I Wanna Make You Wanna Fuck

I Wanna Make You Wanna Fuck

Sunday, May 10, 2009

White America's Slave Fantasy

I've said it here many times how I've noticed that gay non-American White men who like Black guys like the whole spectrum of Black men in color and size, while most Americans have tunnel vision and only take a liking to big, buffed, and dark. Why do you think Diesel Washington is the most popular (if not only) Black man you can name in American gay porn right now? I know Diesel, I think he's a great guy, and have nothing against him. The problem I'm venting about here is with the narrow-mindedness of those gay White American males.

For those Americans who aren't that narrow-minded, you need to make enough noise for the variety of Black men that are in this great country to be presented in not only movies, but American gay media overall.

Some might think that because of my aforementioned statement that I envy Diesel Washington, but the truth is I don't. It's a matter of knowing when the grass only looks greener on the other side, and in all reality is not. Because I had to realize that my popularity in America as a porn actor (whatever level it may be) is based on those Americans who may like the big, buffed, and dark-skinned guys like Diesel, yet like that Black man that doesn't fit that commonly used mold as well. So whether you want to admit it or not, Diesel Washington's success is based on the narrow-minded view by way too many of what makes a beautiful Black man, while my being less popular is based on a more open-minded view of way too few in this country. Looking at it from that prospective, until those narrow-minded gay White Americans get a clue that variety is the spice of life, I'm content with being less popular, because being embraced by an open-minded view is a lot more rewarding to me.

Another thing I'm sure many of those gay White American males I'm complaining about don't want to admit is that liking only that image of big, buffed, and dark-skinned in Black men is a form of racism at play. A form of racism that I don't see as much in non-American White men unless they become Americanized in their thinking, and with racism being a learned behavior, that's how I know it's a problem amongst mainly American White males. The question is "Why?"

I believe that many of our likes and dislikes are based on a subconscious level of thinking, and I feel that so many gay American White males fancying the image of Black men being big, buffed, and dark-skinned like there is no other kind is one of those likes acted on subconsciously. While some subconscious behavior can be based on a good way of thinking, this one is not. For I think the liking of that specific type of Black man by gay White Americans is based on a sort of master/slave mentality.

Before being offended by that statement, I'll explain that after I explain my use of a pic of all people homophobic, Swiss cheese-mouthed, ghetto-trash, 50 Cent.

This pic shows just how diseased that way of thinking has become, because I got it from a White friend on Facebook who is originally from Russia. He has obviously become so Americanized that he posted this pic on his profile and called it, "Portrait of a Man".

Now as promised, I will explain my statement about the master/slave mentality. If you don't want to call it the "master/slave dynamic", for modern times' sake, you can call it the "executive/laborer dynamic". Either way, it's the same principle, because corporate America is predominately White, and many laborers and service people in offices are people of color. The people with their name on an office do little physical work, while the physical work is being done by the laborers and service people. I was one of them, and that was why a gym membership for me was a waste of time, while tmost attorneys sitting in their offices all day needed it - badly. Because when laborers and service people come to work, they work mentally, just like those with their name on an office door. HOWEVER they must work physically as well, and the proof shows in their more fit physiques. This was also the case in the days of slavery, where the end result was lard-ass White slave-masters and Black men with darker skin from the combination of their complete African origin, and so much exposure to the sun, plus a better build from doing all the physical work. Now you have the physical extremes of big, buffed, and dark-skinned explained.

Now, if you are still offended, then it is nothing more than White man's guilt at play. In fact, that guilt may very well be another reason as to why these White Americans seek out a Black man of such intimidating extremes as big and buffed, because EVERYTHING IS LARGER WHEN YOU'RE GUILTY, INLUDING PERCEPTIONS. And for allowing yourself to carry that perception of Black men in your head all these years after slavery, you should feel guilty. But being in self-denial, and getting angry with the truth I'm presenting to you isn't going to change anything.

While it's amazing that the mind can work this way, at the same time for such a dated way of thinking to be passed down through generations the way it has in this country of all places is a shame. A shame that in over 200 years that so many gay White American males have not undone that cycle in their thought of what constitutes a real Black man. If they did, they themselves would finally become men. That's why I've come to the conclusion that it's subconscious thinking that gay American White males might not mean to do it, but they do. The big name porn studios do it in their casting habits, and gay American White males do it in choosing a Black man as a boyfriend, or even a trick. Why do you think so many of the White men I've been with are non-American, yet I'm born and raised here in the USA? I don't seek out non-Americans. It's that non-Americans are the ones more open to my not fitting that generalized view of a Black man propagandized by gay media in America.

My annoyance with the White Americans who continue to have that perception of that specific type of Black being beautiful is not only because it reminds me of my own racism I once had against other Black men. It annoys me because unlike me, these so many White Americans have not done the work on themselves to undo that racist perception, the way I did the work on myself to knock off the racist chip that was on my shoulder. And they need to face the fact, that they're not getting any younger.

