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Friday, December 28, 2007

Un Ballo In Maschera

This is where I'll be ringing in the new year. Why don't you join me?

And since this is my last blog entry for the year 2007, it is the prefect time that I tell you -

Once again, you all have helped to make this a great year for me. Your support through my accomplisments and disappointments show me how truly blessed I am. I hope you show up at this party so I can at the least give every one of you a kiss of thanks. And if you don't show, then whatever you do -

Have a SAFE, therefore FUN & HAPPY NEW YEAR
from beginning to end.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

My Tyson Cane Finale - Part 2

If by any chance you can't read those words highlighted, they say"...I run a pilot program where models can learn behind-the-camera."

When I saw this my brain immediately flashed back to my telling him about telling my Mom I do porn, and how he didn't think it was a good idea unless I planned on taking it further by directing or owning my own company. And how when I confirmed that was something I was considering for my future, he said, "You 're not aggressive enough."
I immediately composed an email that I waited until the next day to send, because for touchy matters such as this, I look my emails over and over again to make sure I conveyed my message properly by not being too abrasive, and showing the right degree of diplomacy. The final draft that Tyson Cane received was as follows:
Tyson,

I received a copy of GAYVN in the mail recently, and I read in it a section about you. It stated you saying, ".....I run a pilot program where models can learn behind-the-camera".

Please try to recall this conversation that I recently brought up in my most recent blog:
One day on the set of “The Interview”, I had a conversation with Tyson Cane and vented to him that I was coming close to telling my Mom about my doing porn. ......
His advice was him asking me, why would I want to do that to her. Unless I was looking to get deeper involved in the industry, like as a director or having my own company, I shouldn’t tell her. Which I was considering at the time directing or starting my own company, and still do somewhat (based on some of your comments, I know some of you would like that if I did).

The part that is highlighted is where my question to you comes in. When I told you how directing or starting my own company was something I was considering, why was I not told of this program? Instead, you made the assumption of my character that I wasn't aggressive enough. Being that there are not many minorities in this industry, shouldn't you be encouraging a model's endeavors of progression, and not saying things that could possibly tear down their aspirations?

I am very disappointed at 1)your wrong assumption of me, and even more so 2)the fact that I learned of your program from a magazine, and not from you.
Within 5 minutes, Tyson called me about this email trying to justify his actions. He claimed it for people he feels he "can work with." I did 3 movies under his direction, I think I more than proved myself by my putting up with his flaming crap. He tried to use my not cumming during "The Interview", as how I wasn't someone he couldn't work with. And I was glad he brought that up, because at that moment I realized why I decided not to do a cumshot for him. It was because I had enough of him. He also tried saying that my anger at that moment was why I was difficult to work with, which was complete bullshit. Because I never, ever gave him backtalk of any kind from the day I met him until then. So since he was trying to play mind games on me, and with my brain being my most prized possession, I found myself being blessed that this was a phone confrontation instead of a face to face one. Because the darkest part of me would have most definitely surfaced, and from what I learned about his reputation, this is not the 1st time he has sparked such anger.

He took his last shot by saying that, "You know what? As a model, once I've used you, I have no need for you. I don't have to use you anymore."

I told him, "Fine, because I have been considering that for some time now."

And I really had been, because I felt my time in porn with him was going nowhere. My goal in porn is to appeal to many races and cultures by showing the beauty of sex between different races and cultures. If I limit myself to doing porn with an all minority cast, then that goal will never be met.
Hence why I chose to not become his exclusive.
To explain my upset over that article, I admit that when I come on a set, I'm very quiet. But just because I'm not constantly in someone's face asking, "what's this?" and "what's that?", doesn't mean I'm someone with no aspirations and drive. I am someone who learns by observing, and at his age, Tyson should receognize the fact that there are people out like that.
This brings me back to the word from Part 1, "sellout".
What about those people who do have dreams, but the reason they show no aggression in pursuing them is because they see no way to make those dreams a reality? I think that is a big problem amongst minorities. To big themselves up, racist White America paints this picture of Blacks and Latinos living in the ghetto because they are lazy races of people. Constantly giving other whites the opportunities to help them excel, that if given to a minority, that minority could do just as good or better.
By telling me I'm not aggressive and witholding that information about his pilot program, isn't that what Tyson Cane did to me? He had the perfect opportunity to show me a road to climb further up the ladder, but instead chose to say things that could make me refrain from trying to climb it at all.
Tyson's actions also shows his priorities. I can take criticism. Especially when you have knowledge of a possbile way to correct my supposed flaw. So when your priority is to criticize 1st, and share your knowledge with me 2nd - then I'm all ears. BUT when your priority is to ONLY criticize, whether you do it to me or someone else, then how much respect should I have for you as a colleague, but even more so, as a human being?
As this year comes to a close, I felt I needed to get this out to clean out my closet, and set it up for packing it with the beauty that comes with a new year. A new year that I am (as always) looking very forward to.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

My Tyson Cane Finale

I know that in past blog entries, I have written of my bad experiences with Tyson Cane that I was trying to repress. Even though I have yet to hear any negative feedback, I'm sure some readers past and present probably think of me as a sellout. The people who would think that are those who feel that being that there are few "bruthas" in the porn industry, we all should stick together.

And I believe we should, when they are more than just "bruthas", but actually brothers.

Because a real brother who is a director wouldn't make condescending comments to his models. Should I keep forcing back my violent reaction to verbal abuse to the point that it makes me physically ill? All for the sake of that "being true to my blackness" bullshit.

So to all those submissive fools I ask, at what cost should I be true to the "bruthahood"?

Should I lie by way of omission to up-and-coming performers about how he did not exhibit proper behavior? Should I keep forcing back my violent reaction to verbal abuse to the point that it makes me physically ill? All for the sake of that "being true to my blackness" bullshit.

What about me being true to the brotherhood of humanity?


And with that in mind, I thought it best to clear the air once and for all, as to what actually was the last straw in my dealing with Tyson Cane.

Some of you may recall, back in January, I wrote a blog entry entitled, "Guess What? Mommie Knows", in which I wrote about telling my Mom about my doing porn. In it, I recalled how I confided in Tyson Cane about my considering telling my mother about my doing porn. That part of the entry was as follows:

One day on the set of “The Interview”, I had a conversation with Tyson Cane and vented to him that I was coming close to telling my Mom about my doing porn. I say “vented” because I knew all along that I was going to tell her no matter what his advice was.

His advice was him asking me, why would I want to do that to her. Unless I was looking to get deeper involved in the industry, like as a director or having my own company, I shouldn’t tell her. Which I was considering at the time...

Now, put that to the side for a moment.

Because what I didn't tell you in that entry was what Tyson said to me after I told him I was considering directing or owning my own studio at some point.

His words to me were, "Can I tell you something? You're not aggressive enough."

