Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Post-Porn Poetry Salon, Then Getting Naked

I have said many things against the gay porn industry. And it's not out of jealousy of others who are or were more successful in it as some like Diesel Washington and Micah Brandt would like to insinuate. Because truth be told, part of my decision to retire is because I saw that the more successful one is in the porn industry, the more of a slave they become. Whether it be a slave to a porn company, being a kept male, or a slave to the sex industry overall. And since it is an industry that is only profitable for you when you are young and/or have the looks to get by, the fact is neither of those 2 last forever. Therefore, it is safe to say that I got out before my looks faded from the stress. I can't say before age caught up to me, because even though I have a stamina that either keeps up with or outlast many 20-somethings, Father Time is a power no human can run from.

With all that said, one would think that I regret my time in the porn industry when it is quite the contrary. The truth is all of my words against the porn industry is not out of regret. Instead, they are because the industry is NOT what it should be - a playground for exhibitionists as originally intended. However, if it wasn't for it becoming more and more the commercials for prostitutes that it has become, I wouldn't have had the stories like those told in my poetry series, "The Industry". For now, a domino effect has taken place that I must now proudly report.

As I said in a previous post, the morning after my reading of "The Industry" I got an email from an audience member inviting me to be part of various events. One of those events was the Poetry Salon at the Rainbow Book Fair that I recently announced and took part in this past Saturday at the LGBT Center. I was aware that each poet had a 5-minute window. What I wasn't aware of was how that 5-minute window could include more than 1 poem. So the 1 poem I read was a poem I wrote back in 2005 called "Decision Ride".

To tell you what a "Decision Ride" is, it is the name I gave to a tryst that someone who claims to be straight but is in some degree of "orientation limbo" uses to figure out if they are truly straight, gay, or some degree of bisexual. In the poem, I let it be known as to whether or not I'm willing to be a guy's decision ride and what factors must (or must not) be in play to influence my decision of YAY or NAY.

I was considering posting the poem here today with this post, but I decided against it. Because that would be me giving you the milk for free, when you should have bought the cow with the little donation of transit fare. After all, it was a free event.

My friend who got me into all of this introduced me to a few people, and my shy self actually got up the nerve to make some new contacts on my own with a couple of LGBT publishing companies and magazines at the Rainbow Book Fair. I did this by presenting my story of my late coming out, and my porn past that followed. I don't want to give away any names here as to who I spoke to, so I don't jinx my chances of something coming to fruition.

So it is safe to say that I had a very good day at The Rainbow Book Fair. It is a shame though that this is the only one in the country. At the Poetry Salon's After-Party at Elmo, I mentioned in a conversation with a woman from one of the lesbian publishing companies that maybe one of the companies there could start one in their area. I got the idea from the way the Gay Erotic Expo would always have one in California and a week or two later, one in New York.

And my post-porn journey doesn't stop there.

My friend also got me in contact with the head of the Leslie/Lohman Erotic Drawing Studio, and I will be modeling nude for one of their drawing classes within the next couple of weeks. The last time I did modeling like this was back in 2006 when I posed for the Erotic Art Fair, possibly in that very same room the Rainbow Book Fair was held. So while studio-based porn ignored the good my exhibitionist spirit can bring, it is still getting a chance to be on display. And as an artist myself, I'm glad to do it in this environment. One that I have an even more personal appreciation for.

So one night of me telling the mess the porn industry and the people in it are has led me to this road. Where it will lead, I don't know. But one thing is for sure, it is better than where staying in the gay porn industry was leading.

And for that reason, HATE ON, HATERS! HATE ON!

Because the gay porn industry served some purpose. Now, I'm moving on and I feel I'm going up in the process.

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