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Sunday, May 31, 2009

Back To The Divide

When I first started doing porn, I was still pursuing a career in mainstream entertainment. Trying to juggle pursuit of both became too much to handle, so the one where I was making the least progress had to go. Within 1 year of being in adult entertainment, I had already done at least 3 appearances on Showguys.com, and was featured in my 1st 4 movies, so the mainstream world was the one left behind.

Now fast forward 4 year after Tré Xavier was born, and I have now become such a voice held in contempt by the big name studios (I was once foolishly pining to work for the racist and ageist likes of), that I can now divide myself between adult and mainstream entertainment without hassle.

That's why I'm pleased to announce my new involvement with a talent agency, and more specifically, my upcoming Pride Festival appearances where I will be a background performer of recording artist, Lovari, on these dates and places:

Saturday, June 6th, Staten Island Pride - Noon - 5 PM @ Cromwell Recreation Center, Hannah Street (@ Murray Hillbert Ave) http://www.chasiny.org/
Sunday June 7th, Queens Pride - 11 AM - 6 PM in Jackson Heights, 37th Avenue (between 89th/75th Streets) http://www.queenspride.com/.

I thank God for the fans who I must thank for their loyalty. Some of you have followed me from my start as a porn actor, and I hope you will continue to do so as I go back to the divide of involving myself in both adult and mainstream entertainment, which is only seen as a great divide by the hypocritical. I'm sure you will, because one thing you know about me by now is that I am not one-dimensional, and the fact that you keep coming back here shows that you appreciate that about me.

So once again, I leave you today with the compliment ---- YOU ROCK!!!!!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Write That Down #1

I've said many things in passing over time that I've been told by friends and family that I should write down, because they make such good sense. With that in mind, I'm starting a new category for this blog called, "Write That Down".

So I'm starting with this quote that I posted on Twitter today:

I like getting compliments on my ass. Because it is a lot better to HAVE an ass than it is to BE an ass.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Monday Night's Winning Streak

I'm not a gambling man. Really, I'm not. But this past Monday, I went to 2 bars, both having raffle prizes, and won, not only at 1 of the bars, but BOTH of them.

My 1st stop was View Bar here in NYC for their Monday night party, WOOF! That night they were celebrating Manuel Torres' birthday, so I decided to go, because I think quite well of Manuel. You see, when I was going to perform for the 1st time on Will Clark's Bad Boys On The Hudson Sea Tea, I sent and email out to all of the other performers telling them how honored I was to be amongst them. "Them" being well-known names at the time like Kyle Douglas, Scott Spears, Pete Ross, and my personal lust object, Jason Dean. While do recall getting an email reply from Scott Spears, on the day of the Sea Tea, Manuel Torres was the 1st person to come up and welcome me into the group. Others followed, but you know like they say, you never forget your first.

At WOOF!, there is always a number of raffles held throughout the evening with porn DVDs as the usual giveaway. Tonight, all of the DVDs given away featured Manuel Torres. I was there long enough for about 2 raffle drawings. During the 1st drawing, the numbers 094 and 095 were called. I thought after that, plus new customers were coming in which meant more tickets were being added to the pot, that my number, 096, was an impossibility.

But I was wrong.

I met a guy outside, short, White, and wearing a baseball cap. We talked and hung out with him. We came back inside together for the next raffle drawing, and to my shock, I heard the numbers "0-9-6". At first, I was actually going to let it go, because I feel I have enough porn in my collection. But when I got up there an found out what movie I was getting, while I maintained my composure, I was more than a little excited. The movie I won was Raging Stallion's "Hot Properties". My excitement is because Jason Dean was in that movie. You might think I'd be disappointed being that Jason Dean bottoms in his movies while my fantasies about him have us in a raunchy flip-fucking session, but I have a well-equipped enough imagination to take in the sight of his beautiful naked ass, and let my imagination do the rest.

And that cumshot makes me wish I was there to do pull-ups on that circular staircase to get feed his warm protein-enhanced man-milk.

Me and this guy I met, hung out some more , and he suggested doing to Barracuda for a nightcap. I totally forgot that someone earlier at View Bar mentioned that they were giving away tickets to see Beyoncé. They gave out raffle tickets, and while hesitant to take one, I took it anyway. Now, I wasn't hesitant because I hate Beyoncé, because I don't. I was hesitant because I thought that since I already won 1 raffle, there was little chance of me winning another.

WRONG AGAIN! This was quite unsettling to me, because (call me a typical arrogant Aries for saying it, but) I'm usually right.

They called the number, and HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT! - it was mine. I got 2 tickets to see Beyoncé. When I got to the stage, The drag queen hosting, Peppermint, had me do something unthinkable to me. I had to do the dance to "Single Ladies". I winged it much to my chagrin, because (1) I hear so many gay men play that song that I am now sick of it, and (2) so many queenie males try to imitate that very well-crafted, intricate, and FEMININE dance, that unless you're in good drag (therefore it is not obvious that you have a dick and balls), doing that dance doesn't look good, just as it didn't look good with me trying it.

