It has been repeated all over the gay "news" websites that the NYC gay bar,
Splash is closing.
Since Splash is the place where I 1)finally faced my gayness, then 2)met the 4 guys who were part of the 5-man orgy I lost my virginity in, 3)met the first guy I dated after coming out, 4)had my 1st paid go-go dancing gig, and 5)met some of the playmates you've read about (like the the Frenchman, then the 2 Swedes), you would think I would be saddened by this news.
However, that is not the case. For that was then. Now tells a very different story that as usual, I'm going to be the one blogger honest enough to tell it like it is.
At first, I thought I saw at Splash Bar a racial acceptance that made me feel anything was possible for me. My black was seen as beautiful. Enough to make Splash Bar a place I could go to and without effort, get propositioned and/or find myself in a one-night stand, or even date. Hence how I met the 1st guy I dated after coming out to myself, Alfonso. But in just a few short years, even after going to Splash sporadically, my sexual propositions there came more and more from non-Americans, such as the Frenchman and Swedes I mentioned earlier. Meanwhile, advances from Americans became practically non-existent, except on a Blatino night. And that was usually by Black guys who looked like they just came out of an ethnic porn video, which is not my type at all. Not even a one-night stand.
The seed of racism in our community was always there growing. However, all of the incidents in the 1st 4 sentences of the previous paragraph blinded me to it. For from my first night there, I've only seen about 2 Black guys ever win Splash's Stud Search contest. Keep in mind that I've been out for 11 years now, and frequented Splash quite a bit in those 1st few years. Plus, one of those 2 guys was me just a couple of years ago. And I'm sure the only reason I won was because the light-complexioned Latino who while wearing boxers (not boxer-briefs) got louder applause and catcalls than me, dropped out of the competition.
Some are quick to blame phone apps and websites for bar closings. I don't believe that's necessarily so. For a great many people who are looking instead of letting life happen are alcohol and drug abusers, so they need a place like Splash, or any other bar/club to congregate. And a phone app or hook-up website is not going to cure that addiction and desperation. Plus, since misery loves company, these people need the company of many around them to soak up negative energy from their guilt and self-loathing.
So so long Splash. It was a good run.