Whether it is at a sex party or even the backroom area of the NYC gay bar, The Cock, I have had one too many instances where Blacks guys seem to not take "No" for an answer. Though also unjust and intolerable, I'm aware that old White guys not accepting a "No" is because they've dedicated so much of their lives to their career that they lost the looks they had when they looked like the pretentious Whites we see today, sacrificing any real sexual social life in the process. So they have now become desperate. But what is the excuse of these young Black guys who are initially good looking, but become ugly by acting this way?
Before I continue, I'm sure some of you are ready to blame me for experiencing this by you asking, "Why go in the bar backroom, or a sex party if I know this might happen?"
It's a simple answer. It's because studying someone in the midst of the primal urge of sex, you get to learn who these people really are. For sex is so primal, many forget their filter, and you learn what they are capable of doing and saying, as well as the fucked-up mindsets they are governed by. Proof of this being that many single guys I found who knowingly avoid backrooms or sex parties, or always stand on the outskirts of the action playing the Cackling Hen commentator are the ones who have either experienced all that I am reporting in this post thus far and beyond, so they are no longer interested. OR they are the ones hiding the most, possibly even more heinous extremes of these behaviors.
Now, it's easy to let guys' compliments to me have me say that the reason for this behavior is that I'm "so attractive" that it casts a spell of some kind on them that they can't help themselves. Well, that excuse 1)makes it my fault, so you're blaming the "victim"; 2)rids them of taking responsibility for their actions; and 3)does not allow me to be humble about my looks, as I want and should be. Because at some point, as time moves on, so will this youthful appearance. And I refuse to act as if I don't know that.
So the one reason that makes sense to explain this behavior is that these Black guys make niggers of themselves by following some cultural credo that says to act this way. That because I'm Black, I owe them a chance to cop a feel. Or I owe them a fuck. Making whether I say "No" or not become irrelevant. And before anyone goes there, I am more than aware that there are also Whites, Latinos, Asians, Middle Easterners, etc. gay and straight who make niggers of themselves for following these racial entitlements and "'No' means 'yes'" credos. But here, I am speaking of my experience as a Black man that you can probably relate to depending on your own ethnicity or color.
Another reason is one that many don't want to admit to. Porn. For no matter how much you want to deny it, porn is still a gay male's teacher in how we sexually interact. With that said, it becomes obvious that the likes of the token Blacks from the big name White studios and most Black performers you see in ethnic porn are teaching gay Black guys weak-minded enough to follow that the overcompensating aggressive top behavior is the way to go. Which leaves other Blacks, Whites, or whatever ethnicity of the perceived bottom to comply without a fight, and tolerate the overcompensating rough sex from this top. It is for this reason that as much interracial sex as I have, I am unable to relate and find beauty in seeing it in porn, even if I top. For I have no intentions of lowering myself to being another nigger gorilla like Bobby Blake, Diesel Washington, one of the sell-outs in Chi Chi LaRue's "Blackballed" series, a FlavaWorks video, etc.
I expect better of myself, and so should my sex partner. That is IF he was wise enough to choose me to be me, and not the Black things he sees in videos. The problem is too many are looking for the latter.
YES, there is an overload of racist Whites in this country, as well as racist non-Blacks whose culture from whatever country they (or their parents) are from taught them to "marry White, because Black is whack".
YES, there is an overload of these same guys who are racist because of the influence of the racist Whites running gay entertainment (porn, nightlife, and media), but don't even realize they're racist sacks of shit.
YES, wrong as it is, porn teaches non-Blacks to be punished for their guilt of past and present sins of Whites and gay entertainment by having a Black guy fuck you so hard that you damn near puke out your innards.
And therefore YES, all forms of gay entertainment tell this weak-minded racist majority that if you feel you must have sex with Blacks that they're good enough for just a fuck, but not good enough for love.
But NONE OF THIS justifies you thinking I don't have a right to turn you down just because I'm Black. Because first of all, when you exhibit this kind of behavior,...
I am not Black like you. For you have made yourself NOT my "brother" or "brutha".
I am a human being FIRST. Therefore right or wrong, I am entitled to my choices. And you don't dismiss my right to choose by putting your hands on me after I have politely moved it. Thereby making it the right choice to dismiss you, and even do you bodily harm for invading the personal space that is my body. Regardless of where we might be, even if that's at a sex party, or backroom.
hate being Black" as one guy tried to tell me once. Otherwise, in a recent tweet after a sex party when I said that I felt like I topped the gay U.N., one of those many colors of bottoms was Black. And he got my attention by not following a porn credo. First, by being a bottom, then by loving my passionate, but non-abusive sex. But despite me overcoming my past racism against other Black males, the more Black guys keep up that negative behavior, and the more (unlike the guy from the sex party) the number increases of them imitating these nigger gorillas in porn, the more you will push me back to that dark place of being racist against other Black males. For it makes me border on asking myself, why should I stay in the light when you won't behave in a manner that shows I was right to bring myself there?
I've come a long way from what I used to be with that racism. So it would be wise to not make me go back there. Because as with any relapse, the next go-around...is going to be worst.