I'm sure after one of my most recent post about "gay-for-pay", I'm sure that I was on quite a few of your minds. Even my friend and fellow blogger, Ka-os wrote a post about another friend's blog, MOC Blog giving a humorous play-by-play of the minutes of the Tyra Banks show where she featured the topic of "straight" men working "gay-for-pay". One of the guest on the show was Kurt Wild, who ignorance I have criticized before, and Ka-os mentioned in his post of how he would have preferred to see ME interviewing Kurt Wild, instead of Tyra Banks.
And I must admit, I couldn't agree more. In fact, Victor Hoff of MOC Blog suggested that I try to get an interview with Kurt Wild. Well considering what I'll say about Kurt Wild and all of these guys as you read on, the challenge-loving Aries that I am would not walk away satisfied from the interaction.
While I am a fan of the Tyra Banks Show, I was a bit disappointed by the way this turned out. For starters, she admitted to not knowing of the term "gay-for-pay". With that being the case, she should not have used to counter-attack the attitude of being "gay-for-pay is A.O.K" with people with the "Porn is bad! Porn is bad" mentality. Instead, they should have had people within the industry like myself to counter-attack the ignorance of these "gay-for-pay" actors. You see, I'm not say that porn is soooo good, but when done right, it's not soooo bad. But bringing these gay-for-pay actors into the fold and promoting that behavior is a time when porn is bad.
Let's say that they might have tried that, but couldn't find any gay/bi porn actors honest enough with themselves YET HAVE A BIG ENOUGH PAIR OF BALLS to express their malcontent about the "gay-for-pay" genre. If that is the case, with the strong words that I've written in this blog on this matter, it's obvious that her producers didn't look hard enough. Because I should not have been at home watching Kurt Wild, Aaron James, and Dean Coxx spewing their dim-witted bullshit. Instead, I should have been right there, confronting them face-to-face so I could have returned the serve of that bullshit (like in a good tennis match) with an aim to make sure it splattered all over their faces.
There are way too many examples I can give of the stupidity that came from each one of these guys, but I'll narrow it down to one example from each.
Is it just me, or is Kurt Wild the stereotypical dim-witted hick? Here is a so-called "straight" man who can't give you a straight answer. Tyra asked him what will he tell his kids when they grow up and discover this about him. He can't give a straight answer. He also goes on to say that he doesn't want them or anybody to do porn. THEN HELLO, why are you doing it? Do bills have to be paid in these hard times? Yes, they do. BUT do you ever sacrifice something as sacred as your sexual identity? NO, you shouldn't, UNLESS you're dumb enough to not hold it sacred. Which is 1 way that shows that him and all the others are full of shit. As for my "stereotypical dim-witted hick" comment, I have friends from the Midwest and the South, and the reason they are my friends is because they are not that negative stereotype that Kurt showed himself to be. In addition, if I seem more hard on Kurt with the name-calling, it's because I don't care about the ignorance of him or his fiancee for putting up with it. They're supposed to be adults who can defend themselves. However, the 3 children and 1 on the way are defenseless against what their parents denial will cause them in the long run.
Aaron James asked who is he hurting. I could have easily answered that question. In fact, I've already answered it in past blog posts before he even asked it on the show. His being a "gay-for-pay" performer hurts all those young gay men who are looking to porn as not the only source, but 1 source to help them figure out their sexual identity that they might not be sure of. After all, most males, no matter what their orientation use porn as a guide to realizing who they are sexually. The person watching initially feels (as they should) that to appear happy by going through the motions of living the more socially acceptable "straight" life while living a secret life as a gay man is wrong. So what is Aaron doing that's so wrong? He makes it appear that it's OK to do so. It's OK to live the double life, instead of taking the steps to once and for all find out who you really are - be you straight, gay, or even bi - and live by that fully. "Gay-for-pay" porn actors make it seem like why should you make that effort? And I answer by saying that not making that effort is torture. It is why I was suicidal for almost 15 years of my life. If gay-for-pay was as popular now as it was the 7 years ago when I came to my sexual revelation about myself, then that sexual revelation would have never come. Along with forced religious convictions, the carelessness and greed of "gay-for-pay" actors, producers, directors could have possibly stalemated me. So the confusion from all combined that I would have still been lingering in may have very well killed me. And my concern is for those who are now at the point of discovery that I was back then.