I admit to the fact that I am not trained in any mental sciences while coming to these conclusions. And I don't need to be. All it takes is being observant of the world around you. What has happened, and how far have we come from that today. I stood back and watched long enough to see the signs right in front of me get confirmed. Now, it's your turn.

22 comments:

  1. i'm white, have dated many types of guys, but more black guys of late, and i think you are right on most counts. Do keep in mind not all american white guys who date black guys think that way, but the fact is far more of us have underlying racism that is usually acknowledged.

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  2. First off, I'm glad to see someone sign a comment with the name "Anonymous" and not be infantile in what they have to say.

    Second, and most important, I am well aware that not all White American guys feel this way. That's why I made the constant point of saying words like "most", and "many", and stating those that don't feel that way need to make more noise to the powers that be. I am VERY careful in my wording to avoid offending those who should not be chastized.

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  3. I agree with your conclusions. But I also feel that we've all got a little bit of racist stereotypes and motivations practically buried in our DNA.

    Yes, I'm sure there are some white guys who, consciously or unconsciously, fall into that master/slave trap. I'm sure there are black guys who do it as well.

    I personally dated a blond haired blue eyed guy, and found my mind, in the throes of wild sex, drifting to that slave thing -- as if I'd crept from the fields into the big house and was tapping the master's teenage son royally. Actually, it was a very thrilling fantasy, one which I didn't share with my pale companion. For all I know, he was having a fantasy of his own.

    I say this to say -- all of us, black, white & purple, are damaged from the legacy of slavery and sometimes act out accordingly. Though its something we should all be aware of, in most cases I don't think it is a reason for anger.

    I mean, when I had my fantasy, did it make me a bad person? A racist? A snow queen? No, none of the above. I was just Taylor banging someone who I may have considered unattainable in some part of my subconscious -- and enjoying it immensely.

    I also have Asian fantasies too, and have been accused of fetishizing Asian men. Whatever. Sometimes people think too much.

    We should give everyone a little leeway on this issue. A little fantasy never hurt anyone, but it might be best to keep the details of it to yourself. ;-)

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  4. Taylor,

    While I appreciate someone of your reputation commenting on my blog, I have to say that unless I'm misunderstanding a part of your comment, I'm a bit bothered by something.

    The legacy of slavery is something we should be aware of and in most cases SHOULD definitely be a reason for anger. I'd like you to tell that statement to a Jewish person about the legacy of the Holocaust.

    If the legacy of any historic atrocity halts the broadening of a perception of a people (not just their outer beauty), then it is a JUSTIFIED reason for anger.

    Now, if this response shows that I'm misunderstanding what you said, please explain further. Thank you.

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  5. By legacy of slavery, I mean the effects it has on black people to this very day AND the effects it has on white people as well.

    By no means am I diminishing the suffering of Blacks in America in this regard, but for the purposes of this issue, possibly fetishizing the exotic "other", we're all equally guilty.

    For every white gay man with a big black buck fantasy, I'll give you a black gay man with a corresponding desire. Like I said, in my humble opinion, we're all damaged.

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  6. You're right for every white gay with the big black buck fantasy there is a black gay with a corresponding desire. The problem is whatever color, the ones indulging in this fantasy are not the damged ones. Those males (Black or White)who see that ugly hsitory therefore don't entertain that fantasy are NOT damaged. We have overcome it.

    I admit that I am not perfect and do have my issues. But as in most cases, I would greatly appreciate not being lumped into the same pile as everyone else. Because we are not ALL damaged like you said.

    The one time that justifies use of the word "ALL" is when discussing the fact that we are all most definitely EFFECTED by slavery, but not all damaged by it. Some like myself have undone that damage to their psyche. That's why my eyes are open enough that I can make my statement with this post.

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  7. There's another point to all this. I agree that the American white male has a particular fascination with a certain type of Black man that is not shared by Europeans; maybe because those Europeans were not slave owners. I'll explain a bit since you mention corporate America. It has been studied that the more powerful the exectuive, the more he harbors a secret desire to be dominated, hence a liking for a particular type. Right or wrong? Who can say, but it makes for an interesting self and societal analysis if one wants to try. As for me, I see color only in the most obvious way. That is, I visually recognize a difference but it has no more meaning to me than noticing the color of someone's shirt. It's always the sexiness of the individual and not a type they fall into that gets my attention.

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  8. Surprised that no where in this conversation is there a mention of Scott Poulson-Bryant's "Hung." Came out about three years back.

    Secondly, not yet convinced that the biggest problem facing black gay men is the "buck" myth. It annoys sure, but I can think of other things that deserve our attention.

    peace

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  9. James,

    You obviously need to complain. If you're not complaining about what book I didn't read (that I don't NEED to read to make MY observations), you're complaining about the degree of importance of a problem I'm addressing.

    I never said it was the bigget problem, but it is a big problem nonetheless, due to the fact that ANY short-sighted perception effects the progress of us as a nation. In America, Black and White relations as a whole are NOT where they should be, and the "buck" myth is part of the reason why. It is not the whole problem, but it is part of it, and for that, it is one of many things that deserve our attention.

