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Monday, June 27, 2011

Back As A Bad Boy In 2011

After 2 years away from the stage, come July 10th, I'll be back as one of the performers on Will Clark's Bad Boys On The Hudson Sea Tea.

Now with all that has transpired between me and the gay porn industry, one might ask what am I doing back as one of the "Bad Boys"? Is this a sign of a return to the porn industry?


The answer is NO. But with the beneficiary being Braking The Cycle, and all of the proceeds going to help fund the HIV/AIDS services at the LGBT Center here in New York City, since you can take the exhibitionist out of porn, but you can't take the exhibitionist out of the man, I decided to let my returning as a Bad Boy be a way to put my exhibitionist nature to use for something good and worthwhile.

Now let's talk gift bags.

Each performer is expected to bring a gift bag. Most likely featuring movies that they've been in. Well, with my retirement and recent move, I've decided to make this the perfect time to clean out my closet of some things that are taking up space in my closet, but can be fun in yours. So with that in mind, I'm giving away all of my copies of the movies that I'm in that I've ranted and raved at some one or another about how I enjoyed being a part of it. Along with that, I'm giving away some of the sex toys that you've seen me play with in my XTube videos. And I may throw in a few other little things as well.

I was eyewitness to the live show last year, and just like these pictures show from the last time I was a part of the entertainment,
 what I saw gives me every reason to anticipate that this year we are going to once again give new meaning to how the Hudson River is thought to have some "dirty waters".

Such dirty waters that the live show seems to motivate audience members to put on shows of their own. This includes myself last year, who along with my guest got quite frisky with each other while standing on the sidelines. Let's just say while we were trying to be discreet, some of the guests on the boat were eyewitness to how thick and hot pink the head of the cock was that I took in the first night me and my guest met and fucked in a bathroom tryst about a week or two earlier.

So with all that in mind, I hope all of you NY-based or NY-bound fans and readers will click on this link to be on that Sea Tea come July 10th with tickets being $22 in advance, but a little more at the gate. With all the dancing and other things that will be going on, there will be no need or desire to fasten seat-belts, because it's going to be a humpy night.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Folsom Street East 2011

I was arriving late for things related to Folsom Street East 2011 all day.

First, I got there late for my volunteering duties to help with set-up. And no, I purposely did NOT go out the night before. However, being the dutiful person that I am, not only did I make up for how late I arrived, but I stayed a little beyond. Once done, I went home, and it took me forever to return. In fact, I didn't arrive to Folsom Street East until 5:30 while it started at 2 and ended at 7.

Once there, I went to the volunteer table to go drop trou and wear my fancy underwear. It wasn't long before people were gawking at me and asking to take my photograph. As you'll read later, I even had a porn actor demand my underwear from me. I guess have good taste.

I did get some pics of hot guys though. However, I've distanced myself from the porn industry now to the point that the only way I knew that these guys were pornstars was either by them appearing at the Will Clark Show, seeing their names often on Facebook and/or Twitter, or just by mention of their names that day. Hotties like:

Kennedy Carter

Angyl Valantino & Hot Rod
Good thing I already had my little outfit planned out. Otherwise, I would have probably shown up in something very similar to or the same as Hot Rod.

 And Jessie Colter who saw my underwear and jokingly demanded them. 
My initial thought was to offer a switch. Which if you think about it, his BIG body in my size SMALL skivvies would have worked ---for him. However, my small body in his BIG jockstrap---not so great a look. I also considered very much the way college guys fuck girls and keep their panties as the prize, to let him fuck me for my undies. But something made me not make the offer. Good thing, because in doing my research for this post, I discovered Jessie Colter is a big bottom.

Oh well, I did get a pleasing dick in my ass that night. It just wasn't Jessie's. But that's another story maybe for another post.

Lastly, I made sure to get up close so that I could see the closing of Folsom Street East with the always popular Pie Eating Contest.


Afterwards, I was asked if I had ever entered the contest. And the answer is NO.
Which brought to mind the question as to whether or not I would do it if asked?
The answer to that question: Maybe.
And with that maybe, I leave us both to wonder would an ass-man like me who has a nice ass be the ass-eating pig or the ass-eating pig's troth? Hmmm...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Night As A Bartender

Last Thursday, you may recall that I was tending bar at the opening reception for an art sale at Leslie/Lohman Gay Erotic Art Foundation. I wasn't doing any heavy duty bartending since all I was serving was white wine and seltzer water. But being always open for a new experience as I am, I accepted the offer to do the job.