Dean Coxx didn't say enough to get as much of a harsh critique as the other two. My annoyance with Dean is his claiming he's 100% straight makes him part of the problem the same way as Aaron James. After all, he has resorted to taking a cock in his ass, and sticking his cock in another man's ass. Then bust a nut when all is said and done. Am I missing something here? I think not.
This brings me to comment on the women in their lives. What is wrong with them? First off, all these guys say that they tune themselves out when doing a scene. What self-respecting woman wants a man who does that. To these women I must make them realize that if he can claim to do that with a guy because being straight is more socially acceptable, then what's to stop the possibility that he is really tuning you out when he's with you?
Plus the last time I checked, one of the most mentally stimulating things anyone would look for in a potential mate is that potential mate knowing themselves. Now if you must play parent or teacher, as these women are obviously doing by putting up with these guys, then you have a self-esteem issue that makes you need to be needed, instead of desiring to be desired - sexually, as well as emotionally, and mentally.
For instance Dean Coxx fiancee putting up with his denying his possible bi-sexuality. People don't realize how important sexual identity is to one's character. And denying it to any degree has terrible consequences. May I recall "gay-for-pay" porn actors now with a criminal record, Mark Dalton, Marcus Allen, Nickolay Petrov, and Double R. I'm not saying Dean Coxx is going to beat the tar out of anyone, but that denying of himself can cause him to snap one day to the point of self-ruin.
Now in Aaron James case, his (recently) ex-girlfriend putting up with his "gay-for-pay" life even though she had a problem with it is a classic case. I believe subconsciously, she knew she was doing herself an injustice by being with someone who was so in denial of himself. But I believe the reason she broke up with him when he decided to do the Tyra Banks Show is because she didn't want that injustice to herself known to the public at large, and I don't blame her. To go back to Aaron asking "How am I hurting anyone?"
My response is "Look at your newly ex-girlfriend? That's how!"
If you're wondering why I'm not talking about the straight bartenders working in the gay bars is because that was another flaw I felt was made in the choice of guests. Sean Kennedy whining about why are they working in gay bars was ridiculous. It would have been something to complain about if they were straight and rude to their gay clientele, but they seem to be successful at what they do because they are not rude. Sean Kennedy's complaint was stereotypical gay over-dramatizing in my book because, while Sean Kennedy was saying that gays go there to have a place to be amongst their own, and not be judged, he's forgetting these bartenders role in the bar. THEY ARE NOT PATRONS, therefore they are not part of the social scene seeking that place to be amongst their own. They are bartenders - whose jobs is to respectfully serve the patrons without bias and without compromising their certainty of who they are, and I believe these guys do that. Meanwhile, the "gay-for-pay" porn actors do not, because from what those bartenders say, they don't go against their claim of being straight by boinking a guy or getting boinked by another guy.
As I always try to give credit where credit is due, because one of the few wise things Aaron James said in response to this was how we all have to live in this world together. And I repeat, as long as these straight men as bartenders serve their gay clientele respectfully, then let them work there. Anyone who has a problem with that, like the Sean Kennedy's of the world (like whoever on Tyra's staff thought that these bartenders belonged on that panel) show that this particular problem lies within the complaining patrons.
After what I wrote a couple of weeks ago, I didn't think I could stomach watching this episode of Tyra. Well I got through it, and it didn't make my blood boil as it may seem. It was more like an annoying buzz of a stupid fly you need to squat because it's intruding upon your territory. In this case, the presence of these gay-for-pay actors intrudes upon the pride I have in being honest enough with myself and you to say that I am a predominately gay bisexual, and my gay predominance has been proven to you in 8 features so far. And those few who have seen me at sex parties, and had one-night stands with me know that a dollar doesn't rule my predominately gay behavior. Nor will it ever rule my straight behavior, and that's the way it should be.