He suggested that I do something online. In other words, he wanted me to stick to a medium where I couldn't be perceived as any real threat to him. Which didn't surprise me, because based on the fact that if I did have my own studio or direct, I would have a variety of races and nationalities that my 1st release alone would probably surpass the sales and rentals of all of his DVDs combined.

A few months later, I received my first copy of GayVN Magazine, which was the January 2007 issue. In it there was this article that took up half of the page:



The part that is highlighted is highlighted for a reason. It is the reason that caused my Tyson Cane finale. And I will magnify it and explain why it lead to my finale in the conclusion of this entry tomorrow.

Until then.....

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Santa's Compensation

This picture was taken at the Holiday Party at The Cock this past Wednesday.

And I may have been in the very, very rare form of being tipsy when this photo was taken. Let me explain.

When I sat on this hot Santa's lap, he asked me if I had been a good boy this year. Well just like when we were kids, even when we knew we were bad as all hell, I told his, "Yes".

Then he asked what did I want for Christmas, and this is where the alcohol probably kicked in, because I think I was a little free with my mouth the way I am with this blog.

I can't recall the exact words, but I believe it was along the lines of me saying, "A nice thick dick in my ass."

His response was, "Normally, that would make you a naughty boy, but since we are at The Cock, I think that's possible."

And he may have delivered early. Because I left The Cock with 2 hotties vacationing in New York from Belgium.

Before you ask, I did not get tag teamed. DAMNIT!!!!

I fooled around with one of them (a blond with a great ass) at The Cock, and I got a chance to see his cock (which was thick like I asked Santa for). And that made me wonder, are Belgian waffles made so thick to mimic the thickness of a Belgian man's cock. I haven't been around a lot of Belgian men, but for this to be my first time with one, one can't help but think that's a possibility. Later, on we gathered his friend (gorgeous and bald) who was also his ex, and I got invited back to their hotel room.

Before we even got in the cab, the blond told me that he was too tired to fuck, so I already knew any action that happened was going to be between me and his friend. And that is exactly what happened, because when we got in the hotel room, the blond took off his clothes, and laid down on the bed, while me and his friend started making out on the same bed. For a moment, I thought we were going to wind up fucking with his ex right there, but we didn't. We went in the bathroom, and continued our make out session there, and we didn't fuck at all. When it became obvious that we all were too tired to fuck, we retired to the bed.

While I was wondering whether or not the blond was aware of anything going on, I think I got my answer. Because when we got in the bed, I got in the middle, and the blond moved over and got in a spooning position behind me. So the 3 of us went to sleep spooning each other.

At least 2 of us got our rocks off the next morning. I set the alarm on my cell phone to wake me up because I did have to go to work, and when it went off, the one I made out with in the hotel room woke up with me. We started making out again. I straddled him and we started jerking off. At times jerking our own cocks, and other times each others'. He came first, and he did it silently. The only thing that gave me a clue was the look on his face, and his slight body jolts. I knew the only way to know for certain is to check my ass.

And low and behold, there was his jizz wetting my ass crack and even more so, my hole. And that made me get so excited that I started coming, and I blew my load all over his stomach.

He was nice enough to let me shower first, so I did. I got dressed, said "goodbye", and went off to work with a smile on my face.

So maybe Santa did grant my wish to some extent. It's just that he filled my upper hole twice to make up for not filling my lower one.

Now go out there and have a

SAFE & MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

My Interview for Men Of Color Blog

Hello,

Men Of Color Blog as been so good to me.

I did an interview with Victor Hoff that was originally supposed to appear in an upcoming edition of FlavaLife Magazine, but since publishing the magazine has been put on hiatus, Victor thought well enough of the interview to post it on his blog, Men Of Color Blog. I hope you find it a fun, enlightening, and interesting, therefore enjoyable read.

http://menofcolor.blogs.com/moc_blog/2007/12/questioning-tr.html

B.U2B. FREE,

Tré Xavier

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

That Lucas Model Stare May Say The Same As You

Last week, I went to the 9th Anniversary Party at The Cock. And something happened to remind me of one of the questions that many of you knowing I'm from New York have asked. Well now, you'll get a thorough answer from me. Thanks to an upcoming interview for Men of Color Blog.

Parts of both that question and answer being:

You’ve worked for Michael Lucas in the past in non-sexual roles. ....Any chance you’ll do a non non-sexual stint for him? ....Actually, I’ve worked for Michael Lucas in both non-sexual roles and sexual roles, but as an extra, or “sextra” as we were called for “La Dolce Vita”. So the real question is, will I ever be in a featured role for him? Well, I have been called to his offices for casting 4 times within the past 2 years, and nothing as of yet. Now being that I am a different type of Black man that would show more variety than the muscular and bald Black men he’s featured so far, plus I now have the video work to prove my abilities, if you want the answer to that question, you have to ask Michael Lucas.

Luckily, the incident that reminded me of that Q & A was not one to incite controversy like last week. What happened was that while I was just standing by the bar alone, with a bit of a grin on my face because I was having fun, Anthony Marks from "Gigolo" came over to the bar. He put his arm around me, smile and said something along the lines of "Why don't the two of us stand here together, and make ourselves even more noticeable?" We then made our introductions.

I can't recall it verbatim, because while one part of me was drooling, the other felt a bit intruded upon. You see, I don't usually let people I don't know personally just immediately touch me like that, but I was having so much fun, my euphoric state made me allow it. And in case you're wondering, I was totally sober, and YES that is possible in a bar.

During his flirtation, I said to myself, "Not this again!"

"This" being another one of Michael Lucas' models checking me out, yet I've never been a featured performer in one of his films.

The 1st time this happened was on the set of "Dangerous Liaisons", before I started pursuing getting into porn. I kept getting this feeling that I was being watched. And everytime I looked up, a different star was looking over at me. If it wasn't Kent Larson, the next time it was Wilfried Knight. I though that since I was pretty well dressed compared to some of the other extras that day (as you can see from the pics) they may have thought that I was a porn actor as well.



Heck, I think I may have been even more stylish then some of the stars.

That reaction is actually what made me say to myself, "Tre, you've got 'IT'. The ways those guys - the stars of the movie - the way they are looking at you is all the sign of approval you need. If you want to do porn, then GO FOR IT!"

So there I was 4 movies later, naked on the set of "La Dolce Vita" as a "sextra", and in between takes, I get that feeling of being watched again. This time it was by Eric Grant. He's always looked like one of those male mannequins that during my adolescence, I wished would come to life so we could fuck with reckless abandon. With that being the case, you know I didn't mind being watched, plus it made for some serious motivation. After all, (1)I am an exhibitionist, and (2)the thought of Eric Grant possibly fantasizing about fucking me on the same day he's shooting a scene fucking Cole Ryan, only brought out the tease in me. So when camera started rolling again, I only got raunchier in giving a blowjob to the guy I was paired with.


