I have said before that I am very territorial. Any thing that warrants me proceeding it with the word "my" I am very protective of. And that definitely includes my space.
In clubs, one's personal space seems to often be invaded, especially if you're someone considered good-looking, which is probably why I seem to notice more and more good-looking men saying that they hate the club scene. I recently had a couple of incidents that I'd like to share with you, that put me on the verge of getting quite nasty. Both of these instances happened at Splash in NYC.
One night I went out, and before I started dancing, I noticed this thin guy about my height coming up behind guys and dancing up on them. After I started dancing, he made his way towards me, and I just kindly walked away to another part of the dancefloor leaving him behind. Later on however, he seemed that when it came to me, he wasn't taking "NO" for an answer. First off, instead of coming up behind me, he got right in my face. That invasion of my space immediately made my blood boil. I tried backing away from him, and he just kept repeating to me, "Show me what you got! Show me what you got!"
I politely put my hand on his chest and slowly pushed him away from me. But like I said, he felt my saying "NO" was not an option. That foolishness almost became his undoing. He came at me again. This time I grabbed his arm, and pushed him away from me. Not saying a word, but I know there was a fire in my eyes that covered the heinous fantasies that were about to justifiably become reality in he kept pushing the issue. He then said, "I don't want to fight you - just dance."
I finally open my mouth and said, "I don't want to dance. So if you don't want to fight, walk away."
He then started yelling at me while backing away, "You've got nothing! You've got nothing!"
I really didn't give a flying fuck what he yelled at me, as long as he did it while moving away from me. You see, I haven't struck another human being in more than 20 years. Now take into account the things that have made me angry enough to hit someone that I've written about in this blog, PLUS the things I don't tell you about from my past and present day job, my school days, my ghetto trash neighbors, etc. All that in a 20 year span. What kind of force would come from a punch with that much physically unreleased anger behind it. Not to mention that many bigger guys notice that I am already pretty strong for my small size. A punch from me on that thin guy could have not only sent him flying like a cartoon character, but caused him some serious physical damage. And that was my fear. My losing control making all that aggression physically reaching the surface causing a disaster. A disaster that if he only respected people's space, the possibility of it happening would have never existed.
The other instance was just last night. I was dancing and this short chubby guy next to me facing my side decides he wants to dance with me. What's the problem? He grabs me first. I never turned in his direction to make eye contact which anyone having knowledge of proper etiquette would know is how to check for an invitation into someone's space, especially if you plan to touch them. Maybe they knew who I was. Maybe they were fans. Fans or not, my space should have been respected by them presenting themselves in the respectable manner of eye contact, not physical. BUT to make things worst, since I ignored his friend, his taller buddy dancing behind him yells to me, "Yo!"
I turned to my right, looked the 2 of them up and down, then turned my head back forward and went back to my dancing in my own little world. Because when I heard that "Yo!" I was on the brink of exploding, because this scene was giving me flashbacks to the aforementioned situation with the thin guy. It was soooo on the tip of my tongue to tell that guy, "Bitch! You uncouth ghetto trash sack of shit, who in the FUCK are you yo-in'?"
The problem was that I knew that if I said anything, my verbal violence would have eventually led to physically violence at any given moment.
By the grace of God, my annoyance over this was taken away moments later by the unexpected arrival of Vin Nolan and Sergio Anthony. We hung out together for a bit. I got to see Sergio's new tattoo and his tanline near his ass from being away in Mexico. That sight definitely brought to to think ,"Annoyances? What annoyances?" But since today is back to reality, before I go further I must say to Vin and Sergio -
Thanks guys, you helped a great deal.
So I close by asking any of you who may have done these sort of intrusions into someone's space at one time or another, is the possibility of someone violently defending their personal space worth that dance you're trying to force them into? Is invading someone's space really worth risking a black eye, bloody lip, broken nose, or worst? Think about that next time you try a move like that.