For years, I was often quick-tempered, and flew off the handle when people did me wrong. Since then, I have matured with my tolerance level enough to make it like go more like baseball - 3 strikes, you're out. That also pertains to my expressing my dislike about something not being handled as it should.
I have long wanted to address the issue of "gay for pay", but put it off for reasons I'll get into later. So here is the list of strikes as to why I am addressing the matter now:
Strike 1- My feeling on the issue in a nutshell is that for the most part, I HATE IT, especially after doing "Love of the Dick 4" for Pitbull Productions.
Strike 2 - I went to The Cock this past Wednesday night where Rentboy. com was having an event, and as they were bringing some of the Rentboys on stage they asked them a question. One of the Rentboys was Victor Steele from Raging Stallion's upcoming movie GRUNTS. I forgot the question he was asked, but I can't forget his answer because I was in such concurrence with it. He said, "I am so over these straight boys doing gay porn." And the final straw of me biting my tongue came in the form of -
Strike 3 - I was reading a blog entry by Lucas Entertainment Exclusive Jonathan Vargas that he posted Thursday night expressing how he didn't want to do a scene with one of the possible scene partners, Jimmy, because the guy is straight. And I'm sure that as I express my reasons for not liking the "gay for pay" route, you'll find many of his reasons to be the same as mine.
So with my personal feelings on the issue being Strike 1, and Strikes 2 and 3 showing themselves within less than 24 hours of each other, I decided that it's time for Tré Xavier to make some long overdue noise about this.
I have always been curious about working for a "gay for pay" actor, and I finally learned the meaning of the saying, "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." I learned early on after arriving for shooting my scene for "Love of the Dick 4" that my scene partner Double R was straight. No one told me. It was conversations I heard around me that filled me in. For the scene, we were actually watching straight porn. Now, I like straight porn, but this one was doing nothing for me. But it was more to help him out. With circumstances like this, I am proud of how the scene came out. But it doesn't have much to do with Double R. It's me being proud of myself considering the back spasm I was recovering from, and how I livened up the scene for myself with my dirty talk. If it seems that I'm patting myself on the back, I am. Because how much life is there in a gay porn scene if all physical contact is to serve the top, and none for the bottom? Unless the viewer is a sadomasochist, not much life at all.
Plus, on most gay porn sets with real gay actors, we physically interact with each other before and in between takes. Touching each others' bodies, jerking each others' cock, kissing, fluffing each other. About the only one of those things that did happen during the filming of "Love of the Dick 4" was the fluffing. And it was me fluffing him. He didn't fluff me at all. And in addition, at one point while I was fluffing him, he wanted me to move my head out of the way so he could see the movie playing on the TV screen. If that was a 2 real gay porn actors, most likely there would be no need for a movie, because the attraction to each other would have been all the motivation they needed.
Now I in no way hold a grudge against Pitbull Productions for the discomfort I felt on the set. They didn't know because they are the producer and director, not the actor. And sometimes even on your regular job, you may from time to time need to let your superiors know your discomfort in a situation, even if it seems like something they should know would make you uncomfortable. Hence the reason I am writing this blog entry. This is my way of letting them know.
So my fellow actors, feel free to past this blog along to the producers and directors you have or plan to work for.
In case you didn't know, I've done blogging for Pitbull Productions' ThugPornBlog.com. And when I decided to write this entry, expressing my feelings on the "gay for pay" issue that I was repressing out of my loyalty to them, I wrote them an email to say that I wouldn't blog for them anymore, so I wouldn't express my feelings here about situations they've put me in unaware of my great discomfort), yet still write great blog entries for them. That would be me being a hypocrite. But they actually understood that I have my view on the matter, apologized for my discomfort, and asked me to stay on board. So you can still read blogs from me at ThugPornBlog.com.
As I thought deeper about this matter, I wondered why do the porn studios hire these guys? Because for the most part, let's get real - how can a man getting off while fucking a man call himself totally straight? The texture of a man's skin is different than that of a woman's. Therefore, the studios are hiring guys who are not being honest with themselves, and because most of these guys have a "no touch until film rolls" or "fluff me, but I won't fluff you" policy, they cause they're scene partners who are actually gay to fend for themselves in getting aroused. Now, on a regular job, if an employer discovers an interviewee to not be honest with him/herself regarding something about themselves, then that person doesn't get hired, because that employer knows that that person's dishonesty with him/herself is going to cause some kind of friction or tension that halts production.
I don't believe most studios are aware of those of us actors who are actually gay feeling that way. Many won't express their sentiments out of fear of never working again, because they may come off as being "difficult". And my feeling is that if trying to make the best gay porn scene I can by showing gay men being honest about their sexuality makes me "difficult", then that producer and/or director is beneath me, and I have no desire to work for them. After all, you need to have the self-respect to draw the line somewhere.
There are some rumored "gay for pay" actors that pull off a scene very well. Barrett Long, Jason Crew, Rod Barry, and most recently Nickolay Petrov. YES, the same Nickolay Petrov who I said I would love to be the bottom in a gang bang for. So if I'm against "gay for pay" why would I choose him? I chose him because like Barrett Long, Jason Crew, and Rod Barry, Nickolay Petrov fucks a man's ass with so much passion, that he makes you wonder, "Is he really straight, or is he just refusing to call himself bisexual?"
And what is so wrong with being bi with a straight preference, and using your appearances in porno movies and events as a way to let out whatever part of you that is gay? Nothing at all.
Now I am not in these guys heads, so I can't really say that is the case with any or all of them. I do recall Rod Barry once saying in an interview that he wasn't straight or gay, he is just a freak, and that he could get off fucking a 2 x 4. For that much honesty we can applaud Rod Barry. And I applaud all of them for enjoying the pleasures of sex with both genders, like when I saw Barrett Long and Jason Crew fuck a woman right in front of me. How that came about is a tale kept between only those who were there - the participants and the witnesses like myself.
Now being that I have met both Barrett and Jason, and seeing their prowess in action, I would love to get into their heads and learn more about how they truly define their sexual selves, instead of what I've heard in magazines and on websites. I would like to hear it directly from them because it's their mind.
In closing, YES many gay men fantasize about sex with a straight guy. But what I feel many porn producers and directors who use these "gay for pay" actors need to realize is that there are some fantasies that no matter how hard you try, you just can't bring them to life. Because the reality is that totally straight men don't fuck men. At least not with the passion that most of these guys fuck each other on sites like Sean Cody and Corbin Fisher. I've seen scenes from both Corbin Fisher sites, Amateur College Men (gay porn) & Amateur College Sex (straight porn), and most of these guys fuck a man's ass with just as much passion as they fuck a woman's pussy. Therefore these sites are perpetrating a fraud that only the weak-minded who can't face the aforementioned reality buy into.
So with that in mind, my motto regarding working with "gay for pay" models is this:
If you can't be honest with yourself about your sexual sway, do not bring yourself my way.