After leaving the stage, I discovered the guy I was had left without so much as a goodbye. I gave him my card earlier in the night, so if he wanted to be a man, and apologize for leaving like he did, he has my email and phone number to do so. An apology so overdue now since that was Monday night, and it is now Thursday. Therefore, justice would be him getting a tattoo of a bold "L" place on his forehead standing for "LOSER".

Well, FUCK HIM!

Because you know after winning those tickets, I now have other prospects. I got asked if I had someone to go with as soon as I got off the stage, and had people coming up to me congratulating me for the rest of my time there. People who I've seen at other places, but never said a word to me. It's tempting to use these tickets to such an advantage, because I'm sure you aware of how much dick, ass, and pussy I could get because I have these tickets. I could fuck all day, give the impression that they'll be my date, then give them an unpleasant dirty fuck when I fuck them over and take somebody else. But then I'll be a loser like the guy I met at View Bar.

What makes this so funny to see people's reaction is the fact that I know that these tickets are nose-bleed seats. I'm not complaining because I got them for free, but that's the reality. So many people that night wanted to be my friend, for seats high up in the air at Madison Square Garden that you probably couldn't call Beyoncé on a megaphone for her to hear you. Even with that being the case, I plan on having fun with whoever I decide to take along.

AND it's for June 22nd. So THANKS Peppermint and Barracuda, for one heck of a way to kick off my Gay Pride Week here in New York. Whoo-hoo!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The FlavaMen Blatino Awards

There's a new awards show in the adult entertainment world. Some may say, "Oh great, just what we need, another one of those."

That might be the case if it represented an overbearing number of White performers leaving it's multi-cultural buying public out of the loop. But that is not the case here.

It's The FlavaMen Blatino Awards. An awards celebrating the best in Blatino entertainment, where it's multi-cultural buying public is not left out of the loop because not only is there also an Asian category to pick nominees for, but most importantly YOU are the ones choosing those nominees. YES, you have a say in this one guys. Therefore, there should be no complaints of winners being based on a popularity contest amongst industry people like there was with the GayVNs. Plus, in nominating performers, you're not limited to nominating performers who have appear only in ethnic-porn movies. You can choose an ethnic performer who has appeared in what's considered a "mainstream" porn production as well - no special categories necessary.

Speaking of categories, they will be announced in the Spring 2009 Issue of FlavaMen Magazine and at the website for the awards, BlatinoAwards.com. You do your part by sending in your choice of nominees for each category by way of magazine ballot, or the website.


Remember me saying the multi-cultural buying public is not left out of the loop, That's because anyone across the globe who views Blatino entertainment from any company, has Internet access, and/or get FlavaMen magazine can take part in the nominating process. YOU MAKE THE CALL OF WHO GETS A CHANCE TO WIN.

Oh, and did I forget to mention that I'm one of the judges. So me and the other judges have to choose from your choices. We may place nominations as well, but our nominations hold just as much weight as anyone of you, and not a bit more.

So tell us who you're into. Go to BlatinoAwards.com now, and make it known of who gets you off.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Thanks For The Advocate Support

Hi all,

I just wanted to say THANKS to the many who supported me for my comment recently published in The Advocate. I have received emails via Facebook, MySpace, and personal emails from Blacks, Whites, Latinos, and Asians giving me kudos for that comment. With that being the case, getting kudos from such an ethnically diverse group of people tells me that I'm on to something with what I said, and the studios I named (or are guilty of the same and didn't name) should take heed to what I said, and show it by getting a more ethnically diverse model roster.

I am by no means saying this to blow my own horn, I'm saying it because I like being a part of this industry. I'm also a perfectionist, and when I'm a part of something, I want it done RIGHT, not half-assed. And these studios practicing racism is half-assed, as it can force the hand of the ethnic studios to do the same.

I try to always let my readers know how much I appreciate their loyalty. And to still have your support after a controversial statement of mine gets exposure in a well-respected national publication like The Advocate, for that I can't show my appreciation enough.

My Dearest Readers - YOU ROCK!!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Messy Boy For The Birthday Boy

I've mentioned before how I'm still in touch with the French guy I talked about in French Kiss, Big Bliss by way of social networking sites. On one of those sites, I saw that his birthday was coming up, and an unexpected fantasy flew into my head of what kind of present I'd like to give him.

I never have sexual fantasies involving food. The whole whipped cream, chocolate sauce thing has been said and done so many times that it's a cliche therefore boring to me. So I think with that boredom, I subconsciously upped the ante on that fantasy. In this fantasy, there's whipped cream, maybe some chocolate sauce, but it will all be on his birthday cake.

My fantasy has him walking through the door where I surprise him with a cake. Not a big one. One that is big enough for two. We'll share a slice. He's the birthday boy, so he gets 1st bite. I take a bite, then when I fed it to him again so he can take his next bite, I'll smear it on his face.