The reason I'm telling this story is to show you that actions of some of Michael Lucas' models make it clear that they wouldn't mind seeing me featured in a Lucas production just as much as many of you. And after all of your questions to me in interviews, blog comments, emails, and face to face conversations about why I haven't been featured in a movie by Michael Lucas, if it's a thought on so many of your minds - go to the source and ASK MICHAEL LUCAS. Because due to my recent work and talks with producers and directors who share my idea of diversity in this industry, I personally am at a point now with that subject where my saying is "if it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it just doesn't. C'est la vie!"

Now while this question has been repeated to me so often that it has now become annoying, I do without a doubt greatly appreciate you thinking of me. Because it shows the fact that while many of you are fans of Michael Lucas' work, you consider me a good fit into his stable of models. And it's your thinking of me that keeps the "Tre Xavier" persona growing and showing inside and out.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

THANKS To The Humane

I thought I might have to do this when I told about the what I now refer to as "The Pierre Bitch Incident". So as to what I might need to say to my supporters, I was quite prepared.

I have gotten 3 comments here, 2 on my MySpace posting of the blog, and 1 on my DList posting. And I will name each and everyone of you by name, because your boldness to stand with me on this matter deserves way more than the acknowledgement I can give you here. But it is the least and best I can do for you, because as far as my belief goes, only God can do better. And although I know some of you are atheist, I'll still say, God bless you all.

First off, a friend of mine informed me that a blog was written in response to the incident on MenOf Color blog. I was very much surprised being how that was the first sign that my tale of enduring racism struck a chord enough for word of that person's inadequacy as a human being to spread.

Ka-os sent me a friend request on both my DList and MySpace profile, and since then we have had numerous and intellectual chats. And I sincerely hope to meet him face to face one day. Not only because he's tall with a face, body, lips, and ass I adore. But because he has a mind that I've come to adore as well, even when we don't agree on a matter. And that mind makes him even sexier. Check out what he had to say in my defense:

http://ka-os.blogspot.com/2007/12/sometimes-porn-stars-say-bad-things.html Thanks, Babe.

Another cutie I have yet to meet in person on DList is RyanAnthony. I saw his pic, thought he was one of the many underrated studs in glasses, and clicked on his profile. What I discovered was a rather intelligent individual that I immediately wanted on my friends list. You see, you can get on my friends list by being only cute, but showing you have looks PLUS a brain, there will be no delay in me adding you. And I figured he wasn't a racist by accepting my friend request, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much he abhors racism by his comment to my blog:

"Fuck Pierre Fitch! "White people's skin feels better"!? Are you kidding me!?!?! Who is he, Thomas Jefferson!?!?!

The only "types" of guys I find completely unattractive are racist fuck-faces. Clearly, you handled the situation very well and did the right thing, beginning to end: bravo!"

No, BRAVO to you Ryan, for the depth of your convictions.

There's another cute Ryan I have to thank that's on MySpace. Check out my blog on MySpace to see his comment. What it will clearly show is that what makes guys hot besides a cute face and a hot bod is a great mind. That will definitely shine through on this Ryan, when you check out his comment first then his profile.

This is where we get personal with Anthony, Ben, and Rob.

Anthony and Ben's support hold a great deal of importance to me, because they are the past and present of the porn industry.

Anthony you may recall as former porn actor Tony Bishop, who has since became a good friend of mine. He doesn't comment on alot of my blogs, so to see that he felt the need t say anything at all means that what he read got to him, because he heard someone trying to tear his friend down. And to see that only strengthens our friendship.

Ben is Ben Marksman of Knight Stick Films. I wish more people that I know on some level personally who are presently within this industry showed some support. At least saying, "I'm sorry to hear that." Instead of taking the emotionless publicist stand and saying nothing like it never happened to protect their image and not seem biased, when being that this is about one's degree of humanity, one should be biased. I got enough of that reaction from the staff at Splash after the incident. Besides some studios casting practices show them to be biased enough. Falcon Studios, anyone? So it was refreshing to see someone who is presently in the industry show some degree of support. Thanks Ben, you are a rare find, and deserve many accolades for the depth of your humanity that outshines your so-called colleagues.

Lastly, we have Rob. Rob is a someone I have been talking to. And like all the other supporters I listed here, he's White. But considering his present position in my life as a caring friend, you know he has strong feelings of disgust about what happened to me. And the fact that he decided to put it online for you to see instead of just keeping those emotions between us means a lot.

I cherish my readers greatly. At first, I was hoping for more comments, but then my mother reminded me as to why I said I took pride in my writing. It's because I can be a voice for those who don't have a means to have a voice in any form of media. So if your silence is because you see me as a vessel to express the rage you have towards this problem that plagues our society, then I will continue on with pride and joy.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Leaving THE PLAYGROUND

I know for the past month I have been trying to promote my being one of the dancers at Splash's new Sunday night basement event, THE PLAYGROUND, but I must now inform you that I am no longer one of their dancers. I did nothing wrong, so I wasn't told not to come back. In fact, the promoter, Bobby Austin was very much hoping I would come back. And due to my respect for Bobby, let me firmly state that my leaving has nothing to do with Bobby Austin. The choice of me leaving is mine. Now, if it was my choice alone is what stands to be investigated, because my leaving is totally about the venue, Splash.

If I didn't believe that Bobby had a good idea of having a variety of dancers, I would not have promoted my being one of his dancers so heavily (this blog, my website, my MySpace and DList bulletins), or even agreed to being one of his dancers for that matter. The problem is that his idea that invites variety was held at Splash, which is a place that (as I have written before) does not embrace variety.

Bobby Austin's great idea was not promoted well on Splash's end as any competent management would have. If you saw my update page, and how often the date and design of the ad for my appearance at Splash changed, that fault lies with Splash, and the aggravation I'm about to express towards that are my sentiments alone.

Bobby Ausitn emailed me one day to inform me that the date had been moved up a week. OK. So I changed the date on the ad on my website and bulletin posts. THEN Bobby emails me to inform me that Splash had a problem with the original name for the night, "HARD Attack Sundays". They wanted something more generic.

BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE.

Splash also didn't want any advertising for the night that they didn't OK. Now even though my website is self-owned and self-maintained, I would have no problem with removing the ad IF the promoter and venue both took some iniative in promoting the night. Therefore, while the event may be at your place yet you take no initative, where do you get the fuck-faced audacity to say do not to promote my part in it on my website? But since Bobby did take the iniative, out of loyalty to Bobby, I reluctantly removed the ad until I heard otherwise from him.

And it's not like I didn't give Splash a chance to correct themselves. Every week before the debut of the night, I checked Splash's ads in HX and Next Magazine. If (and that's a big "IF") I saw anything about HARD Attack Sundays or THE PLAYGROUND it was only mentioning that there were lap dances (with no mention of the low cost compared to other places) and the letters were small enough to not catch your eye. So it was if we were being set up to fail. This led me to have to decide whether or not I should stick with an event I believe in, even though it's not getting the proper promotion it should from the venue.

