But eventually, the clouds are lifted, and he can finally comes to terms with his sexuality. He could be 8, 18, or 80, but it's only when he finally allows himself to be who he is that he can really start living.
Unfortunately, the hindering of their sexuality can leave a lot of gay men unaware of how to go about having anal sex for the first time. But not to worry! There are a few things you can do to make your first time just as amazing as you hoped it would be.
Getting Comfortable With InsertionThe first step when you're just starting out with anal play is lube. Lots and lots of lube. It will make insertion much easier and limit your discomfort.
If you haven't experimented with anal play in the past, you can test your sensitivity using your finger, or an anal toys first. When using a toy, start with something small, like a slender butt plug. Go slow, and once you're comfortable with the size, you can move up to larger, more advanced varieties.
If you eventually decide to share your new toys with a partner, you should put a condom on them as well. Also, remember that oil and petroleum-based lubes can cause latex to deteriorate, according to GMFA. Whether your with a partner or sharing a sex toy, make sure that your lube is compatible with the condoms you're using, or stick with water-based variety.
Locate Your ProstateOnce you're comfortable with insertion, there are also toys that you can get to help you locate and pleasure your prostate. As Adam & Eve explains, "the prostate is considered to be the male g-spot." While it can be stimulated externally, "the most effective prostate massage is done internally with a finger or anal vibrator."
Knowing where your prostate is will help you guide your partner during anal sex, so he can make the experience as enjoyable for you as it is for him.
Picking the Right PartnerIt's better that your first time be with someone who you trust and can accommodate your need to go slow the first time. I've talked before about how I run into problems with men thinking that they can be forceful. Remember, gay or straight, that's never okay. Although you might feel like it'd be nice to have someone take the reigns for your first go around, chances are if they're not respecting your body in public, their certainly not going to in private.
Most importantly, while this blog endorses choice in regards to condom use, for your introduction to anal play, and until you feel secure with your partner, it is very much recommended that you use a condom. While there's no reason to be scared of having anal sex, it's crucial that you're aware of the risks so that you understand the need for protection. Anal sex provides a much easier route for the STDs because of the thinner wall of skin in the anus than any other hole. The thinner skin is more likely to lead to small tears, thus opening possible areas for infection. However, there's nothing to worry about as long as you and your partner are both safe and have been recently tested.
The pleasure of opening your eyes (and yourself!) up to a new world sex is indescribable. Your inhibitions are lost when you can be who you really are and have sex like you've always wanted. In no time at all, you'll be comfortable enough to initiate some fun on your own and maybe even join in at sex parties or two!
What are you waiting for