He'll have a look of shock on his face, I'm sure. But his shock won't end there, because then I would passionately kiss him, then strip him. First, the shirt - and what good is stripping a hot guy of his shirt if you don't do some nipple play? Then his pants, which once revealed, I would once again be reunited to see that monster-thick cock again. I would only lick the head. I wouldn't suck it just yet. I've sucked it before, this time there would be a twist to the sucking that would make the wait on that worth both our whiles. I would not leave out playing with those balls, and definitely not the ass. His ass I may be on for a while, because that was something I didn't play with so much before. Plus, I am ass-man, and that's what ass-men do with ass - we rim, eat, massage, finger, spank, jiggle, put a hickey on, and of course fuck into oblivion. Did I leave anything out? Because in short, anything we find visually stunning to do to an ass, we ass-men will do. I've done it, and I've had it done to me with some very rewarding results.


The cake has now been left untouched long enough, so it's time to put it to my personal intent for its use.


Now with him there completely naked, I'll start smearing the cake all over his torso, groin, and ass. Preferably some light-colored frosting and whipped cream. I'll use light-colored frosting because he'll be having me, so he has more than enough chocolate to play with by way of my milk chocolate skin and my dark chocolate dick. After the cake is smeared all over him, I'll go back to licking him all over again, but this time it will have some added flavor, as if he isn't tasty enough. If you ever see this guy, you'd know what I mean. This is when I'll spend more time sucking his dick. Then with the cake smear all over his skin by my thorough licking, I'd lay him down on the table and give him what he definitely said he wanted from me the next time he sees me.


When we've chatted since hooking up that great night, while we both admitted to wanting to do each other again, he confided that next time - he wanted me to be the top. And him letting me know that is a thought that has yet to leave my mind. My only concern is that the thought of sticking my hard cock in his asshole that because of his firm & toned musculature, will probably be so tight that it will milk my dick bone dry of cum way sooner than I intend on giving it. Let's hope should come that sweet day, that won't be the case. Because in this fantasy, I want some of that cake frosting smear on him to start melting from his body heat, and even more intense heat when I fuck his ass, so the frosting will start melting on me as well. If this could ever happen, I'd better remember to make shaving my pubes part of the plan.

The whole time fucking him, I would jerk his dick. I would hope I cum first, so I could spend the rest of the time jerk and sucking his dick using the melting frosting as lube, so he could blow a load, and the only signs will be the sounds of his orgasm and the jumping of his shaft muscles squeezing out that cum wad. Now should this happen while sucking him off, because I do recall loving the challenge of sucking his incredibly thick cock, I'll also have as a sign the suddenly salty twang from that cum wad mixed in with the sweetness of the flavor of the light-colored frosting. By the sight of it, I won't be able to tell which part of goo oozed from him.

This would be highly unusual messy sex for me. The most mess I like to deal with in sex is the mess of wiping off a big load of cum off of me. But then again, being some degree of messy should not be a surprise, because even with getting a cumbath, I hate to wipe it off. Seriously. I have yet to do it, but I want to lay there in the bed with his cum all over me, and calling it a done deal. So I can wake up the next morning with my brown skin stained with the dried white chalky remains that are the fruits of his labor when he decided to have sex with me.

So I guess I can be a messy boy. Who knew?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The K Files: The End

When I first started "The K Files", I said that the more that was done to me at that law firm, the more I would reveal of what the "K' stands for. I have come as far as referring to the firm as K & K LLP. That is until now. Due to the fact that as of March 18, 2009, I became no longer employed by K & K LLP, I am now revealing that K & K LLP stands for KENYON & KENYON LLP. Because now, all bets are off.

Please don't tell me that you're surprised. It was only a matter of time before that fateful day came around. And it was for the same reason I was brought into the office before - lateness. What aggravates me about it, is just as I claimed in a previous entry in "The K Files" that my records were singled out. The Human Resources Director brought me into the office checking my keycard for what time I arrived, when I am well aware of other(s) who should have been brought into the office for a reprimand as well, but were not. This is singling me out for my taking a stand when situations are being mishandled.

There are some of you reading this right now thinking that if that's the risk I was taking, then I shouldn't have said anything. And to that, while it sounds cruel, the fact remains that I must say, that's why I love being me, and I am so eternally glad to not be you.

I do understand that some people have families that they must take care of. But how can you look your children in the face knowing that you have a voice that can inspire needed change, yet you lessen your worth as a human being by saying nothing, thereby sacrificing your human rights. What kind of role model are you to your children? And for those who don't want children - fine, then look at it this way. We are all put on this earth to inspire one another to better ourselves. Therefore, if you say nothing in a situation where your fellow person is being wronged, you stand no chance of bettering your co-workers, but more importantly, your superiors. What kind of inspiration will you be to anyone (be they children, friends, or family) if you're playing bobble-head doll? Not a very good one.

Am I upset to no longer be at Kenyon & Kenyon LLP? Most certainly NOT. If I am going to work for a company, I like to have some degree of loyalty to them, and because of how my time as a temp was handled, the loyalty I gave to them when I entered their doors in April of 2002, died after a 2-year wait to become permanent.

