Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Porn Says It's NOT Sex Ed...Our Behavior Says...


"PORN IS NOT SEX ED!"

That has long been the porn industry's stance when accused of playing a part in our society's bad sexual behavior, including poor body knowledge and detrimental expectations based on gender, ethnicity, size, and color.

The porn industry has long been very hypocritical and schizophrenic about their part in our sexual knowledge and behavior. They take credit when it suits them, namely financially. Such as if a movie incites a number of couples to admit that a porn scene inspired them to do some great feeling sexual position, then the porn industry is ready for their close-up. However, if porn incites one or more of the elements mentioned in the 1st paragraph, which paints them in a justifiably bad light, then they try playing victim. Painting the person who calls them out to be "using them as a scapegoat", and take the "Porn is a fantasy" defense. Regardless of how much evidence their accuser(s) presents to prove their point. Including how at the beginning of many porn DVDs, you will find a warning notice that you should read carefully. For it says:
Did you notice the 2nd sentence? Notice the word "education"? And this was not the only porn company using the word "education". Yet even with that said, I expect very much that same avoidance behavior from the industry in regards to this post. But I have faith that by the time I am done, you will understand my points of view, and have a much better sex life for it.

Why do we need this discussion? For as great a country as it is, we live in America, which has a great flaw like most countries of being sexually oppressive, repressed, and misogynistic. Such a prime mainstream example of this sexual oppression, repression and misogyny is how 11 years ago, Janet Jackson's exposed boob from a wardrobe malfunction during the Super Bowl Halftime Show made phone lines blow up, and her banned to attend the Grammys, when all she did was own the titty. Meanwhile, her male performance partner, Justin Timberlake, the one who removed the part of the costume that exposed the titty, was still allowed to attend The Grammys.

With so many examples such as this still happening 11 years later, it's proven that we Americans are not having the discussions about sex, nudity, our bodies, and respect of the opposite sex's bodies like we should. So where are we going to get those lessons from? The one thing that appears to be the most open about sex ---pornography. And which gender is the main connoisseur of porn? Males. And what are females and gay male bottoms taught to do during sex? Let the penis-inserting male take the lead, and no matter how poorly skilled he may be, just grin and bear it.

While porn does appear to be the most open about sex, it doesn't teach you how to take care of a woman's body (or that of a male bottom). For most producers/directors are only living vicariously through the male porn performers they instruct to pound an orifice, and know nothing their damn selves. Why? Because most of them are overcompensating males. Overcompensating males who also have the same male ego prohibiting them from taking the time to learn about their partner's body, regardless of gender. Case in point, considering how most of the blowjobs I've gotten that on a scale of 1 - 10, I would rate a 5 or lower, it's obvious that most male egos won't let them do right to their fellow man with the same equipment. So you know they can't do right to females who have different equipment.

This brings us to the point of this post.

I have witnessed and conducted many conversions with male customers at The Pleasure Chest needing to enlighten them about the female body. Undoing the ignorance porn has decided to not include in a scene because in their eyes, it's "not sexy enough to matter". Well, if it matters to your partner, guess what? It does matter. Such as:.

LUBRICATION
How many times has a guy tried shoving his penis, dildo, or vibrator in your butt (or the latter 2 in your vagina) with only spit, or even worse, nothing at all? Or put lube on the object to be inserted, but none on and in you? And in spite of the pain and discomfort, you said nothing, and allowed him to come back for more? ...Too often most likely. The reason for this is most likely because we've taken our cues from porn. Porn which unknown to viewers has either the inserted object and/or performer lubed up off-camera, or the recipient of the insertion has a body abused and stretched out enough that lube is almost irrelevant to entry.

Who can blame either party for taking their cues from porn? It's not like most of our parents are going to give advice on anal sex, or how to use a sex toy. Heck, parents are reluctant enough to give do's and don'ts of vaginal sex. With that said, it's not a bad thing to expect porn to take responsibility. For they are showing a part of sex we aren't readily taught. So they shouldn't half-ass showing it to us.

Porn seldom, if ever shows the use of lube on a sex toy, or in anal play. Meanwhile, there are ways to make putting on lube sexy. Especially when dealing with a sexual geek like myself, or someone into medical play.

For I love feeling the flesh of where my penis will soon lay. Whether it's with the barrier of a condom is a personal choice that I will address later. Anyway, for people who share my sentiment, arousal starts even before entering our sex partner's body. It actually starts the moment the person inserting the object reach for the lube, with the person being inserted into also aroused by the anticipation. With that being the case, I don't understand why porn dismisses the application of lube be it to a finger, penis, or a toy like it is irrelevant, and won't light a spark in the viewer when it obviously does.

CONDOM USE
I have long been a supporter of condom use being that of personal choice. I have also never been a fan of the magically appearing condom. Especially in movies that tease viewers that a penis is going into a vagina or anus without a condom. I've even hated it in some of the movies I've done.

The reason why I have such a disdain for it is because of the porn industry's in-fighting over unprotected sex is mucked up with hypocrisy. For how can the condom police of the porn industry slam studios for not using condoms when the condom police studios act ashamed of their own condom use by having that magically appearing condom? Say what negativity you will about porn studios showing sex without condoms (as I have about the unhealthy look of some models), we must at least agree to give them a pat on the back for owning their unprotected sex practices, while many condom studios act ashamed of their safe sex practices.

Condom use can be sexy. In fact, some years ago, I was in a bar contest produced and hosted by former gay porn actor Will Clark called "Porn Idol". One part of the contest was to put a condom on someone in sexy manner, with a judge holding a banana to be used in place of a penis. Well, just as we contestants got creative, porn can too.

For instance, the one to be penetrated can put the condom over their mouth, and roll the condom down the male's shaft. But besides that, the sexual geek in me loves the feel of a penis in my hands, hard or soft. If porn didn't do so much oral sex on the male performer that he loses interest and his erection, then condom use wouldn't be such a chore to show. Porn should instead focus more on creating the erection, then putting on the condom immediately after.

FYI, a sign the overdone oral being the case is most likely proven by the fade in between the no-condom oral sex and the "magically" condom-covered penis. Fades in porn scenes are often a sign that something went wrong.

With all that said, these missing actions from porn need to be included way more often than they presently are. For porn may be a fantasy, but (unless it's a drawing, painting, or cartoon) it takes real living, breathing human beings to make it happen. Refusal to acknowledge and behave accordingly to this fact makes the porn industry need many a couch trip.

Therefore, until porn directors gets those couch trips, we need to stop taking porn's lessons for the sexually selfish, overcompensating male to heart. Instead, we need to listen to our bodies, as well as listen to your sex partner's words and body. And if you hear your partner's words and body telling conflicting messages, it's likely because they're following some culture's rule that makes them refrain from being honest. Since that happens too often, we need to break the chain by giving them the chance to be honest. So since communication is the foundation for any healthy relationship,...simply ask your lover.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED for your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

Fleshlight Launch

Lust Cinema