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Thursday, September 25, 2014

A Good Fuck's Toying Voices

I have for the longest been trying to get out to the bi-weekly erotic storytelling open mic event open to all sexual orientations in Manhattan called Foreplay! A Sexy Storytelling Open Mic. Well, this past Monday, I finally made it out there.

It can be hard to see some of my movements to enhance my story in the video below. Hence why my sole issue was with the lighting. However, even with that being the case, it was a great event. With everyone respecting and showing love for your story, even if your orientation differed from theirs. So I most definitely plan to go back.

With all that, I know you're wondering what my story was about. Well, it was mainly about the conflicting voices in our heads that toy with us when we're on the verge of good (maybe even great) sex. To tell that tale I relived some naughty moments I had with a go-go boy that I initially met while go-go dancing at a NYC gay bar not too far from this venue. A NYC gay bar that a friend in the audience quipped, "rhymes with 'The Rock'".

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Sex Party Etiquette: I Hit YOU Up, NOT You & THAT!

How many times have you went online for a hook-up, and when a guy you've wanted responds, especially after a number of miss chances, you get a message saying, "I'm here with 'so-and-so'. Come join..."?

Burying your annoyance deep inside because truth be told, when you hit the person up, you wanted him...alone.

So playing along with this makes you have to go to that other person's profile and see if they are of interests to you. And sometimes they're not. However, whether it's out of extreme horniness or you felt a connection beyond sexual that's so strong in your interaction with that initial person, that in spite of that voice in your head saying that other person is a bad idea, you agree to meet up. That is actually how my last "Sex Party Etiquette" post started out.

Me and the host spoke a few times before, but nothing came to fruition. Then we had an exchange before I went out the door that night. On my way home, out of boredom, I went to the website on my phone, and saw he finally responded to the message I sent after a couple of hours later. Don't you fuckin' hate that? So like too many guys, he dragged his feet in replying. And they wonder why they end up alone when they don't respect someone else's time. I mean, just because someone is a one-night stand, that doesn't make them any less human, or their time any less valuable.

Anyway, when I replied back to that message, he replied telling me in the body of the message that he had the other guy there --- the guy who would later become the ill-mannered, popper-addicted asswipe of "Mi Casa AIN'T Su Casa, Bitch!"

Why is this wrong?

Because when you hit someone up online, unless it is a couple's profile, you are looking for that one single person ALONE. Not that person and somebody else. When you open up an email to read its body all to discover that somebody else is already there, even if we don't want to admit it to them or ourselves, we feel cheated. And we have every right to feel as such. 

The reason we won't admit to feeling cheated is because this degree of self-loathing by accommodating those invitations to 3-ways without question has become a sad degree of normal. With that said, before I continue, let me include calling out myself as a perpetrator of this self-loathing, ignorant behavior. So when the opportunity presents itself, we and the hosts both continue the chain of selfishness and self-loathing in ourselves, and we enable the selfishness of these hosts.

This is especially true if you and/or the host is drunk/high on something. Be it alcohol, marijuana, poppers, or harder drugs, because your brains are not right. So if you have a normal code of decency that makes you think about your self-worth, as well as the feelings of other people involved, lust plus that chemical(s) are going to impair your judgment.

Some might be quick to say that this post was written out of spite, because of the bad experience from my last "Sex Party Etiquette" post. Well, let me tell you how you're quite wrong. If anything, that bad experience opened my eyes to look at the root of that situation, and how far back that bad root dated. It made me see how I've always felt slighted by someone offering me an invitation when there's already someone else there. For proper etiquette would be to indicate that other person's presence beforehand by the host telling it in his profile, or in the subject line of his email.  However, due to their mishandling, I always felt that all of those hosts snuck that information about that other person in the body of the email because subconsciously they knew they were being selfish at my (and maybe the other person's) expense.

These hosts know they're trying to trap you. They knew you really want only them. But they want to have their cake and eat it too. So they feel if they build your anticipation up enough, when they spring that other person on you, you'll want them so much that you won't say "No"...like you should. And that is how I ended up in that fix. Me led by a person with a weak and selfish mind to show myself having a moment of a weaker mind. Well, those days are gone. Hence why I am writing this post.