At first, I was also a bit annoyed by the fact that none (if any) of you showed up, but I had to realize that whenever I said something about Splash being Chelsea Boy Central, and no longer being the NY gay mecca that it once was, many of you agreed saying how you didn't like it anymore either. With that in mind, how can I blame you for not showing up? I'm not arrogant enough to believe that as much as you may be fans of mine, that my presence can make you want to spend a cover charge to see me at a place that has over the past few years fallen beneath your standards.

I guess the reason I was so willing to give Splash a chance is because if you recall, Splash is where I had my sexual awakening. But back then, a variety of types of men were more accepted. It was almost like the 70's revisited there. What is such a shame is that those days was just 5 years ago. And since then, Splash has become a place where the only ones extremely welcomed are gymrats and twinks, and of course the old men who believe their lives are so empty that they allow themselves to be financially drained by either one or both. So I now have to realize that the hey day of Splash is an important part of my personal history and growth, instead of it's present day incarnation.

As they show the show must go on, as the show "THE PLAYGROUND" still does - just without me. And I feel no regrets about my decision. I have a great deal of respect for Bobby Austin, and I am very willing to dance for him again. Just not at Splash, or a venue I know to be managed as poorly.

Monday, December 3, 2007

After Pierre Bitch's Drunken Racist Tirade.....

After Pierre Fitch's racist tirade, needless to say I was pissed off. But not because I was hurt by his words. It was pissed because there comes a point when you become tired of feeling sorry for people because of their ignorance, and as often as I have addressed the issue of racism in this blog, I am really fuckin' tired.

But my trip home put a smile on my face. First, because I was proud of myself at how I handled the situation. And then second reason was a complete surprise.

I was waiting for the PATH train at 14th Street, and I saw a White guy walk through the turnstile. He looked familiar, and we kept looking at each other. He then got up and started walking further down the platform, but still looking back at me as he walked away. I stayed the distance where I was for a bit, then saw the train coming and went to stand a couple of yards away from him. So when the train door opened, we got in the same car.

He sat diagonally from me at first, then at the next stop of the train, he moved to sit on the same side as me with just 1 seat between us. This is when to my surprise I grew a pair of gigantic balls.

I made the 1st move by saying to him, "You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

He said, "I don't know."

Remembering his name, I said it to him, and he told me I was right. I recall where I met him.

He then whispered to me, "Did we hook up?"

I told him that we did get together, but we didn't have sex. Well, not anal sex. You see, I immediately knew who I thought he was, which was a guy I met one night at Splash about 3 years ago. We talked alot, then went on the roof of his place where he started giving me a blowjob. And he was quite impressed with my remembering all that including the exact state his Southern twang came from.

This time, we did pretty much the same. We talked about what was going on in our lives, including my doing porn, which he thought was pretty hot.

After talking about other things, one subject that came up was our necessity for sex. So right there sitting in the middle of the car on the PATH train, with practically everyone else in the car sleeping, he asked me if he could touch my dick.

I told him, "Go ahead."

I had my bag sitting in my lap, so he slipped his hand underneath it and started feeling my cock through my pants. He was still so incredibly sexy, I was hard before he started feeling it. He then started working his way into my pants, then actually pulled my cock out, and started jerking it. He said he wanted me to come, so he could lick it off his fingers, but as hot a thought as that was, I knew I wouldn't. Looking back, I probably could have shot a load, if I had thought at that moment to slip my hand down the back of his pants and feel his ass. After all, if memory serves me right (as it had so far), he had an ass I wanted to bury my face, tongue, finger, and dick in. And in that exact order.

When it was time to get off the train, luckily with everyone sleep and having to wake up, no one saw how I had to slip my dick back into my pants real quick. As we rode the escalator out of the PATH station, he asked me if my cum was sweet or not,and I told him it's been a while since I tasted it.

We may very well live not too far from each other. But while I took a nearly 15 minute walk home, he took a cab, and we parted ways.

Looking at my history with this guy, as others have unrequited love, me and him have unrequited lust. We have never fucked or came when we got together from that 1st meeting 3 years ago to this one.

That adventure made me forget all about Pierre Bitch's drunken racist outburst. In fact, it counterattacked it, because it reminded me of how many White men are out there who are open-minded, therefore enough of a worthwhile existence to know that Black is just as beautiful as White. And although this guy was hoping to give me the kind of "happy ending" you can get from a massage, after a night like the one I had, the ending I got from that reminder is a happy ending that suits me fine.

Alas, Naming Names In The Racism Game

There is only but so many times I am going to be confronted with racism and bigotry by someone in the porn industry, and practice the restraint of not naming names before I have enough of the fuck-faced behavior and actually do name names.

Well my friends - the restraints are off now. For that time has come.

I did my dancing gig at Splash for it's 2nd week, and there was a porn actor in the bar as a patron. The incident started while I was having what turned out to be a deep conversation with a patron, A drunken patron then interrupted to talk about how the porn actor was acting so full of himself, and how I should follow his lead. The porn actor was rubbing up on a couple of the other go-go boys, going behind the bar to make out with the bartender. Either drunk and out of control, spoiled and out of control, or a combination of the 2. You decide. Anyway, knowing I was not going to lower myself to those antics, especially considering that it wouldn't say much good about my intellect to take advice from a guy drunk off his ass, this drunken patron decided to say, "I'm going to go fuck with him". And proceeded to start trouble.

The drunken patron picked up a jacket the porn actor left on a bar stool, and told him that I wanted a shirt. I immediately made it clear that I wanted nothing of his. But the drunken porn actor dumb enough to follow the lead of the drunken patron took the situation to a level that if he had any class about himself, he would not have went there.

The porn actor, who was Pierre Fitch, gave a response that was a racist tirade. Saying things like, "I not into those type of guys, I like my white men, their skin feels better", and "no matter how drunk I am, I wouldn't do it".

Now, I admit to having a preference. We all do. But was that necessary? I myself have admitted to racism against black men, that I have overcome greatly. But even so, at least mine was brought about based on what most of the Black men I knew growing up lacked inside. For Pierre to say something like "their (white men's) skin feels better", shows the very superficial outlook that halts our progress not just as gay men, but as human beings overall.

The patron that I was having the deep conversation with was eyewitness to this, and was wondering how I was able to tolerate this. I reminded him of the reason I look so good for my age after he paid me such a compliment for how fit and vibrant I am to be go-go dancing at 36, and not look like I'm out of my 20's. I told him that not letting things like this get to me is exactly why. I looked at Pierre Fitch's drunken racist tirade as him being beneath me. After all, I had no need to get drunk to talk to anyone I talked to that night, whether I was attracted to them or not. Yet, he did. When I present myself as a "wild boy" anywhere, I do it clean and sober, so I can remember the fun I had being a "wild boy" the next day. Drunkards don't have that privilege. Drunkards have regrets, and get drunk again to try and bury their regets.

