This is an entry I was seriously debating about posting, because part of me felt it should be left as a private matter. The other part of me felt there was a lesson to be learned for the up-and-cummers wanting to get in the porn industry.
I woke up Thursday morning to find an email in my inbox from none other than - TYSON CANE.
Not a great way to start off one's morning to hear from someone that I've written numerous blog posts about to the extent that it's obvious that he's someone I have no desire to ever associate with again. Yet on Thursday morning, I got this email that reads as follows:
From: TYSON CANE
Subject: TRE this is TYSON CANE CALL ME ASAP
Date: Thursday, August 13, 2009, 8:39 AM
HEY are you mad at me or something I hear you are talking bad about me? What did I do wrong to you? Call me I am starting to shoot soon and I wasthinking about you what is going on with this xxx xxx xxxx TYSON CANE
After much thought, I wrote a reply. I ran in by my good friend, Marc and my forever-wise Mom to see if I said what needed to be said in a proper fashion. After their OKs, I sent him this reply early Saturday evening:
Normally, in situations like this, I would actually call you on the phone. I decided not to call you because I am not going to waste my phone minutes even when I can guarantee you (and more importantly myself) that it would last no longer than 5 minutes, if that.
People in their late teens and early 20's have an eagerness to please their bosses for the sake of acceptance to the extent that they tolerate behavior from their boss that their usual or unearthed self-esteem would NOT put up with. When I first came to you as a model, while I was 34, I was in that mindset of a late-teenager or early 20-something, but being quick to adapt, within a year of dealing with you, I got back to acting my age. This led to my intolerance of the inappropriate behavior you showed not only to me, but some of my scene partners as well.
Who ever told you that I said bad things about you must have left out the specifics, or neglected to direct you to where you can find the list in my numerous blog entries. Such as how you have said things to me and my scene partners that can be hurtful to their sexual ego - a tool necessary for a model to do his job. My being older may have been how I got to the point where my self-awareness of my sexual prowess and self-esteem helped me to tune you out. The problem is you were supposed to be a director, so I shouldn't have to tune you out to do my job. Therefore, what has incited my anger towards you is how your extreme lack in people skills could have led to hurting me, and probably most definitely did hurt my scene partners who were younger, because they might not have the same degree of self-awareness and self-esteem as I.
Maybe you learned to behave this way on the set from directors you worked with in the past. If such is the case, I can guarantee you that no matter how much financial success they may have amassed, it's empty success, so they are fools to go that route. And since I've always said that the follower of a fool is a bigger fool than the original, you were a greater fool to follow their m.o.
I have said enough about you that should you try to be malicious with this reply, it will only confirm what I've said about you, and what others have come forward and agreed with me on. So for your own sake, I hope you are not the same person I had to deal with then. I hope you have seen the error of your ways, and if you have, I wish you the best of luck. But I personally am not up for taking the risk that nothing has changed with you. Therefore, I bid you farewell, and do not reply to this email, because I want no further communication with you. Thank you.
I thought the fate of never hearing from him again was sealed after writing, "My Tyson Cane Finale". Well after this email exchange, you can see that no kind of "revival" is in the works.
Some of you may say that my email shows a great deal of anger. And you would be correct to think so. But I will admit, the anger is not totally at Tyson Cane. Part of it is anger at myself for giving him the chance to prove me wrong against my better judgement. This is the case of most people who seem to be more angry than they should. However, it does make sense when you realize what seems like excessive anger is really the angry person saying, "I'm angry at you, because along with you failing the chances I gave you while hearing voices of caution, you gave me a reason to be mad at myself by proving I should have listened to those voices of caution."
What made me decide to post this after all is the fact that in some of my past post advising those wanting to get into the adult entertainment industry, I have used Tyson Cane as an example of the type of person one should not tolerate. I believe that my sharing this most recent encounter, shows how much I've grown in my dignity since my days of tolerating that bad behavior. Maybe my tale can help those up-and-cummers to possibly avoid the common mistake young people make of being so eager to please their superiors that they tolerate behaviors they shouldn't. Therefore, if telling of this email exchange makes a young person start building their inner-strength now, instead of later, then I've done the right thing by posting this, and I will take solace in knowing that.