebook post of yours:

I will give you an answer, as well as get to how I feel about your question later on in this message. But let me start by saying that it's sad to say that I was disgusted, but not at all surprised by some of the comments I saw in response to your question. For too many of your 1st white commenters were quick to either brush the question off with a "Here we go again?" or a quick non-explanatory "No".

Such comments are common for mainly a white person, but also a person of a light complexioned ethnicity coming from an upbringing (in their youth and/or time in the gay community), or a medium to dark complexioned person trying to avoid a charge of being perceived as "angry" by any of the aforementioned. For the best known gay media sources including The Advocate, Out, Instinct, Queerty, etc., as well as gay porn and gay nightlife furthers along the "mind"-set that in knowledge, beauty, and sex appeal "white, then light are the only rights". So we are all taught that if we fuck and love white/light, we should never question ourselves when we do so. Hence the sense of white entitlement displayed among your commenters who refuse to stop and question themselves. This furthers along the reality of the stigma of how gay males have arrested development issues.

We are so bombarded by these images of what is smart and sexy by a short spectrum of color, while the color spectrum of human skin is actually way more vast. So since we as humans are not immune to coercion. we must stop and ask ourselves if our attraction is ours naturally, or media-influenced. Again, the whites with a sense of White Entitlement and arrogance endorsed by white-dominated gay outlets will be quick in refusing to do that look within. For they are the ones benefiting from it, and too stingy to share such glory.

What is most troubling about this is how meanwhile, all of the aforementioned who refuse to ask themselves if their attraction to whites/light is natural or media-influenced are quick to make someone question themselves if that someone should want a lover of a medium to dark complexion. Case in point, there are many times when I've been out, and a white/light person has given me a look of interest, but won't do a thing or say a single word. However, later in the night, I'll see them give that same look to a white/light person, and spring into action without hesitation.

Now, I have made no secret of battling my own racism towards other black males. And I have also made it no secret how that racism was induced by the trauma of my growing up where I was surrounded by black males who fit every negative stereotype seen in media. After realizing that since I'm a decent black man, therefore there must be more, I'm still in the process of finding more and more other black males as sexually attractive. But the only reason that has occurred is because I practice what I am preaching. I stopped to take a look at myself to ask myself:
WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?
WHAT TAUGHT ME THIS?
And once I discovered what taught it to me, ask myself...
HOW DO I UNDO THE MISINFORMATION LIFE'S CIRCUMSTANCES HAS TAUGHT ME, and the MEDIA HAS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF?

Such a look within is the act of a man. An adult. The problem is those who write such comments as "Here we go again?" or a the non-explanatory "No" are not man enough to do that look within.

So with all of this, the answer to your question is YES, it is racist. For we all have a preference, but only the shallow among us are the ones who refuse to believe the truth of how both sex and love are spiritual connections. And if you have enough depth to let that spiritual connection take over, you can find yourself sexually and/or romantically attracted to someone who is not of your usual preference. For the very 1st time I ever had sex with a Black man was for my 1st porn movie. Before that movie, my preference for guys lighter than myself took precedence. But since that movie and my look within, I have had a few occasions of sex with Black men outside of porn and sex party environments, and briefly courted one as well. Why? Because I saw something in their spirit that drew me in, and I wanted that spiritual connection with them in sex and/or love for it. So the only thing to stop someone from putting themselves in a place/situation to possibly feel and act on feeling that connection is RACISM.

Note: The fact that I've dated/sexed more lighter complexioned people than blacks does not mean lighter people are better. Every color is equally fucked up. Hence why I'm single.

Now, let me close with what I promised from the beginning in telling you how I feel about your question....Since a social media site like Facebook is where many go to validate their viewpoint by gathering "Likes", I can't help but wonder if your question on Facebook was simply a way to feel validated by all those who gave you that non-explanatory "no", Add to you being a party promoter, therefore on some level enables the racist mindset, which might give financial (but not spiritual) success, I'm even more skeptical. But I hoping more so that this question was posted because it is a genuine concern of yours. If such is the case, then I commend you for asking the question. For it shows somewhere in you, you are aware that so much of what I've said here is TRUE. So you have compassion. Now, whether or not you let that realization and compassion come to the forefront of your heart and mind enough to take further action in any way within your reach, that is up to you.

I hope this message came through with respect and diplomacy. If I diverted from that at any point, based on all I've witnessed, I hope you understand my frustration. Thank you.


B.U.2B FREE,


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I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED for your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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