Saturday, July 6, 2013

Gay Pornstars,...Our Gay Super Heroes?

Every live appearance I made during my time as porn actor, "Tré Xavier", I never fully understood why patrons were treating me like I was some kind of superhero, or a god. Granted this was between 2005 and 2009, so I partly understood because being gay was still not as accepted in the mainstream as it is today. Therefore, gay porn was a gay male's only outlet. Making gay media hail any guy sexually expressing his homosexuality for all to see to be a "coming out' hero. Even though that was the case, I still always said to myself, "So what if I'm a sexually liberated individual? So what if I'm an exhibitionist? I'm not a god, so I shouldn't be treated as such."

If I said that to myself back then, you know that I'm definitely saying it now. For the porn scene has changed for the worst since 2005. In fact, it is that change that caused me to announce my retirement from the industry in 2009. But the change has gotten so bad now, that not only do I have no understanding at all of why pornstars are held up like heroes of sexual freedom in our community, but I am also straight up disgusted by it.

The reason being that when I was doing studio-based porn, there was a 50% chance that a porn actor was also an escort (or male prostitute). One reason that made me leave the industry was because I felt that percentage was rising. And I was right. It has now risen so much that you can find about 90% of porn actors with profiles on sites like Rentboy, RentMen, HourBoy, etc. or advertising their escorting services on websites for sex hook-ups. And contrary to what some may try to mislead you by telling you, as I recently said in this Facebook update, there is no sexual freedom in prostitution (or the sugar-coated word, escorting):


One reason I started doing porn was because at that time it was the only way a male questioning his orientation could see another male comfortable with his homosexuality. With that in mind, my plan was to be paired with guys showing real attractions, not fake ones. For hardcore porn isn't the fake sex in "Brokeback Mountain". Hardcore porn has the guys in front of that camera going all the way. Also, I wanted to use various forms of media to tell those questioning males, "If being gay is what you are, it's OK. You don't have to do porn to show it. But it's OK if being gay is the sexual part of you."

The problem was that the gay porn industry didn't care about sending such a message of depth, then or now. Hence the premise of using "gay-for-pay" porn actors that some porn studios are still throwing around as a marketing ploy. And I once pointed out how that denial of themselves has resulted in repeated cases of "gay-for-pay" porn actors being jailed for violent crimes. Meanwhile, questioning gay males continue to live double lives. Or worst, kill themselves because they fear living the lie, and/or leading that double life shown by "gay-for-pay" porn actors.

Add to that so many porn actors being escorts using the same empty-souled, dead-eyed sex in porn scenes as they do when turning a trick, my question is:

Why are we as a whole still making these guys into our gay superheroes?
The soulless sex porn actors have in front of those cameras is nothing to be admired. What they do today (more so than before) is teach our gay males to be empty to get by. Go to that dead place within like a molested child does to get through the abuse. For that is what a prostitute does everytime they turn a trick. With that being the case, are these porn actors of today what we should make our heroes? No, they are not. Yet gay media is quick to post stories praising them, and gay nightlife makes them a draw for their events. Well, the time of porn actors being the heroes of sexual freedom that we need has passed. And that is a reality an older viewer needs to face, and males in what I call "orientation limbo" need to note in order to avoid the confusion while they figure themselves out.

While my porn career consisting of 8 movies, 10 scenes, and 14 scene partners had me having some degree of attraction to most of my scene partners, they were a few where I had to fake my way through the scene. For the guy came off stoned, woman-hating, or a walking negative stereotype. So those few times taught me what a prostitute goes through with practically every trick they turn. Therefore, I'm well aware of how ugly those scenes of mine are.

With that being the case, I have now started taking the stand that I will not go to a bar/club event that promotes a porn actor as their guest or party host. The only time I might reconsider this position is for a charity event. Other than that, they are nothing I want to see. For knowing of their empty sex as escorts off-camera makes the fullness of their on-camera sex questionable. Thereby decimating the beauty of sex a voyeur should take in the sight of, and making them nothing I care to see live.

Since this avoidance to create genuine chemistry is what the gay porn industry has sadly become, I close by asking you again:

Why are gay porn actors STILL treated like our gay superheroes?

6 comments:

  1. I suspect that porn stars are treated as superheroes, maybe because they have become our idols. Many years ago, while living in San Diego, CA., there was a porn studio. While hanging out at local restaurant, there was a porn star, by himself. I knew who he was, and went over and introduced myself. He was not the bold, tough; sexual macho guy, that was portrayed in his films. As we chatted, he admitted that it was hard work (forgive the pun)& he said that the pay was okay. If he had to do it over again, he would not have got into porn. He said, that he hustles on the side; always insecure, that his dick will never be big enough--in the industry, it was a lot about size. (for tops). Hell, he looked me over and said I could audition and probably get hired. No, thanks, I said. Before that interview, I had put this guy on a sexual pedestal. Now? I don't think so.

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  2. This needed to be said, and you're the only one with sufficient gravitas to say it. Politically incorrect among the Velvet Mafia as always, and I wouldn't want to see you write in any other way. Magnificent and memorable. Thank you!

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  3. I can definitely tell the effect that it's had on gay men. Now sex is an anonymous, dead, completely robotic experience. There's no chemistry, no organic quality, no soul. People just hook up and detach. Hookup and detach. I was raised like this. One thing that gay men fail to realize is that as a community, we are responsible for the young gay boys and men who are coming out, and we set an example for them through our actions and the way we treat them. This onslaught of older gay men running through young 17-18 year old boys, using them up for all they're worth and throwing them away, is extremely destructive. That's what's destroying our community. This idea that we can live perfectly happy lives in a community where boys and men are things to be used and nothing more. There is no more love. There is only despair.

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  4. I'm the anonymous person who just posted.

    I'm 22 years old now. I have never been on a real date. I have never had a boyfriend or fallen in love. Ninety percent of the men I have slept with expressed a strong urge to avoid getting to know me. I have slept with over 300 men. I'm guessing because it's so many that I've lost count. I have been sexually active with adult men since I was 14 and I am here to say that there is no love in the gay community. We talk about it, we pretend that our community is about love and acceptance during pride festivals, and on TV when we talk about gay rights and teen suicides. But the truth is that the gay community stands for one thing: how to take an adolescent questioning his sexuality and break him until there is nothing left but meth, HIV, and death. That is the legacy of our community. We are scum. Not because we are gay, but because of how we act. We are truly a community of scum and disease.

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    Replies
    1. Sadly, as a whole you are quite right in all that you say. Even about our community being one of scum and disease. As a whole that is. That's why I pride myself on my individuality. For these behaviors that are damning us are gay media and entertainment induced. And even if I go to such events that display this and mention so (via this blog, Facebook, or Twitter), my reason for being there is more to see are we progressing or getting deeper in the hell-hole. And sadly, I must say that I've thus far witnessed the latter.

      Delete

I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED for your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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