Early on in our conversation, the patron I was in deep talks with told me that the vibe he got from me is that I know why I'm in this industry, and he applauded me for that, because as he said most younger people have no clue as to why they're doing it, they just are. And those reasons have been explained at one point or another within my blog entries over the nearly 2 years since I started writing my blog. Now some of you may think that he was probably drunk, too. Well, even if he was, this is not the 1st time that someone has told me that I give off that vibe to them. And it wasn't at a bar. It has at some times been in just regular chance conversations with new people that I meet, and tell them what I do. And the fact that I have that strong an inner-light that tells that truth about me, makes me able to overcome any racist and bigoted ranting (drunk or sober) given by Pierre Fitch or any other superficial and close-minded sack of shit.

But I will close today with this.
Don't worry about me, because my night did have a "happy ending" of sorts. But that's tomorrow's story.....

See also - The Tre-Kyros Exchange

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Come Play With Me in THE PLAYGROUND

I've had quite a busy schedule lately. Between my shoot with Knight Stick films on the November 18th, my dancing for Daniel Nardicio's Horn Of Plenty party on the 21st, and now this past Sunday the 25th, I go-go danced at Splash in their new weekly event, THE PLAYGROUND. You may have seen it originally promoted on my update page, and my MySpace and DList bulletins as "HARD Attack Sundays".
I was quite nervous because I never did anything like this before. Most of the interacting with fans that I've done so far has been where they proposition me. For this event, I mostly have to proposition them. So all the bringing out of my personality that I've claimed doing Will Clark's events has done for me is now being put to the test more than ever before.
I was the 1st dancer to arrive. Later on I met 2 of my fellow dancers, and they proved to be the variety that the night's promoter, Bobby Austin said he wanted for the night - there was something for everyone. You had the little African/Native American/Venezuelan mutt that I am, a tall hot Asian, and a tall hot Latino. The 3 of us bonded quickly, probably because of our being nervous about the newness of the situation. Although, it was a slow night probably due to it being the end of the Thanksgiving weekend where many are either en route to, or resting from returning home, we did quite well for ourselves. So I'm looking forward to doing it again this Sunday.

Now, while I said "the 3 of us", it pains me to mention that there was a fourth dancer. What pains me is that this 4th dancer is like me, a porn actor, and unlike me, an escort. While the night was slow, my code of ethics made me stick it out until the end, whether I made money slowly or quickly, because I threw my name into the hat to be chosen. And it was circumstances that made it a slow night, not the bar or the promoter, so bailing for me was not an option. This guy's "code" however was to bail because the money was coming slow, so he bailed and left after being there for maybe and hour and a half, if that, to go to the quick money of an escorting client. What annoyed me most about his actions is that it's too stereotypical of what many feel about porn actors - that being extremely arrogant, and an "every man for himself" mentality at any cost. I admit that to be in an adult performer requires some degree of sexual confidence, but not to the point of being vain like this individual was, and I try my damnest not to be. In fact, his actions show him to be so vain, that he probably thinks this blog is about him. Therefore, I won't stay on this part of the evening too much longer.

If anyone had the right to be that vain, it would have been the bartender that all 3 of us were drooling over. Early on in the night, I was dancing on the bar, and whenever I turned in his direction, I could not take my eyes off his ass. Need I remind you, I'm an ass-man? Since he had what a friend of mine would call "the ass of life", I was definitely on the verge of growing a woody right before every one's very eyes.

And speaking of nice asses, early in the night I was walking around with cards telling about the night. I went past one guy, and just by seeing him out of the corner of my eye, I thought to myself, "WOW! I'd like to give him way, way, way more than just a lap dance."

The hottie turned out being Jason Grey from Knight Stick Films' upcoming 1st feature, "All Out Assault". You may recall me mentioning meeting him at The Gay Erotic Expo. Neither one of us had any idea that the other was going to be there, so it was cool to see a familiar face among all those I saw that night.

So as you can see, my first night of dancing at Splash has some everything. Some hotness, some coolness, as well as some rudeness. And I'm looking forward to even more hotness and coolness for a good number of Sundays to come. And you can experience some of the hotness as well, if you stop by to get a lap dance from me or one of my fellow dancers. Compared to some other places, for only $10 a song, you can't lose.
So come play with us in The Playground. Sundays downstairs @ SPLASH starting @ 10 PM, 50 West 17th Street, NYC.

Friday, November 23, 2007

October 10th Porno Bingo - The Night In Pics

I hope you had a Happy & Safe Thanksgiving. Being that I like to send you off on to the weekend horny as hell. I thought I'd give you a little teaser blog entry before giving you the main entry to really make you a horny goat.

I went to Will Clark's new website, http://www.willclarkworld.com/, where he has now combined all of his websites into 1. And I noticed that it said that the Porno Bingo photo galleries were update. For me, that means that the pics from the night I last appeared there (October 10th) are now posted. I won't post them all, but are some featuring me, and some scandalous others I mentioned in my blog about that night.

Here I am with the host with the most, Will Clark. Since a lot of whatever popularity I have stemmed from my involvment with his events, when he asks for me to make an appearance, how could I say, "No"?


Well, once we reached a decent enough amount, as promised, I did a striptease for only the shirt to come off.

Now, for pics of those that I referred to as the "scandalous others".













This is the cheerleader I had the make-out session with. I'm not normally one to pat myself on the back, but in this case I must say, I do know a good-looking man when I see one. Don't you agree?

And the guy on the left is the one who made our 2-way kiss into a 3-way. Now you see why I said he shouldn't have stopped. Imagine connecting lips with these 2 hotties at the same time - 'nuff said.


Now, we did make enough money for me to drop trou. And to show solidarity, my make-out buddy to your right did as well. And you can see that pic in Will Clark's gallery on his website.

I told you I might get naked LIVE.For those who missed it, aren't you now sorry you did?

Fed The Knight Stick

When me and Ben Marksman first met as extras on the set of "Michael Lucas' Dangerous Liaisons" on February 13th, 2005, who would have thought I would be a featured performer in a porno with Ben as director exactly 2 years 9 months and 5 days to that day. Well, to my surprise that day was recently planned and came to fruition on November 18, 2007.

The Monday before the shoot, Ben, my scene partner Taino, and myself met to discuss things about the shoot. Afterwards, being that we were going in the same direction, me and Taino walked together, and exchanged emails. He emailed me and gave me his phone number so we could talk about our turn-ons so we could make it an easier shoot. I never got around to putting his number into my phone, so when he called me the next day, while I was trying to figure out who this was on the other end of my phone, I was also thinking, "Damn, this guy sounds sexy."

I won't go into too many details of what we discussed about what we liked, but I will say that what Taino liked - I enjoyed giving to him or having done to me.

Before the shoot, we took some photos, and Taino went first. The area we were shooting in for the pics and the movie was small so I was in another room out of the way. But when I last saw Taino, he was clothed. Then I was asked back to be Taino's fluffer. I walked in to see Taino totally naked. I knew I would eventually see him that way, but not with the immediate pleasure of being asked to suck his dick. I occasionally get kind of hard while giving a blowjob, but while sucking on Taino, I got really hard. And Taino felt it through my pants. Well could you blame me? You saw the picture from my previous post. Now, being the ass-man that I am, you know I was as happy as a pig in slop to have Taino's dick and my mouth and his plump ass in my hands.