One reason I accepted the job of tending bar that night was because as many of you know by now, I'm a people-watcher. So being in that one area for those 3 hours gave me a post to observe and encounter various types of people. And boy, did I observe and encounter many types.

Another reason I accepted the offer to tend the bar that night was so I could get a taste of experiencing what a bartender or any service person goes through, even though I get a good idea watching it from a compassionate customer's point of view. But it's a different experience when you are actually in the mix of things. As I've already experienced firsthand on my few occasions as a go-go boy, with guys trying to cop a feel and not show appreciation for my dancing my ass off and taking the time to be kind. So I knew there would be those who didn't tip when I got into this. I see it as a patron at every bar and restaurant I been to, and every cab I've rode in.

And if my observations as a patron and times as a go-go boy taught me anything, it taught me to tip based on 2 things:
(1)Taking the TIME to be courteous, and;
(2)Making the EFFORT to do the job effectively, giving some leeway because I usually don't know a service person's experience level.

For the most part, my credo worked in good karma for me. Because what might surprise readers to know (but not the patrons who were eyewitness) is that before that night, I've opened a wine bottle ONLY ONCE before in my life. What worked to my advantage was the fact that the corkscrew was very similar to the one that I own (but rarely use) at home. So even though it's been a few years since I opened a wine bottle, my doing it so often that night made it quickly come back to memory. What made it difficult was the bar being so high (just below my upper abs) that it threw off my body to properly put the screw into the cork. But even when I was having moments of difficulty opening a wine bottle, I still got tipped by the patrons who helped me. They saw me take the TIME to be courteous, and even with my being a novice, they saw my EFFORT to do my job effectively. There were others however who showed themselves to be the aforementioned nightmare of every bartender and service person --- those who don't tip.

Even though I tip at a bar just for ordering a soda, I might expect not tipping from someone who is not much a drinker, because they might not know proper etiquette in such situations. But if you're making repeat trips to the bar, then your bitch-ass knows the protocol.

Of those who made numerous trips to the bar without tipping, would you believe one of them had the fuck-faced audacity to make their "tip" be how to open a wine bottle? To that person, I didn't smile at all. I just stared and let my eyes do the talking like my mother always told me they did.

I let my eyes say, "Back the fuck away from the bar, before I hurt you". Because this guy always asked for ice, especially with a wine spritzer. So when he gave me that "tip", I wanted to pretend to reach for ice, but instead reach into my pocket and get my cell phone and do a Naomi Campbell, hurl it at his head, and WHACK! And when he winds up with a big red mega-knot on his head, THEN hand him some ice while saying, "Here's your ice. I think you need it for that little boo-boo."

He was lucky that I love my cell phone enough to practice the restraint Naomi Campbell didn't.

That guy wasn't the only time I needed to practice restraint. Another came up to the bar, and while pouring his glass, I hear the clinging of coins going into the tip jar. Yes, COINS! After the opening reception, and emptying the tip jar, I saw how much it amounted to, and it doesn't really matter whether it was 1 cent or $1 in coins, there is a problem with this.

It's 2011, and we're all adults. Who else but the obviously pretentious tips a grown-up with coins - no matter how much they amount to. I am not a charity, a bum on the street, or an employee of a place like Dunkin' Donuts where I see that kind of tipping is encouraged by a low-rising mug being placed on the counter. People should be mindful of that sort of thing. Because things like this might justifiably happen in return:

This next guy was another I needed to practice restraint with. Not only did he not tip, but his main crime was that he stunk, as in major body odor. I wanted to tell this guy, "Look, God put it in man's mind to create soap AND a shower. It is a damn shame that you came in here without choosing to invest time in using either!"

Now, I knew I had to practice restraint in this instance as well, because I knew if I said anything to him about his body odor and how offensive it was, my reaction would have included giving him a make-shift shower by pouring on him the melted ice that was in the bucket where we were keeping cold the first bottles of wine.

If we were at a real bar, I could have done to that dimwit what gets done to the dimwit in this video:

Despite the flawed judgement of these people, just as they say "every dark cloud has a silver lining"----every clear blue sky has a dark cloud that has to pass through for a moment. These people were the dark clouds that passed through my clear blue sky. Because overall, I enjoyed myself IMMENSELY. And while I got into more detail of the bad of the evening, it didn't overpower the good of the evening.

The good of the evening including the various people asking me if I was a model, and how they lit up to discover that I've actually modeled for the drawing studio before. One such encounter may have even got me another shot at modeling for them. Because when the patron who was an artist was complimenting me, the studio's director  just happened to come up to the bar. So the conversation between me and the patron turned into a conversation between the patron and the studio director.