Yes, you read correct - a 2-year wait. That's 2 years without any kind of insurance benefits, be it life, medical, and/or dental. And my hard work made me more than deserving of it. As a temp, I learned how to work the machine used to process the mail while the permanent employees who had years on me, sat on their butts not knowing the 1st thing about how to use it. I also quickly committed to memory all the attorneys on all 11 floors of the building, and still kept committing them to memory as they changed over and over again during my nearly 7 years there, with co-workers (both with and without seniority) coming to me to find out where an attorney is located. It got so bad that sometimes I had to snap on them and tell them to look in the directory, because I knew I would not be there forever as their "go-to" guy, so they were going to have to learn all those things for themselves, just as I did for myself.

With all that in mind, is it any surprise that I had no loyalty? Is it a shock that I committed less to memory as time went on? The administrative staff at Kenyon & Kenyon LLP was unappreciative of all we put up with. When I first arrived there, we had a manager who was a blatant racist, and they were inept enough to let his 40+ years there to take anything he said as gospel truth, ignoring our side of the story. Remember as I have said before, "The follower of a fool is a bigger fool than the original". Therefore, if the administrative staff is following the lead of this racist pig, then what does that say about them? Following a guy who when he died, some of my co-workers said they went to his funeral to make sure he was dead. I myself refused to attend, because I knew I would have done the same.

Do not think that I am not taking responsibility for my lateness problem, because I am. One thing I am is that I pride myself on being self-aware of my strengths and weaknesses. Chronic lateness coming about is based on a weakness of mine. For me, chronic lateness is brought about as my mind throws a subconscious monkey wrench into my schedule, and it throws that monkey wrench because the truth is that I don't want to go where I am going. With all that have transpired in "The K Files", can you honestly blame me for not wanting to go there every Monday through Friday morning? While many people I've talked too understand my discontent, and are aware of that HR Director's reputation for inhumanity, the weakness on my part was that I let all that get to me to where my common sense allowed that monkey wrench to make it's way into my morning schedule. That I admit was my faltering, but it doesn't change the fact that if me and my co-workers were treated properly in the 1st place, I wouldn't be justified in my discontent.

The problem is that lateness unwillingly transferred into the part of my life to my prepping for places where I did want to go. Since being thankfully let go from Kenyon, I am now starting to show up on time for things I want to be a part of again. In fact, those of you who follow me on Twitter, may have noticed me recently mentioning my doing a Fu Manchu movie for a friend. The time to be there was 12 noon. What time did I arrive? Me ever so precise got there at 12 noon. I was so proud of myself, because that was one of many recent signs within these past 2 months that shows that being ousted from a place like Kenyon was the best thing for me. Because now, I am getting back to me.

With all that said, I am glad to bid Kenyon & Kenyon LLP "Adieu", and let you know that when it comes to "The K Files", with the most extreme bliss, this as far as I'm concerned is THE END.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Thanks Wanda ---- IDGAF Neither

By now, many of you should be used to me causing a commotion of some kind by some of the things I say. Some people, when they so often cause such a ruckus feel sorry about the fact that they did. I believe that this short bit from Wanda Sykes HBO special "Sick and Tired", best describes whether or not I'm one of those people, AND why such is the case.


video

So those of you who are the faint of heart and/or guilty parties should take this as a warning. Hurting your feelings is not my problem. And as long as a mishandling is being done at mine or my fellow person's expense, I am not going to change from this. The subject matters I have planned to deal with soon with let you further know of how much I plan to back up my words.


I've long loved that bit from that Wanda Sykes special, and have been wanting to use that clip for some time now. With my recently comment appearing in The Advocate, and the steam that is probably coming out of the ears of the head of those studios named in that comment, I decided now was as good a time as any to use that clip to comically explain what motivates me to say the things I say without fear of replies, fear of the infantile studio retaliations you read about, as well as fear of the retaliations gay porn news sites are fully aware of yet sweep under the rug.


For giving me a comical way to explain this, I have to say, THANKS WANDA.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

More Pressing Weekend Matter

Normally with the weekend approaching, this would be a post intended to make you horny as all hell. However, here in New York, there is a much more important matter I must attend to. That being my participating in
It is coming down to the wire here, and I would greatly appreciate you sponsoring me. You can do that by simply clicking on the logo above.

If you don't sponsor me, or someone else, I hope it's because you are walking yourself. If that is the case, I'm sure I can speak on behalf of those in need of the services the AIDS Walk raises money for by giving you a whole-hearted THANK YOU.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Making The Advocate

Last month I made a comment at Advocate.com in response to their article, "Porn Panic!", talking about the effects of the recession on the gay porn industry. It has been told to me by a number of sources now that my comment has made it's way into the print version of The Advocate's June issue. I'm am getting a copy of that TODAY.