During our Monday meeting with Ben, I figured by some things said that Taino wasn't into rimming. So I was pleasantly surprised while shooting our sex scene when Taino turned me around, put me up against the wall, and started eating my ass. In fact, that great surprise made me even more willing to give up my ass.

But for a moment, it was almost Taino giving up the ass. We all had a brief moment of me possibly doing as some of you suggested - I was almost a top in this one. Taino was cool with the idea, but hesitant because he said the same thing many of you keep saying about me, but I refuse to believe. That being how I have a big dick. I was actually willing to devote a good half-hour to prepping his ass to get fucked, because one thing I neglected to mention from our phone conversation is that Taino is for the VERY most part a top. So his hole would have been super-tight. And he would have definitely needed to get prepped because I'm sure I would have lost myself if I had got inside that tight hole, and hit my groin up against his ass. Instead, it was as it should be with his dick in my hole, and his groin hitting up against my ass, which I especially loved when he laid me down on my stomach, and fucked me that way.

Taino was such a rude fucker to me. And being that's what his character called for, I was loving it. Definitely when he called me "pussy-boy". I got so turned on when he said things like , "Yeah, you like that dick, don't you Pussy Boy?"

But because Taino had to play such a rude dominating fucker meant I myself had to really act here. Because for my normally aggressive bottom self, it meant I had to be totally submissive to this bad boy fucking my brains out. Well, one thing that made it easier, was how it wasn't acting was when I tell Taino how his dick is amazing. So YES, I was very well fed the knight stick.

Between the professionalism of Ben Marksman and Taino, I had a day on the porn set that I've been looking for all along. An ethnically diverse cast for one. A director who never took a shot at the sexual egos of me or my scene partners because he respected us as performers and fellow artists. And lastly, a scene partner who is enough of an organizer to take the time to learn what we can do to each other to make the shoot go more smoothly.

Will I do more? Only time and fate will tell that one. Who knows? It did this time, maybe it will again.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Show Your Rage Toward The Plagues

In the beginning of my last post, I made the accusation that some prominent studios have been procrastinating in casting me due to racism and ageism. I didn't feel it was right for me to make such an accusation without explaining to you specific instances that brought me to that conclusion about these porn studios.

One such instance is that after making contact with an important figure there, I have been told that when a role comes up that I'm a fit for, I'll be contacted. The problem is this - with so few Blacks in the mainstream porn companies, that is a lame excuse. Ben Marksman of Knight Stick Films said he wanted me in his movie, and he gave me a part within a month of us making contact at the NY Gay Erotic Expo.

Why? Because he wanted the diversity in his cast that really shows New York.

This other guy's company should also be striving for the same goal of showing diversity being that they are already established across the country, and should therefore be displaying a cast that pays homage to that. So to cast me right away would have been a step in the right and long overdue direction because practically all of their movies feature an all-White cast with a Latino here and there. And even then, some of their Latino actors can often pass for White. Therefore, because of the racial make-up of their casts, I have never seen one of their movies, but I was hoping to get a call from them to make me stop my boycott of them. And if I wasn't the Black guy to get cast, I would run out and buy a feature that features a Black actor who is not of the overrun norm in mainstream porn of Black actors being buffed, bald, and tops.

Another instance that brought me to justifiably insult another porn studio is my being asked to give in some footage of my past work.

What is wrong with this?

What's wrong with it is the fact that this director is believed to discover talent of people who have never been in front of a camera before. So why was I asked to show some footage of some past work when the fact that I have past work with various companies at all should be proof enough. Was this his way of making a "nigger" jump through hoops to please his ego? Or has he done this to others, be they Black, White, or whatever just to go on a power trip at the expense of their hopes.

Even though I found this suspicious, I still did it, and have yet to hear anything from this director. So do you smell bullshit? If not, then you are way more naive than I was. Keyword being "was". Hence the reason I am no longer trying to be bothered with this director, because there comes a time when you have to realize you're dealing with an egotistical asshole, and realize to yourself that they're not worth all that work. But more importantly, ACT on that realization.

In acting on that realization, I have returned from my over a year away from in front of the camera, preparing for my mind to work for a project I'm sure that I will be proud of. Because it shows the diversity of the porn-buying public, and not the plagues of racism and ageism that many big name studios have made millions of dollars off of spreading.

Now, I have found a way to show my rage towards these plagues. My question to you is - how are you going to show yours?

Monday, November 12, 2007

Feeling The Knight Stick

Just as I was about to call it quits with the porn industry due to all the racism and ageism from quite popular studios (you know who you bitches are) leading to bullshit procrastinations in casting me, someone who aims to show what it means to be a very sexual gay man was actually man enough himself to be true to his word by not giving me a bullshit delay, and took me on. More on why I'm flipping those other studios the bird in a future entry.

But for now, I have good news....

The new company I wrote about in my blog entry about The NY Gay Erotic Expo, Knight Stick Films, have cast me in one of their features.

And it gets better.

My scene partner is Taino, the hottie from Craig Sebastian DVDs "Around The House #7", that I mentioned in that same blog. And the reason I got paired with him is because the producer, Ben Marksman read that blog, and when he wrote me about working for him, he mentioned meeting Taino at the Expo. So since Ben knew I wanted to get fucked by him, I pretty much for once had a big say in choosing my scene partner. Most porn actors at my stage of the game (and beyond) never get to say that.


And come this Sunday, I'll find out if my eye for good-looking men once again works with my radar for finding a guy who knows how to give a good fuck.

Knight Stick Films movies are storyline-driven, so there is a real script involved. With my past as a mainstream performer (which includes acting), this will be easy for me. I won't give away the story, but Taino does manhandle me a bit before fucking me. SWEET! You know I don't mind, especially since pictures of Taino were the only ones I took that entire day at the Gay Erotic Expo. So here's to hoping he fucks me senseless.

If you read the comment from one of his other actors, Jason Grey, he spoke very well of Ben Marksman and Knight Stick Films, and it says a lot when I have to agree with him, and I haven't even shot a scene under Ben's direction yet.

Therefore to confirm my suspicions, this is a definite tale to be continued..... after this Sunday.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Getting Out The Kinks: Extensions, Ink

Since starting my "Getting Out The Kinks" series, I have brought to light some kinks that some of you never thought much about. Well, this one I'm sure some of you have, but have you thought about why you like it?

The "it" I'm talking about being tattoos.


For a moment there, I thought my previous post for the "Getting Out The Kinks" series was my last. Then one day, when I was looking for pictures of Justin Christopher to use in my post about my romp with a very well-endowed Frenchman, I went to Raging Stallion's website and saw under "New Releases" the thumbnail of the cover for "Ink Storm". Even with it being a thumbnail, I knew the guy on the cover was HOT. Every other time I saw someone that extremely tattooed in the past, I didn't find them attractive at all, so I had to click on that thumbnail to see if my eyes were deceiving me. It turns out they weren't, so now I had to find out the name of the guy I knew I was going to beat my meat to.