As I said before, I like meeting a variety of people. That can be seen more evidently if you saw my friends. Most of whom have never met each other because they don't hang out in the same kind of places as one another. But the fact is that I am quite shy, so being the bartender that night made me have no choice but to up the ante on my socializing with people that I normally would be too shy to socialize with, no matter how worthy of the time I found them to be. So since being a true Aries, and liking the idea of challenging myself, I was more than happy to use this opportunity to do that.

And I would gladly do it again, with all the good and bad.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

CHALLENGER: Faux Rainbow

With June being Gay Pride Month, I felt it appropriate to make my CHALLENGER poetry series start getting in people's heads. Because the gay community as a whole needs to be challenged on correcting those things that are making us come off as hypocrites, and now is as good a time as any. So that by the time we do a Gay Pride March in NYC at the end of this month, we may have a reason to not only take pride in being gay, but also in correcting the things that separate us. Thereby strengthening the justification for our demands and the potency of our fight for equal rights. With racism possibly being THE main thing separating the LGBT community from within, it is a must that it becomes undone.

Due to some of the implications made by the poem and/or video, I've included a disclaimer with the video. Mainly because of the lines that imply a desire to burn the rainbow flag and Michael Lucas' face exploding, which was prompted by his constant arrogance in claiming how Blacks are the most homophobic, YET he hires Whites with internalized homophobia calling themselves "gay-for-pay" to be in his movies. I DO NOT condone violence, but these lines and images definitely show how I have grown tired of the excuses by not just the likes of him, but many heads of gay media - from magazines, video, movies, nightlife, etc.

So I hope the poem and video speak to you. 
To those doing the shunning, GET IT TOGETHER!
And to those shunned, STAY STRONG as I LOVE YOU.





A rainbow flag waves in the wind
To be symbolic of gay pride
But I am fearing it waves in vain
When I expose what many of you try to hide

You hear wise words come from the dark skin
But you show how it’s light you favor
For you wait to give him a platform
To praise his light skin as the brand of a savior
To raise up our community
But you are steady keeping it down
Limiting the rainbow of skin
That can add to the power of sound

By treating me like an outsider
You induce dreams of seeing the flag on fire
The fact that I can even think this
Shows how much your actions are dire
For I am proud to be my gay self
So I don’t want to see the flag ablazed
But sometimes it seems the only way
To show ostracizing a man over color pays
For I have tried diplomacy
Yet, you persist on ignoring me
Until you want my body for your cause
But once won, it’s “Be silent! Get lost!”

Accuse my color of homophobia
As to why your numbers fall short
But it is YOU who is sick with a phobia
Exiling my intellect from your court
Over your fear that my shade of skin
Can be found smart, sexy and beautiful
If you tried embracing it in those ways
You’ll find your fight’s progression much more fruitful
And don’t play one of us as a token
A facade to say you have respect
Since us non-whites are equally great
Give us more than a little speck

Face how you’re called out on your hypocrisy
Face how your life is a blight on our community
Face how compared to our oppressors
You are actually worse, and far from better
Face how much you need me
Not just as a number, but as a face of beauty
Face how much you stand to lose
If you never get the clues

So I ask you,

Is that a faux rainbow
Waving in the wind?
For I see mostly the lightest colors
Are ever allowed in
To become crowned “Most Beautiful”,
“ …Congenial”, and “…Likely To Succeed”
Leaving the darker colors to appear
That their being heard is of no need
So take in all I have said
And ask your deepest within
Is that a faux rainbow
Waving in the wind?


©2011 LeNair Xavier

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

When Beyoncé Is Talking To You

I admit that I'm not a big Beyoncé fan. Well, not to the point that I am for Janet Jackson, or still am for Michael even though he's now another music legend that has passed on, but she's getting there. It's because I'm at a point of mature thinking where the artists who get my fan-loyalty are legends and legends-in-the-making - not record company-manufactured flashes in the pan.

The reason I've been so silent about my being a fan of Beyoncé among others is because as a male member of the LGBT community, I need to practice my individuality, because most gay males do not on so many things from the ethnicity of guys they like to the music that they are a fan of. Case in point, why are so many gay males in bar and clubs getting excited over Beyoncé's "Run The World (Girls)"? Good dance beat, but what I've seen are most gays acting as if Beyoncé is talking to them It's a song meant to empower WOMEN, therefore unless gay males' dick and 2 balls have suddenly evaporated and been replaced with a vagina, they need to sit down and shut the fuck up, and stop chanting like it's their anthem. Because this is a time when Beyoncé is not talking to you.