Talk about a 2-for-1 deal. I get to see (1)my words in print, and (2)a cutey like Dustin Lance Black on the cover. All for the price of 1 magazine. SWEET!

If you don't read The Advocate, or want to try scrolling down the page of the website to find the comment, I've copied and pasted it for you below:

This may surprise many for me to say this if they don't know of my blog and that I am a porn actor myself, but I have often said on my blog that this recession is causing the big studios justice for the racism and ageism that they've practiced. I shed no tears for them. This is exactly what studios like Falcon, Hot House, Raging Stallion, Lucas Entertainment, etc. deserve for overcharging the sale of a racist product in of all places, the USA. Some studios are trying to use men of color now, for the sheer purpose of tapping in to that customer demographic that they've spent so much time ignoring. My question is that if that plan works, once the recession is over and should business pick up, will they go to their old racist pattern?

The fact that I named names of guilty parties should not be a surprise to you. Nor should it surprise you (just like it doesn't surprise me) that by making that statement, I will be ruffling quite a few feathers amongst these studios and their supporters. After all, let's face it ----- the truth hurts. However, THE TRUTH WOULDN'T HURT IF THEY WERE DOING THE RIGHT THING IN THE 1ST PLACE.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

White America's Slave Fantasy

I've said it here many times how I've noticed that gay non-American White men who like Black guys like the whole spectrum of Black men in color and size, while most Americans have tunnel vision and only take a liking to big, buffed, and dark. Why do you think Diesel Washington is the most popular (if not only) Black man you can name in American gay porn right now? I know Diesel, I think he's a great guy, and have nothing against him. The problem I'm venting about here is with the narrow-mindedness of those gay White American males.

For those Americans who aren't that narrow-minded, you need to make enough noise for the variety of Black men that are in this great country to be presented in not only movies, but American gay media overall.

Some might think that because of my aforementioned statement that I envy Diesel Washington, but the truth is I don't. It's a matter of knowing when the grass only looks greener on the other side, and in all reality is not. Because I had to realize that my popularity in America as a porn actor (whatever level it may be) is based on those Americans who may like the big, buffed, and dark-skinned guys like Diesel, yet like that Black man that doesn't fit that commonly used mold as well. So whether you want to admit it or not, Diesel Washington's success is based on the narrow-minded view by way too many of what makes a beautiful Black man, while my being less popular is based on a more open-minded view of way too few in this country. Looking at it from that prospective, until those narrow-minded gay White Americans get a clue that variety is the spice of life, I'm content with being less popular, because being embraced by an open-minded view is a lot more rewarding to me.

Another thing I'm sure many of those gay White American males I'm complaining about don't want to admit is that liking only that image of big, buffed, and dark-skinned in Black men is a form of racism at play. A form of racism that I don't see as much in non-American White men unless they become Americanized in their thinking, and with racism being a learned behavior, that's how I know it's a problem amongst mainly American White males. The question is "Why?"

I believe that many of our likes and dislikes are based on a subconscious level of thinking, and I feel that so many gay American White males fancying the image of Black men being big, buffed, and dark-skinned like there is no other kind is one of those likes acted on subconsciously. While some subconscious behavior can be based on a good way of thinking, this one is not. For I think the liking of that specific type of Black man by gay White Americans is based on a sort of master/slave mentality.

Before being offended by that statement, I'll explain that after I explain my use of a pic of all people homophobic, Swiss cheese-mouthed, ghetto-trash, 50 Cent.

This pic shows just how diseased that way of thinking has become, because I got it from a White friend on Facebook who is originally from Russia. He has obviously become so Americanized that he posted this pic on his profile and called it, "Portrait of a Man".

Now as promised, I will explain my statement about the master/slave mentality. If you don't want to call it the "master/slave dynamic", for modern times' sake, you can call it the "executive/laborer dynamic". Either way, it's the same principle, because corporate America is predominately White, and many laborers and service people in offices are people of color. The people with their name on an office do little physical work, while the physical work is being done by the laborers and service people. I was one of them, and that was why a gym membership for me was a waste of time, while tmost attorneys sitting in their offices all day needed it - badly. Because when laborers and service people come to work, they work mentally, just like those with their name on an office door. HOWEVER they must work physically as well, and the proof shows in their more fit physiques. This was also the case in the days of slavery, where the end result was lard-ass White slave-masters and Black men with darker skin from the combination of their complete African origin, and so much exposure to the sun, plus a better build from doing all the physical work. Now you have the physical extremes of big, buffed, and dark-skinned explained.

Now, if you are still offended, then it is nothing more than White man's guilt at play. In fact, that guilt may very well be another reason as to why these White Americans seek out a Black man of such intimidating extremes as big and buffed, because EVERYTHING IS LARGER WHEN YOU'RE GUILTY, INLUDING PERCEPTIONS. And for allowing yourself to carry that perception of Black men in your head all these years after slavery, you should feel guilty. But being in self-denial, and getting angry with the truth I'm presenting to you isn't going to change anything.