I think what makes Logan McCree still sexy with so many tattoos is the fact that all of his tattoos are solid lines that don't completely hide the skin, unlike the other people whose many colored body tattoos I find unattractive. Therefore you can still see how sexy and handsome Logan is, because a person's natural skin color is one of the keys to a person's beauty. So I'm sure every reviewer out there with a brain will agree with me on seeing Logan McCree's sexual charisma because of that, whether their a fan of tattoos or not.

After seeing other pics and where else Logan had tattoos, I was definitely in lust. Especially after seeing the ones on each cheek of his ass. I've always had a thing for guys who put tattoos near, but especially on their ass. Then I realized wanting to see this inporn started with Raging Stallion.

After winning Will Clark's Porn Idol, Will Clark invited me to be a guest for his Porno Bingo event the next night, and I won a round there. Part of the prize package was , which had a featurette on the making of as well as a great many trailers. Michael Brandon was in quite a few of them. And one thing I found myself looking for was to see his ass with that tattoo nice and sweaty from a hot fuck. So now, here we are 2 years later, and Raging Stallion once again reminds me of how in my porn, tattoos turn me on.

I have always seen tattoos as an extension of the person. And I find them even sexier if I can touch them, and the skin is somewhat raised from when it healed like mine.
That's what turns me on about "Ink Storm". It gives me tattooed studs to want to touch and feel that extended part of them. Just as I've always wanted to stroke and grope Michael Brandon's ass to feel his extended part of him. Of course, he has a grope-worthy ass with or without the tattoo, but the tattoo ma kes it even more enticing.

Although it's not exactly politically correct for me as a Porn Actor to say this, but I have said in the past that I have sworn off buying any American gay porn until I see something different. Something other than the drones of clones that don't show America that too many mainstream porn studios seem to follow of smooth White muscleboys and twinks, and buffed and bald Black men being only tops. Totally dismissing the existence of Blacks as bottoms, and other hotties who are Asian, Middle Eastern, etc. Well, although I have yet to see it, just a picture of the cast alone tells you that "Ink Storm" at long last delivers on giving you that something different. I think Jake Deckard's concept of making a total cast of sexy tattooed hotties definitely deserves some kind of commendation.

THANKS to Kent Taylor of Raging Stallion for the photos, and to Michael Brandon and the cast of "Ink Storm" for being such FUCKIN' HOT inspirations for this post.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Behind THAT Office Door

Do you ever wonder what happening behind an office door when you knock, and there's no answer, but you know the person's there?

Well, if you (1) have noticed the chemistry between some of your fellow employees, and (2)have your mind is in the gutter, then you're probably thinking there might be some hanky panky going on. Well, there's only 1 way to find out.

Knock - and if you get no answer, then open the door.

One day, one of my co-workers told me that my coordinator told a male paralegal that I do gay porn. Of course nothing justifies my coordinator telling him that, when I was told that all the male paralegal said about me is that I was crazy. Now, of course I don't really cares who knows. I'm not ashamed about what I do. But there is a definite hypocrisy in the corporate world, where if that info about me slips to the wrong people (like Human Resources where I do have an enemy), it can cause an unjustified legal matter to surface. I always wondered if that paralegal was going to be that person that tales of my side gig slipped from. Well, I believe after what I have to tell you, his lips have been officially sealed.

About 2 weeks ago, while doing my 3:00 mail run, I came across something. The cart I was doing had the 2nd floor on it. I went to the 2nd floor at 2:00, and went pass a female paralegal's office and the door was closed. I know either at 2 or 3 o'clock she's eating lunch in there, so this time I passed by it. But when I came around for my 3:00 run, the door was still closed. This time I knocked, but got no answer. Even with no answer, the usual protocol is to still walk into the office to check for the outgoing mail so no complaints about one's mail not being picked up comes to us later.

Maybe I should have left the door alone.

When I opened the door, I saw female paralegal sitting bent over in her chair with her back to her desk, and the male paralegal I spoke of before standing in front of her. While she uttered, "SHIT!", the male paralegal walked quickly from behind her desk with shirt tail hanging out of the zipper area of his pants trying to tuck his shirt in. I just looked at the outbox from the door, and walked out like I saw nothing.

But actually I saw plenty. Plenty enough that with all of us hopefully being all grown-ups here know what I interrupted. They should have put a sign on the door that said, "DO NOT DISTURB: BLOWJOB IN PROGRESS".

There were 3 things that struck me about them being extremely (besides horny) foolish in doing this:
(1)the office doors in the firm don't lock;
(2) it was 3:00 in the afternoon, when most of the staff is still around; therefore
(3) what if it was one of their superiors who walked into that room instead of me.

I knew stuff like this happened on the job, but I never expected to be lucky enough to walk in on it, and have some good gossip material. I wish I walked in on a rumored incident from a couple of years ago. A male and female attorney were rumored to have been caught having sex in one of the bathrooms by a partner. Now, had I caught them, since I thought the male attorney was fuckin' hot, they could have bought by silence by either letting him fucking me, or for the markdown price - they allow me to suck his dick.

I have no idea if they were reprimanded for this, and although neither one of them is still with the firm, they were definitely not fired. This brings me to wonder between that incident and the most recent one I actually did walk in on, what if it was 2 gay men that were found doing these things?

Would we only get a reprimand or would we be fired on the spot?

I have to say "we" because I still fantasized about a romp with a few of the other attorneys and paralegals on my day job. And there are still some attorneys and paralegals who if propositioned to, I would probably risk getting caught under their desk giving them a blowjob. In fact, there's one paralegal right now who seems to be somewhat flirtatious with me. Or maybe it's just my horny imagination.

The possibility of getting caught making the sex have even more of a rush was probably why they people took those risks. You may find it hard to believe, but the risk of getting caught, so far has an opposite effect on me unless I'm in a sexual environment where touching is the norm, but actual penetration is a shocker.

Catching those 2 in the act does have a drawback. Now, when I'm doing my mail runs, when I see an office door closed, I wonder what's going on behind that office door that necessitates it being closed.

Well, like I said before - there's only 1 way to find out.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Word Of Advice: Guard Your Sexual Ego

While I try to be true to my word and advise the up-and-comers in the adult industry, this blog entry is for you. And for the rest of you, it can bring you another step closer to what helped me make the decision to no longer work for Tyson Cane. So in other words, after these tales, there will still be more to tell as to what led up to the final straw.

Now, to help the up-and-cummers.

From the moment you step on a porn set, you need to know what you're capable of doing, and if you are not sure, then let your producer and director know that. It's more to your advantage that you know because (1)a director most likely doesn't want to be your sex ed teacher telling you what you like as an individual, so knowing can lead to more work; and (2)not all directors have professionalism as their forte, and they may say some insulting things about the abilities you are more than aware of the fact that you have.

