Go To Hell With Your Party For The DL

Monday, I received an invite to a sex party called "Nubian Dukes". It's a fit guys' party that caters to only Blacks and Latinos. The fact that it is an ethnically-segregated party in 2011 is the reason I've never attended. It's racism to counter the racism of the White patrons that I've seen and mentioned at other sex parties. But this racism from those other parties comes from the patrons, NOT the host. So it doesn't speak well of a host to create a party with the purpose of continuously catering to a moronic mindset. Because it makes you no better than the patrons you're making a feeble attempt at separating yourself from. You and those patrons might as well lay in the same bed, because both beds are made of separatist ignorance.

Now, some loyal readers may try reminding me of how I attended a Black and Latino party held by Milk Chocolate NYC. Yes, that is true. But the fact is (1) an overwhelming majority of their parties are all-inclusive regarding ethnicities, (2) when they hold a party for only Blacks and Latinos, I usually don't go. In fact, I don't think I've been to one since the one that I wrote about and (3) they're not DL parties. If guys show up and happen to be on the "down low", that's their prerogative, but the Milk Chocolate NYC party is not marketed as such, which is another reason why it gets my approval. 

However, since I have been to a Black & Latino party held by Milk Chocolate NYC, to avoid being guilty of hypocrisy, I decided that I was going to give Nubian Dukes a try...again. But when I looked at the ecard, I was reminded as to why in the past have I never followed through with my decision to go so many emails prior.

It was because of those big letters underneath the picture of that gorgeous man, "NYC's HOTTEST DL PARTY!"

Between thinking of my own struggles with my coming out to myself, National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11th) being in less than a month, and the fuck-faced audacity of JustUsBoys.com Magazine putting out a "Coming Out issue, this ecard annoyed me greatly. 

My reply to their ecard reads:

Due to your promoting life on the "down low". I would very much appreciate not receiving your emails anymore. I find it DISGUSTING, for it's self-loathing and gives racist Whites more ammo to try passing the buck of their internalized homophobia as they greenlight lifestyles like "gay-for-pay" in porn and escorting.

Until you change your promoting tactics to entice out and proud, therefore REAL MEN, LOSE MY EMAIL ADDRESS!!!!! Thank you!

I think the reasons for what I said are self-explainable, especially if you know details of my coming out and subsequential porn career. But for those who are unaware and/or don't understand, I'll work backwards in explaining.

I would first like to address my remark "...gives racist Whites more ammo to try passing the buck of their internalized homophobia as they greenlight lifestyles like "gay-for-pay" in porn and escorting." That remark was fueled most recently by me seeing the latest issue of JustUsBoys.com magazine called "The Coming Out Issue". I find this horrendously hypocritical because the porn industry, especially those featuring White performers more so greenlights life on the "down low" rather than inspire males leaning towards discovering they're homosexuals to be out and proud gay men. Yet Whites involved with the porn industry (be they producers, directors, or bloggers) are quick to say how Blacks are so homophobic. Being a gay-for-pay bitch in denial in porn and/or escorting, and having people disrespectful to the beauty of genuine attraction around you giving a thumbs-up to either do not inspire one's coming out. Instead, they have the opposite effect. So to hide these obvious displays of homophobia among Whites, racist Whites will use a party like Nubian Dukes promoting a party for the Black/Latino DL sect as a way to say homophobia is "those people's" issue, and not their's while they make a profit from it.

Yes, my late coming out does incite my annoyance towards a DL party. Because although I don't wear it on my sleeve, I refused to live a life of not being secure with my sexual orientation to deny it should the truth of it surface. I feel I was not as intelligent as I am now, nor was I anywhere near being sexy before coming to that realization about myself. I felt only a fool would have believed that I was sexy knowing I was living in denial. And the same holds true for anyone who thinks one is sexy presently living in denial, "gay-for-pay", on the "down low" or on the DL. They are fuckin' idiots.

Part of the reason that I'm 40, but don't look it is because unlike those living that way, I don't have to worry about hiding who I am, which is part of the reason why I came out so late. The worries from me living a life of looking over my shoulder hoping I'm not seen by someone who I think would disapprove seeing me go into a gay bar, a building housing a gay sex party, or a section of a park where gay cruising and sex goes on ---none of that is wearing on my soul. Therefore, living the lie never makes its way to wearing on my body.

But many living the lie will not be able to say the same as me when they reach my age and beyond. In fact, most already can't say the same while I have at least 10 years on them. Which is why though I hardly do online hook-ups, when I go to a hook-up website and get hit up by a guy on the "down low", despite my already existing disgust, after reading his profile, I look at the face pic, take note of his age, and see how along with white guys, ...black does crack, brown does frown, and beige does age after all. Why?

Because living the lie is living in hell, so go to hell with your party for the DL.