While it's amazing that the mind can work this way, at the same time for such a dated way of thinking to be passed down through generations the way it has in this country of all places is a shame. A shame that in over 200 years that so many gay White American males have not undone that cycle in their thought of what constitutes a real Black man. If they did, they themselves would finally become men. That's why I've come to the conclusion that it's subconscious thinking that gay American White males might not mean to do it, but they do. The big name porn studios do it in their casting habits, and gay American White males do it in choosing a Black man as a boyfriend, or even a trick. Why do you think so many of the White men I've been with are non-American, yet I'm born and raised here in the USA? I don't seek out non-Americans. It's that non-Americans are the ones more open to my not fitting that generalized view of a Black man propagandized by gay media in America.

My annoyance with the White Americans who continue to have that perception of that specific type of Black being beautiful is not only because it reminds me of my own racism I once had against other Black men. It annoys me because unlike me, these so many White Americans have not done the work on themselves to undo that racist perception, the way I did the work on myself to knock off the racist chip that was on my shoulder. And they need to face the fact, that they're not getting any younger.

I admit to the fact that I am not trained in any mental sciences while coming to these conclusions. And I don't need to be. All it takes is being observant of the world around you. What has happened, and how far have we come from that today. I stood back and watched long enough to see the signs right in front of me get confirmed. Now, it's your turn.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

When Kruezer Cruises Me

Some of you may recall a comment on my post against The Sword.com's Paul Bookstaber calling me "Damon Kruezer-crazy". I had no idea of who Damon Kruezer was, but I do hear that he has a bad reputation. However, since he is following me on Twitter, I thought I'd take the time to check him out.

Something told me that I was on his site somewhere, so I scrolled down the page, and what do you know - I found this:
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WHO IS TRE XAVIER - and WHY IS HE SO UNDER-APPRECIATED and UNDER-REPORTED?
DAMON is impressed with the relevance, IQ level and energy of Xavier's comments on a rival site. We've noticed he always has something of value, interest, or of an entertaining nature to say, whether it's about Poppers or Rupert Everett. Fueled by a passionate concern for the industry and his quest for that elusive goal of legitimacy, Xavier is fully versatile and all natural with no artificial ingredients that I can discern. Xavier is also an excellent performer when he's not commenting or blogging at http://www.tresx-rayvision.com/?zx=d53654725d0dc107. Yet he's barely mentioned- if at all - by my two top competitors, although Jet Set Men's CHRIS STEELE to his credit has been in recent touch with him. Could this have something to do with the fact he's black? Or maybe something to do with the fact he's considered "controversial" by some, something with which we can identify? Whatever it is, DAMON thinks TRE XAVIER is uniquely appealing as a man, compelling as a writer, and is a must-watch in his video scenes. This is our first mention of TRE XAVIER - but we doubt if it will be the last.
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To answer his questions, I believe alot of my not reported on has to do with my being Black. As well as the fact that unlike most porn actors' blogs, I write many things of substance, and don't have a big name studio or agency's press people behind me, like those that push the name of most porn actors with their so common nothing-of-substance blogs to sites like The Sword, Fleshbot, Gay Porn Blog, and the like.

Considering what I've heard and read about him, I still have yet to past judgement on Damon Kruezer. But considering how many of you loyal readers feel about me, I hope you feel in this case at least, he's dead on.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Big-Dicked Degman

This morning I went to my Facebook page and saw a link posted by Andy Towle, author of the blog, Towleroad. The link was to a post on Towleroad about new Armani Exchange model, Kerry Degman. Let me start by saying that Kerry Degman is another guy I am in absolute lust with. I know I said that just last week about FlavaWorks stud, Elmo Jackson. That's the beauty of being in lust - you can be in lust with a gazillion people and there's nothing wrong with it. And with a lust-bucket like me, you know I do lust for a gazillion - at least. And Kerry Degman is definitely one in that gazillion.

I looked at the thumbnail to Andy Towle's Facebook post, and saw this picture of Kerry. And even in the thumbnail, I noticed something that I've often said before about Kerry Degman, but this time, I thought I'd make it public. If you haven't noticed already-----

-----Kerry Degman is packin' some beef in those skivvies. HOT DAMN!!!!

I first noticed this in these other pictures of him. You might notice that Kerry's crotch in the OhLaLaMag pics, and initially in the Armani pics look smooth to the point that you can assume that it's padding.

BUT in the video however, there are points where you can see Kerry has a pretty nice size bulge. Especially after coming out of that water. It's safe to assume that he's also inciting my fetish for hot guys being wet.



This leads me to this question ----Is he a grower or a shower?

How ever big it gets, I'm sure it's a pleasant sight to see. Now if only I could find out if his dick feels as good as I'm sure it looks. After all, the only definites of a big dick is that there's more cock to look at, therefore take in. Whether there's more pleasure to be had however, is not a definite.