This post is meant to let you know that such a person is looking to boost their sexual ego at your expense. And for that, their ego needs to be deflated. So the next time you receive an invitation where another party is not told to you beforehand by the person's profile, or subject line of their message, drop them like a hot potato. For they deserve to be taught that lesson of how you are a human being. One who also has a craving for intimacy. Intimacy where you should not be tricked into the idea of "three's company". Intimacy where, at least for the initial encounter, the old saying still applies...of how "Two's company, and three's a crowd."

Friday, September 12, 2014

Diversity Rules Talks To Me


In the May 2013 issue of Diversity Rules Magazine, they published my poem, "Seeing Me Before I". Well, this September they are back with their podcast on BlogTalkRadio called Diversity Rules Magazine On The Air. And its host and magazine editor, Jim Koury has invited me to be a guest.

I have no idea what topics we're going to discuss. 
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/diversityrulesmagazine/2014/09/18/lenair-xavier-joins-diversity-rules-magazine-on-the-airAll I know is that I told Jim that NO TOPIC IS OFF LIMITS. However, I have made some suggestions of some under-discussed things in the gay community that I have named on this blog, my Facebook, and Twitter, but I will not name them here.

Also, PLEASE take advantage of the chance to call in to the show, or post questions and comments on the show's Facebook page. I know you have questions about the many positions I've been vocal about. So whether you agree, disagree, or simply want to know more, this will be your chance to have me give some level of a response.

I hope you'll tune in, and I also hope to hear from you. And if by chance you miss it live, don't worry. You will have a chance to hear it afterwards. Until Wednesday.... 

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Movie Review: PRIDE

This past Thursday, thanks to Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay & Lesbian Art, I attended a screening of a movie coming out in selected cities of September 26th entitled, PRIDE.

PRIDE is based on a true story that I must admit that knew nothing about. It's synopsis reads:

Realizing that they share common foes in Margaret Thatcher, the police and the conservative press, London-based gays and lesbians lend their support to striking miners in 1984 Wales.

When Mark Ashton (played by Ben Schnetzer) originally proposes the idea of Lesbians & Gays Supports the Miners, many gays in the room turned their backs and left. Feeling miners have done nothing for gays, so why should gays stand up for them. This gave me a sad moment thinking to how 30 years later, this is a lesson the gay community still needs to learn. For it brought to my mind how I quite recently addressed in a blog post where I called out gay media on how they demand acceptance from the mainstream media and arts, but when an all-inclusive event that should get gay support presents itself, 30 years later, gay media's actions still show the attitude of "why should we bother?". In short, the movie addresses how we all need to get over our "whoa is me" attitudes, by simply support one another. Thereby lessening the sadness of the woes. To the point that the woes may soon be gone. For whatever your community, you are never the only ones struggling.

This message was in my opinion very well-written by Stephen Beresford and directed by Matthew Warchus, with humor in just the right places to make a serious message, and under-discussed part of gay culture not create a downer of a movie.

Speaking of humor, a lot of the hilarity that ensues is when the London gays and lesbians are questioned by those in the mining town of Wales about whether or not many of the stories they've been told about gays and lesbians are actually true. Which makes for even greater laughs are times when this small group of gays & lesbians just happen to make some of the more positive theories seem like undeniable facts. Such as how at a gathering of the gays and miners, one of the more flamboyant gay characters, Jonathan (played by Dominic West) who was originally told to turn down his flamboyance, becomes such a hit with the ladies when he decides to get the party going with his dancing skills, that a couple of the straight miners decide they want to learn how to dance...A skill that works for them later on.

So with all that said, I highly recommend seeing PRIDE. It's almost 2 hours long, which for many movies these days creates a snooze-fest if it doesn't have action, explosions, and special effects to be used as filler. But in this case, PRIDE definitely holds your attention. Enough to the point that the action you might find because of this movie, might come after the movie. For this movie just might spark the activist in you.

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