Such was the case with Tyson Cane on the set of "The Interview". Tyson told one of my co-stars that they are "not a very good top".

What makes this such a prime example of a director lacking professionalism?

(1)He said this in front of me and a guest; and (2)my co-star has worked before as a top, in movies for another company, and for Tyson Cane as well, which most likely is why he was made a Tyson Cane Exclusive.

Being eyewitness to this greatly offended me, because like in mainstream entertainment, when a director inappropriately insults one of your co-stars, he ruins the good vibe that should be on the set. And on a porn set, a good vibe is tantamount to making a good scene. It offended me so that at one point Tyson Cane insulted me during the shoot. He made a comment about how long it takes me to cum, then insisted on mocking me for it. I have said in the past that I am not to fond on Tyson Cane's taste in men, and since the perfect example of that for me was my scene partner in "The Booth". He was who I was talking about in my blog entry for Pitbull, "My Little Death : Interrupted". Now with that being the case, wouldn't you take a while to shoot your load? So this time, he finally has not just 1, but 3 guys that are my taste, so cumming should be easier. Just like it was easy for the 5-man orgy in "69 Fuck Street". I was the 2nd one to shoot their load. But Tyson messed it up by ruining up the vibe on the set with how he treated my co-stars on this set (and past sets), plus his verbal attack on me, and all this was getting to be the last straw. I was trying for the cumshot, then he asked me if I was going to come, and I decided he doesn't deserve what I have to offer, so I point blank told him, "NO".

If he made a better vibe on his set that wouldn't have been an issue. I'm the type of person who has enough inner-strength that I don't get hurt by the hurtful and insulting things people say to me. Instead, I get angered by the possible injury those words can do to my spirit or that of my fellow man. And that was the case here. Thank God for my being self-assured, because his words could have cause my sexual ego some serious injury. And that's why I'm advising you up-and-cummers to go on a porn set self-assured of your abilities. So unwarranted verbal attacks don't bruise your sexual ego, because if it does, you may take your hurt beyond the set and into your personal sex life.

Porn actors are exhibitionists, and the director is supposed to be your voyeur, so knowing that he/she is watching and enjoying it is supposed to get you off. Your director should never say things to you that may possibly make you feel less than sexually well-equipped, UNLESS you did some false advertising of what you could deliver, and have no video credit to back it up. But after 6 movies, that is not the case with me. And I want the same for you.

I hope this advice helps all of you up-and-cummers. I give these words of advice so that I can beat my meat to you guys and feel that without a shadow of a doubt that the pleasure moans you're giving in your scenes are 100% real. So go out there, know how great a fuck you are, and make it my pleasure to beat my meat to you.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Model For Art and/or Blasphemy?

This past Sunday proved to be a very busy day for me as well. For starters, after I went to see my friends one-man show at BAAD. A few of us got on the 6 train, went to the East Village, and went to Nowhere. The rush of new happenings didn't even stop there, because as I was ordering a beer for my friend, the bartender told me that some guy paid for the beer. I've never had someone across from me in a bar pay for my drink before, so I had no idea of what the proper etiquette was in this situation. And neither did my friends. There was nothing really wrong with the guy from what I saw. It's just that Saturday gave me such a rush, and I felt Sunday was going to be the same way, so I not only wanted, but needed this to be my cool out period.

Smart move on my part, because Sunday was exactly as I expected.

I decided to go spend the afternoon at Daniel Nardicio's Sundays @ The Bijou again, and get in some model drawing there was a chance I may actually end up modeling. You see, on the Friday before, Daniel put out a bulletin asking if someone wanted to be a model for Sunday. I replied a little too late, because Daniel replied saying that he already told someone else "yes", but there's a chance he might back out, and if he does, he would let me know ASAP. So I went to the Bijou Sunday thinking that I was going to draw the model, but my 6th sense knew that I would be the model. As soon as I walked in the door, Daniel saw me telling me the guy never showed. So I got undressed and waited for someone to come by pick up a pad and pencil, and make magic on paper with me as their subject.

While waiting, I met Chaz and Lonni, better known as Whore's Mascara. They walked by with Daniel and saw me waiting on the bar. Lonni made me especially nervous because if it wasn't for being a little taller and heavier, he's almost a dead ringer for a Polish/Russian guy I tricked about 8 months after I discovered my sexuality 5 years ago. What makes it more intense is that guy was the 1st person that I declared as the best sex I ever had at that time. Now, considering how I've come to realize that just as most people who look alike tend to act alike, and the same seems to hold true for sexual performance, I had to put my mind on other things to avoid my dick from standing at attention.

Only 1 guy came by to draw me. He said he hadn't drawn in years. Well, from what you see here, drawing for him was like riding a bike - he didn't forget a thing.
With no other takers, I just hung out. Then Daniel asked me about appearing at his after-party for the Gay Erotic Expo. Due to what I wrote in my blog about the Bijou, and seeing the trailer for Dark Alley Media "PASSIO", he wasn't sure because of my religious convictions as to whether or not I'd be OK doing what he was about to ask. To promote "PASSIO", he asked if I minded being tied to the cross totally naked like Danny Fox was in the movie. Consciously, I have no idea why, but I responded with a bright and shiny, "Sure." He told me that people would be able to walk by and touch me and suck on my dick, which is pretty much how Danny Fox is done in the movie.

With my religious convictions, you would think I would have turned my nose up at this, but I think my subconsciousness played a big part in that. For (1) I tend to like the extremities of Daniel's parties, so this was a way to be a part of that; (2)I knew when the go-go boys brought me in to be tied to the cross that the sight of what may be perceived as a black Jesus was going to throw many for a loop, and I love shocking people; and lastly (3)it gave me an insight into bondage, and that's something I've never tried before.

I have to admit, I did get quite turned on while up there. I was there on display for the crowd. "I'm all yours, so touch me, rub me, suck me all you want, because I have no say in the matter" is basically what my body was saying while being tied to that cross. And being typical fashion of why I nicknamed myself "The L XTreme" in my non-porn life, it would take an extreme measure to make me try bondage. And the exploration of bondage is what I kept in my head after I agreed to this. My religious convictions did make me question it. But based on the story description, I tried to see it from the gay erotic artist perspective of what if there was some other way for Jesus than to go through such an ordeal. Which is actually a question every person told that Christian tale should have asked themselves at one point or another.

I was on that cross for about 30 - 45 minutes, then I went to enjoy the party. I did make out with one guy who felt me up while I was on the cross. He was so adorable, I had to grab on him what he grabbed on me. I guess that's the part of bondage that makes it hot. All the pent-up energy in your hands to repay your sex partner for all the pleasure he/she gave you, but being unable to reciprocate because you were tied up.

As you can see, I had quite the weekend. I think this weekend will be a more tame one. Believe me, after last week, I need another weekend with that many adrenaline rushes just yet.

Fleshlight Launch

Lust Cinema