Now, this fascination with Kerry Degman's manhood may seem to go against my claim that I am NOT a size queen. And I still stand by that statement, I'm not. I'm just fascinated by cocks in general, and I should list as another definite about big cocks is that there's more to be fascinated by, that's all. I don't have a rule that says a small cock is not allowed to boink my ass. Because based on my experience, of the guys I've been with who have small dicks (and there are a few), only 1 guy made me have to do some serious acting like he was hitting the spot. Acting that I've also done with some guys with 9" or more. And this was before I started doing porn. I guess I always had the talent in me to act like a guy knows what he's doing when in actuality, he doesn't have a clue.

Getting back to Kerry Degman, I don't know anything about his off-camera life, so let's assume he's straight. First of all, I hope he's cool knowing that me and many other gay men look at him wanting what they can't have. Secondly, based on the sensations I've imagined that pipe of his can give, I know the name of whatever girl he lays that pipe into....

....It's Lucky.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Proof-Fucks

When you go to a gay bar or club, don't you get sick of the women trying to push pass you to get to the go-go boy or bartender because they think he's straight? Even though they may be right, isn't it disgusting that straight woman come to a gay bar and behave this way? I mean how desperate can you get?

Well the other day, I came up with a name for these females (not women or ladies). A name that I should have also used in my attacks on gay-for-pay actors and the females who involve themselves with these guys.

I think this one name says it all ---- proof-fucks. It may sound crude, but considering what these females do to themselves, as I will point out, this name does them justice much to my chagrin.

"Proof-fucks" are girls that come in 2 types.

One type of "proof-fuck" is a girl who goes out to gay bar or clubs with the intent of seducing one of the cute straight employees. The problem with this type of "proof-fuck" is that they give their body to a male in order to prove her womanhood to herself. When in reality, in the guy's eye, she is nothing more than a toy that he can play with to prove that he's straight. Furthermore, to add insult to injury, she doesn't prove her womanhood, because a real woman would not feel the need to go to a gay bar to seek out a straight man. A real lady, a real woman knows she's a woman, and has no need to play such games to prove herself. So "proof-fucks" are actually overgrown little girls.

For the record, I personally have no problem with straight men as go-go boys or bartenders, just as long as they stay true to their being straight by not allowing a certain line of physical contact to be crossed. It's not wrong to fantasize about a straight guy, nor is it wrong for him to allow himself to be fantasized about. But it is wrong for him to prostitute his straight orientation with physical acts that clearly say the opposite of his said orientation.

This brings me to the other type of "proof-fuck". I saved this type for last, because they are the worst kind. Their being the worst kind is not my problem. It's theirs, because they are their own worst enemy by getting in to long-term relationships with these guys lying to themselves about how totally straight they are knowing that these guys have sex with men as escorts or as porn actors. The girl being a "proof-fuck" is once again more defined by the guy's actions, because that girl's real purpose is to help him keep up the lie to himself that he's totally straight, using sex with her as the proof. So since she's lying to herself as well by thinking that she's more than a "proof-fuck", it doesn't say much for her character either. In order for these girls to become women they need to realize that just saying, "I got a man", is not the way to completion, because if they're taking up with a guy that's using them this way, then he's not a man to begin with.

Well I guess it's like they say....birds of a feather flock together. In this case - they fuck together.

This actually makes me sad to have to say all this, because I hold women and their intellect in such high regard, and to see so many females who should be considered women, but show actions that show clearly they are not, distresses me. These girls need to get it together, sooner rather than later.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Sex Party Etiquette: Less Talking, More Fucking

At a sex party, the majority of sounds expected to come out of anyone's mouth are moans and groans. If any words are formed, they are expected to be along the lines of "Fuck yeah", "Give it to me", "Oh yeah, that's a tight hole", or "Oh fuck me with your big dick".



And my personal favorite that I did use at that party, "Fuck it hard, because it's yours now. Own that hole!"

Well, I left out some details about what happened at the NY Jock Party I mentioned in my last post. Don't get me wrong, I had some phenomenal sex. It was just that the energy of the guys around me was so off. One of the things I like about a sex party is drawing my energy from my fucking, and hearing so many other guys fucking around me. With my taste fior voyeurism, that makes me wish I could be in 2 places at once. That's usual for this party, but for this one in particular, such was not the case.

I saw guys sporadically fooling around with more clusters not being guys fucking or giving head, but clusters of friends getting together talking. In fact, I joked with the 1st guy I was with that night about how the Girls of The View were annoying the fuck out of me. After me and this guy fucked each other into exhaustion, we laid on the bed. Would you believe the cacklin' hens got so into their confab that they sat down on the foot of the bed and kept talking? Now, it's one thing to talk in a lounging area of the party, but in the area where the sex is going on? These guys had a serious lack of tact.

I told my guy, "Why don't we just bring out a fuckin' coffee table, and make the set complete for them?"

