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Saturday, October 18, 2014

Mr. Big Fuck


Porn has taught you that your big dick
Will make the gay boys and straight girls swoon
Well, stepping to me with porn as your teacher
Is going to be your doom

I’m going to read you as to how lame you are
It’s a truth overdue to unfurl
I’ll tell of your cockiness laced with lacking skill
Shaming you to the world

You think all you need to do is poke a hole with your pole
And from the pleasure, I’ll quiver and quake
Bitch, me doing fake moaning like that of a porno
Is the only thing keeping me the fuck awake!
Invent some moves, learn the definition of “rhythm”
Instead of being a citizen of Rhythm-LESS Nation
For what you give is far from pleasure
Instead, they’re annoying, awkward sensations

You snicker at the guy with a 5” dick
Still thinking your bigger is better
Well, he makes me moan in bliss for real
And sweat fine like a swine
So the bed ends up a hell of a lot wetter
I am horny to take his 5” again
After being bored to tears by your 11
For he knows how to work that 5
And take me to Heaven

Maybe you’re used to sluts that don’t do Kegels
Loosey-goosey holes wide like the Grand Canyon
After letting porn tell them, “Go big! Go wide! Go long!”
So to feel anything, big just laying there is enough to stand
Trust me, the problem is not me, it’s you
I do my Kegels all the time
So explain why I’m bored out of my gourd
Meanwhile, my tightness blows your mind

Mr. Big Fuck
Who do you think you are?
Mr. Big Fuck?!
You said your big dick would take me to the stars
Well, Mr. Big Fuck
Try getting a refund on the porn you used for sex ed
Because Mr. Big Fuck
The only think big besides your dick is your ego
And neither are good enough for my bed
____________________________________________________

Yes, porn especially has repeatedly told us that when it comes to cock size, "bigger is better". Well, to be honest, I have been bored out of my fucking mind while filming the scenes with 2 of the biggest dicks I've ever worked with Tamar Tyson in "The Booth", and gay-for-pay bitch in denial Double R from "Love of The Dick IV". And I must sight "Love of The Dick IV" because it is a movie too many are gullible enough to believe that to have been a hot scene of mine.

These 2 moronic directors are not the only ones who thought that these guys were very likely good fucks because of their "big dicks". Too many porn movies have been made to push this idea along, and I have slammed them in the process as well. With that said, proof of how bigger is not always better is 1)how I never raved about the sex with Tamar Tyson, and 2)contrary to a blog post I wrote for Pitbull Productions some years ago, know that I was paid to blog for Pitbull Productions, and the truth is the sex with Double R was FUCKIN' LOUSY. Hence why I made him the model for the avatar for the Soundcloud file of "Mr. Big Fuck".

Now, not all guys with big dicks are lousy fucks. After all, I did write "The Great Gotten From Gotti" about how good Favian Gotti's big dick was. The problem is that those of us with tight enough holes and skill (few of us as they are) can all agree that we have had way more Double Rs than we have had Favian Gottis.

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