Now in the case of songs like "Irreplaceable", or her latest YouTube audio upload making the rounds, "Best Thing I Never Had", Beyoncé just might be speaking to you. I know these songs speak to me. For most guys I've parted ways with as lovers and/or friends have been dumb enough to think that they're "irreplaceable". And the song "Best Thing I Never Had" makes me look back on all of those guys. All of those guys who were:

such massive fuck-ups that they got written about in blog posts;
such a repeat performance of past massive fuck-ups that I haven't bothered writing about them;
so empty and stupid to not view sex as the connection of souls as I do;
so cowardly to use sex with others as an escapism tool, instead of manning-up and dealing with your pain alone;
so superficial that they allowed my honest, but non-extravagant living not be good enough for them;
or so empty inside that they took my kindness for granted, be our involvement as friends, lovers, or even friends with benefits.

People wonder why I've never had a relationship beyond a month. It's because my heart is open enough to allow these guys to get some degree in the door of my life. However, when they "showed their ass", I was able to "dodge a bullet" by foreseeing a future with them bringing me to their level of having the fucked-up point of view that would make my life as sad as theirs. And since "what goes around comes back around", if they haven't already, they will get to the point of regretting letting the great soul that is mine get away.

And since this great soul of mine is not only intact, but has flourished since their dismissal, they are the best thing I never had.

Monday, June 6, 2011

LeNair Xavier - Leslie/Lohman Bartender

Yes, you read correct.

This Friday, if you come to the Back to the Basement Art Sale's opening reception at the Leslie/Lohman Basement Annex, you'll see me there as your bartender.

I was honored to be asked. Even more so when I saw the list of artists whose works will be on display and for sale. Because as it turns out, I have modeled for 3 of the 15 artists: Rob Clarke, Anthony Gonzales, and Chuck Nitzberg.

As I have mentioned before, Anthony Gonzales drew some sketches of me at the 2006 Erotic Art Fair, and was kind enough to let me have one of them. And Rob Clarke and Chuck Nitzberg were both in attendance when I was modeling at the Leslie/Lohman Erotic Drawing Studio recently.

Now, I've been given the OK to at least be shirtless for your viewing pleasure, so given the exhibitionist that I am, you can guarantee on seeing some live skin. Skin that you won't find in any of the pictures, but can still counter America's repression towards nudity. Looking forward to seeing you there.

Back to the Basement Art Sale
Leslie/Lohman Basement Annex
127-B Prince Street
New York, NY

Opening Reception
June 10: 6-9 PM

Art Fair and Sale
June 11 & 12: 12 - 6PM

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Come See Me @ HOWL! Festival

On Saturday June 4th and Sunday June 5th, ALL poets are invited to participate in Open Air Poetry Circle Readings at the HOWL! Festival!
While there will be poetry circles throughout Tompkins Square Park between 12 - 5 PM on June 4th and 5th with all poets allowed 5 minutes, I have made a reservation to read my poems on Sunday, June 5th between 3 - 4 PM.


In my alloted 5 minutes, unlike how I did at the Rainbow Book Fair this past March where I read 1 poem, I intend to read 2 poems. Both of which are based on true events and observations.

The first is a romantic poem entitled "Seeing Me Before I". It is based on someone I met back in the mid 90's who looking back I now realize was making advances towards me. But if you recall, I didn't come to terms with my orientation until 2002. So this poem is basically me reflecting and wondering how my life would have been different had I accepted his advances. And if I did accept his advances, would it have made for a better or worse today. While the scenario in the poem is about a missed opportunity for a relationship, I'm sure the main idea can be applied to other facets of life, such as job offers you turned down, or being fired. 

The other poem is entitled "Faux Rainbow". It is the next part of my CHALLENGER series. This poem challenges the gay media and community as a whole in its displays of racism with as light-complexions being the ONLY faces of intellect and beauty. And yes I am blowing my own horn by saying I will be delivering such a hard-hitting truth that so many gays of color feel that it will be more than a little obvious that those of us with darker-complexions are just as smart (thereby beautiful), if not more so. Hence the reason why, I would like the support of all of my NYC-based fans to come out to the HOWL! Festival, but make sure you find the poetry circle I am a part of on Sunday between 3 - 4 PM.

So if you just happen to be in the East Village that day, feel free to stop by and hear for yourself. :-)

For more information about what the HOWL! Festival go to HOWLFestival.com.

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