They were really getting annoying. I admit a sex party is a social gathering, but it's not a fuckin' tea party. We could hear their entire conversation. And they weren't laying the groundwork for fucking with their conversation where we were. These guys were gossiping. Now we all gossip, but when you gossip so much that you bring it to a sex party, not in the lounging area, but where the sex is going on, then you some serious issues, because the biggest gossipers you know do it to talk about others so they don't have to deal with themselves. So to bring gossiping to a sex party like that makes me wonder what kind of fucked up lives these guys have. YIKES!

At one point, the cacklin' bitch hens finally moved on. I told my guy that I was glad they moved because I felt like the Bed-Stuy ghetto boy was going to surface where I say, "GIRLS OF THE VIEW - will you please shut the fuck up! People are tryin' to fuck here, because after all, this is a SEX party, not a tea party! So why don't you suck a dick or sumpin' to quiet the fuck down! Now, once again I repeat, please----SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

While I said that the Bed-Stuy ghetto boy was ready to say that, the guy I was with said he was from Nebraska and he was ready to say it. That just goes to show you, this annoyance wasn't only in my mind. It was on the minds of quite a few as I later discovered as I was leaving.

So whoever these hens were, I hope they talked so much missing out on hot sex that their dim-witted asses believe the party wasn't fun and never come back. That is unless they realize it's a sex party, so next time they come, they arrive looking hot, not ready to talk, but ready to moan, and more than anything ready to fuck.



I think being that we are adults, we shouldn't need a sign at a sex party that says, "LESS TALKING, MORE FUCKING".

You have to admit that with guys like the Girls of The View around, it makes you wonder.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Subway Cruisin' - Alas Give In?

I've been having a few precognitive episodes lately. I've always had them, but lately they've been coming like rapid fire. I won't bore you with details of some examples, but here's the latest that relates to this story.

I've been so horny lately that I've thought back to my blog entries about being cruised on the subway, and how I've never went through with either of them. Well, I told myself, "Damnit to hell, if a hottie cruises me in the subway again, he's getting some of this! Some ass, some dick, or both! I'm tired of being a chicken shit letting these chances pass me by."

Well, what happened last night? I got cruised in the subway AGAIN. Did I go through with it? Keep reading to see.

I went to the NY Jock Party, and had a lot of fun. Me and this hottie took turns topping each other. He topped me first doggie-style and fucked me hard. What made that hot for me was that he was about my height with a nice lean frame, and I love it when smaller guys pound your ass so hard you feel like a muscular giant has a hold of you. Then I suddenly felt even harder thrust into my ass. I was wondering what was going on, then when I looked at the shadows on the wall, I could see that another guy joined in and made it a fuck-train by fucking the guy topping me. I did catch a glance at the guy, and he was also a hottie. Where are the porn cameras when you need them?

Later on, this other cute guy either light-skinned Black or Latino came on to me. He asked me what do I like to do, and I told him plenty. So we went to the back, I gave him a blowjob, he sat down, I put a condom on his big cock, then rode the fuck out of him. It got so good he needed to get up, and thrust into me himself. So he bent me over a table, and let me have it. His dick felt so good, for the 2nd time that night I came. I got dressed, and went headed home via subway.

I got in the train station, and when I started walking down the platform, while I do wear glasses, I thought this guy sitting on the stairs was watching me. I didn't stare at him until I got near him to confirm. Instead, I glanced at him when I got right next to him, then looked back when I got behind to find him still looking at me. He was tall, slim, and White. I flashed a smile then kept walking quite a few yards more. When I stopped, I looked back to find that he got up from sitting on the stairs to look at me. I kept exchanging glances and smiles with him, and he slowly, but surely came closer. I started playing a bit of a game of "Catch Me If You Can". We eventually wound up with less than 6 feet between us, with him standing under a stairwell, me behind the yellow line on the platform edge, and us still exchanging glances.

I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was grabbing his crotch. What I didn't realize until later that not only was he grabbing his crotch, but he was upping the ante on the previous guys who cruised me in the subway.

He has his cock out. I saw a thick hot-pink head and cock looking ready, willing, and able to fill already worked ass again. And I've never said it here before, but I am admitting now.... I am a power bottom.

When I bottom, I'm insatiable for dick, and I want his passion thrusting into my hole like a heat-seeking missile rushing to get hit its target and explode. So his big hungry dick would have been another welcomed pole into my ass for the night. When I saw his cock, I didn't know whether to make the adventure be me sucking it on a subway platform at about 4 AM and risk getting caught, OR should I just have let him fuck me right there. Well, his train arrived, and he motioned for me to come with him. So did I alas give in to this subway cruising episode?

I let him go home alone. The big hard dick swollen to sweet hot pink perfection never made its way into my ass. While the horndog that I am is greatly disappointed. My street smarts tells me that I made the right choice.

After all, I did open the lines of communication by saying "Hello", but that was never returned. This here was not the sex party. So if I'm going to hook up with you, we can have an intense physical attraction, but it has to include some verbal communication before that physical connection of your dick to my ass or vice versa takes place.

If I get cruised again, maybe all those wrong moves that I've listed in this and past entries will finally be undone by my suitor, and I'll have a lustful tale to tell. Until then....

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