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Monday, June 8, 2009

"This Is Why You're Single"

My sex tales here have inspired some to tell me that they live vicariously through me. I have always responded by saying, "DON'T! Live your own life, enjoy the recalling of my sexual encounters, but make your own adventures."

I have often had to say this to guys in relationships. You know how the saying goes - "the grass in always greener on the other side". Well, here's a sex tale that shows how that saying is just that - a saying, and nothing more.

I went to The Cock last Wednesday after having a hell of a good time at the pool party, Drip at The Grace Hotel. It didn't take long, before I found myself being cruised. In fact, one guy came up to me, and just said "Hello". I thought he was cute, and had a nice plump ass. He was quick in making his intentions known, and I was more than receptive especially after seeing all the hotties in speedos and bikinis over at Drip, I was itching to either have a hot guy plow my ass, or plow a hot guy's ass. And while I didn't see this guy at The Cock in a speedo, I knew going home with him would let me see alot more.

He said he wanted to just get naked and cuddle. That's not as far-fetched as it may seem. It has happened, and I've been cool with it. So we left, and got in a cab to go to his place.

Once in the cab, the cab driver ask him if he had cash because the credit card machine wasn't working. My trick replied with the exact words, "Yes, I have cash."

While en route to his place in the cab, he kept kissing me. The problem is - HE COULDN'T KISS FOR SHIT. He was running the edge of his teeth across my face. This was Strike 1 that made me say the title line in my head as if I was saying it aloud to him, "This is why you're single."

Next, after awhile en route, he keeps repeating the street intersection to the cab driver. I intervened and told the guy that he already said that to the cab driver. Realizing what an annoyance this guy could be made me say again in my head - "This is why you're single."

And I'm not done yet about the ride over to his place.
Once there, what does this guy do to pay the cab driver - pull out a credit card. Did the cab driver not say that the credit card machine was broken when we first got in the cab? YES, HE DID. Once the cab driver, and me remind him of this, he goes in his man-purse, and pulls out how much - $4. For a cab ride far from the East Village that it is $19 and change. Who pays for the cab? ME. Now proper etiquette is that since you invited me to your place, you're supposed to pay the fare. With that in mind, this guy was quickly labeled "LOSER", and incite me to say about him once again in my head - "This is why you are single."

Now, that's 3 strikes, so I should have just gave up, but I didn't come all that way to go home horny, even though we were in Manhattan so far north of the East Village that I was less than a 10 minute train ride to my place in the Bronx. But my Aries determination to made me go ahead anyway.

We got to his place. We were going to cuddle, but after some making out, he asked if I wanted him to fuck me. I told him I did. We switched between missionary and me riding his cock. Then at one point his cock slipped out and I gave him a blowjob which got him right back to a hard-on that made him need to fuck my hole, because he didn't want to come any other way. So on my back I went letting him fuck me missionary while I spanked his plump ass. He came, and did what a lot of straight men do ---- rolled over and went to sleep. Be it a trick or someone I'm dating, I'm used to cuddling after sex, so this was new to me. But believe it or not, this didn't inspire me to say those words again in my head.

What happened next did.
He fell asleep then the next thing I heard ---- him snoring. Not just like one big grizzly bear, but a fuckin' chorus of big grizzly bears. THEN I said in my head as if I was saying to him - THIS IS WHY THE FUCK YOU ARE SINGLE!

The snoring was so bad that unbeknownst to me, he had a cat. The way I discovered this cat was because it came to the door and started making noise. But with each snore from the guy, the cat commented with a meow.

Knowing that I put myself in this predicament, I tried suffering through it. I did everything to block out the sound but put a pillow over my head. But nothing worked. Then I realized that after all I went through with this guy, and how he made EVERYTHING before and after the sex, a tale I hate to tell, what I owed him and his ego was NOT ONE FUCKIN' THING. So while he snored his life away on the side of the bed nearest the door, I stepped over him, got dressed and left.

Now, I'm no saint. Nor am I flawless. But at least I know proper social etiquette, and I don't snore. I've had people tell me that they were scared to try waking me, because I slept so peaceful and still they were worried I was dead. And I always reply with, "Why didn't you look at my chest and realize that I was inhaling and exhaling."

So to all of you guys, especially those in committed relationships, be glad for what you have. At least you know already if you're guy's a cheapskate, or if he's snores like a bear. While I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my single life, and the sexual freedom that comes with it, I don't have that stability of those little things that mean alot. And I look at it as fate doesn't want me to have that, at least not right now. I will when I'm ready, as some of you obviously already are.

I am at peace with my present fate as a lust-filled slut, while I greatly admire you for having the discipline it takes to be Mr. Stability. It's why I end my emails with "Keep Being U2B. FREE"

Don't stop.

1 comment:

  1. LOL

    Sadly (very sadly) I can't spend a night with you.

    Fortunately, I have your blog.

    I's not the same, it's not the same as...

    OH!

    ...but it's something.

    Fantastic post!

    ReplyDelete

I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED for your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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