    Now in closing, (1)you end your comment with "peace", which if I'm to take that seriously, it should be capitalized; (2)if you really want peace, find the peace within yourself to stop your unneccesary complaining.

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  10. "You obviously need to complain."

    I was under the assumption we were having a conversation, sharing ideas. But I guess unless I'm telling you how profound you are, then I'm complaining. Okay.

    "It is not the whole problem, but it is part of it, and for that, it is one of many things that deserve our attention."

    I would bring up a book to question this comment, but that would be complaining (grin).

    peace (grammar was never my strength...smile)

    James

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. James,

    I have disagreed with readers before, and did feel I was having a conversation with them while disagreeing. Right in this very post, Taylor Siluwe is a pefect example. In your comment however, that was not the case, and I clearly pointed out why. If you cannot handle that, that is on you.

    And for the record, I don't need you to tell me how profound I am. I am self-confident enough in my stands to appreciate someone saying it to me, but I don't NEED it said to me.

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  13. Oh lord. Okay. If you insist. I can't handle criticism, but you of course can because you are all self-confident! One day I hope to be like you.

    But until that time (which will never happen of course because my self-confidence isn't like yours) check out Hung. It might add some light to your ideas. Or maybe not.

    peace

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  14. James,

    Don't be me - be you.

    As for my annoyance with you suggesting that book, I don't need to run to someone else's thoughts to shed light on this matter, because I am writing something about MY OWN observations.

    The problem with so many people is that they are so pathetically dependent that they can't even have a complete thought on their own. Your initial comment is a clear example of you advising me to lower myself to that dependence.

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  15. "Don't be me - be you."

    Thanks Oprah. Any other advice you want to share? LOL

    As for you getting funky about a book suggestion, I'm going to let that go. Jeesh, if you think a book suggestion is being "pathetically dependent" then there is not much else to say to that anti-intellectual mess.

    Be well. Good luck.

    peace

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  16. What an excellent post - and something to think about.
    I am a New Zealand man of European descent. I have had, for the longest time, a 'crush' on people of non-European descent, particularly those of African background.
    And I have spent the latter 5-7 years struggling to reconcile that attraction with what outwardly looks like a 'racism' of attraction. A long time ago, I realised that it wasn't a simple matter of being attracted to the hypermasculine African image, because - as you point out - there are a LOT of people who are sexy as heck, and don't fit that mould. Don't get me wrong... those gentlemen who are built big, and hung to match are very sexy, but there are plenty of other fish in that sea, and I set my nets wide.
    My background is in science - I am analytical in nature, and have a Ph.D. in biochemistry... and have come to somewhat of a conclusion that these attractions are inbuilt - or at least hard-wired into the psyche. I can't change my attraction to people of colour any more than I can change my attraction to men for one of women. It is what I am, it's built into me.
    Why? Christ only knows... and he's not telling me.
    And I don't know that it will ever be something that can be identified.
    In the meantime, you have shed a very welcome ray of light from the other direction... what those who are of coloured heritage think about the reverse.

    I shall continue to read, re-read, and ponder your thoughts. Please, continue to write on the subject!

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  17. One of the best fucks I ever had was when the hot beefy black black guy I was fucking started moaning "Fuck your nigger,yeah, fuck your nigger". Do I feel guilty about enjoying it? Nope, I like to get off w/ hot men of any race and there are plenty who would fault us just for fucking at all. Some people just look for misery on this planet and thats what they get. BTW the nigger and I do it on a regular basis.....

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  18. Anonymous,

    No one cares about you and your insignificance where you are not man enough to give a name to stand behind what you say. Nor do they they care about you and the ghetto trash you have regular hook-ups with. After all, if he lowers himself to being called "nigger", then all he is just that - DISPOSABLE ghetto trash, and you are no better.

    Furthermore, as much as you claim that you don't feel guilty, you actually do, as your irrelevant selves know you should be. Your irate response clearly shows that I hit a nerve by calling you on your shit. So be a man, grow a real pair of balls and deal with it.

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  19. Also Anonymous,

    I can't help but suspect that you are S. Sparling from my post "Sex, Then Violence Resurrection". You see, some of your comment is exactly what was said to me in that argument that night. So if you are S. Sparling, GET A LIFE! I JUSTIFIABLY slapped the shit out of you. Deal with it and move on.

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  20. LOL. I knew you wouldn't let that anonymous nut off the hook. You go boy. I agree with you. He threw around that N word with way too much ease.

    But anonymous trolls are everywhere. Screw 'em.

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  21. Hi !! I think that genetic differences has its own attraction. Different is erotic.

    But I agree that in the US culture, theres a lot of violence and wrong mind sets. I´m south american, and we have many wrong things into our cultures, but not that. The probe of that is the level of mixed races here.

    Things changes. Don´t forget.

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I HIGHLY respect those willing to stand behind their comments with a name. So if you use "Anonymous" on a viewpoint that challenges mine, IT WILL BE DELETED for your cowardice to not show yourself makes your viewpoint and you irrelevant.

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