Wednesday, March 13, 2019
The title "This Is My Body" originally came to me as an erotic poem idea. But it was incited by seeing a former playmate of mine playing in a backroom with anyone who seemed willing to fuck and be fucked by him. More so the latter. Since my writings have long made it clear that value my body enough to need more than just my constant horniness to give my body to someone, I started working in my head a poem with the scenario of me presenting my body to my playmate or lover. Making it clear them that person that my presenting my body to those was not in the empty vein of that former playmate.
The first couple of lines came to me, but they started to turn. So the original sexy poem are going to be delayed for a bit. For the lyrics became ones telling someone to respect how because it is my body that I have the right to say "No! No, I do not want you".
This was because in that same night, a light-skinned Latino came up to me, and touched my chest. Initially, he was not bad-looking, but something in his energy made me uninterested. And it soon became evident as to what exactly was off-kilt in his energy.
For due to that bad vibe, I calmly moved his hand. Instead of him allowing the reality of how "No means no the 1st time", he touched me again. I felt my porn-induced PTSD being on the verge of a more violent reaction, so I started to walk away. As I was doing so, he added pinching my nipple to the unwanted touch.
We exchanged some words after. One of which led to me calling him a "socially retarded faggot". So evidently, I foresaw the potential for this behavior early on. So much so that it was in his aura. Hence how his initially being "not bad-looking" turned to being officially bad-looking.
I was already starting to work on the above video, but another incident happened just a few days later that made me need to put a rush on publicly releasing these emotions.
I was an at underwear party, and saw someone there who basically sexually assaulted me about 4 years ago. It is quite evident that his obsession with me and social ineptitude has not changed. I wrote a Facebook post the day after telling of one of the previous instances and the most recent. The most recent is what is told in the following excerpt:
This recent incident, I was being a voyeur to the action in the bathroom. I felt a body up against me. Then an unknown penis against my butt. I turned and saw it was him. When I moved to get away from him, he tried matching my position to block me from leaving. I was traumatized for a moment because it made me relive that last confrontation with him those years ago - ending with me throwing him against the wall.
If this is how this person behaves, I'm sure there are indicators of such social ineptitude from him in other spaces. For there is no doubt in my mind that THIS GUY IS A RAPIST.
What saved me was me being sober, and in a space where I was not alone. So I feel sorry for anyone who has been alone with that guy. But even more so, I must question the judgement of the person who brought him there.
This is a shame because such behavior is why people who would like to venture to these sex positive and sexually permissive space do not. And if such people do patronize the space, they cackle like hens hating on everyone who does partake of what the space/event offers. Even if those partaking are doing so showing respect for themselves, their partners, and their fellow patrons.
For all of this to stop, (as stated in a post on my Pied Piper of Sex page) we first must live our lives, especially our sex lives, denouncing the rules instilled in us based on body type, color, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation. But until we get on the same page with that and beyond, whenever someone approaches us with unwanted advances, we will always have the right to say, "NO. FOR THIS IS MY BODY!"
Saturday, March 9, 2019
Yes, the image above is of a male putting his hand on a female's neck. But it is to push her away from an intrusion that sex party patrons, regardless of their gender or orientation have had to contend with. To the point that some of you may have actually done it yourself, or at the very least, considered it.
For if you've ever been to a sex party or backroom, there is no doubt that you have witnessed (as the top or voyeur) someone putting their hand on the head of the person giving a blowjob. Or perhaps, you have been the person whose head gets shoved into the crotch of your playmate by this overzealous voyeur. A voyeur who needs to get a life, instead of living vicariously through you.
Why do I speak of such a person so harshly? For a number of reasons that I am extremely unapologetic for. And if you are the person who has done such touching on a blowjob bottom, then you need to take a seat and learn why what you are doing is so wrong.
First of all, you were most likely not invited to this grouping. It is over 95% likely to have originated as a coupling, not a 3-way. And even if it is 2 people on one cock, the cock being sucked is not yours. Therefore, unless it is your partner being sucked, you have no idea what cocksucking rhythm pleases him. So you are being disruptive to the cocksucker finding the right technique to please their playmate, and you're also disruptive to the person being sucked. Especially if a pleasing rhythm and technique have been found and executed before your interference.
Some move the head with the innocent intention of assisting the pair enjoying an oral sex session. However, as they say, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". With that said, regardless of your polite intentions, you are still violating their session and personal space. Also, you are wasting time by living vicariously through them. So you really need to keep your hands to yourself.
In my experience though, the way the person interfering pushes the head of the cocksucker is usually not in a way that shows that they on some level want to assist. The one interfering often pushes the head with the kind of force that comes from pent-up energy finally finding a release. The problem is that, as stated before, they were not invited. And they are so socially inept in approaching the situation that they become intrusive and overly aggressive with not just one, but 2 people's bodies.
I have experienced this enough that I was seething when I saw the scene in a PartyHardcore video that I made this GIF from:
If such aggressive pushing comes from the partner of either the blowjob giver or receiver, it is safe to suspect that there is some under-discussed jealousy issues between that couple claiming to be some degree of open. In such a case, be you the sucker or suckee, it is just best to remove yourself from the situation. A fight between the couple might happen whether you stay or go, but the jealousy issue causing that fight will not be your problem either way. It is theirs. Regarding a matter they should have addressed before putting themselves in that environment and situation. Therefore, you have no need to bear witness to it.
While I didn't mention it before, sometimes the pushing is done to the one receiving the blowjob. An intrusive voyeur will touch the lower back or ass of the guy getting a blowjob, and push him into the cocksucker. I suspect the one giving the blowjob is usually the initial target for intrusion because of the chauvinistic (therefore idiotic) mindset that makes sex all about serving the male penis. So being a cocksucker becomes looked upon as a role of lesser power. Well, I proudly proclaim that I feel no less empowered when I go down on a guy. In fact, I feel more empowered. For my mouth makes him satisfied, and the receiver's satisfaction makes me satisfied.
In any case, interruption of a pair's oral session makes a swift response to make the pushing of the cocksucker's head cease become a justified response. So don't be like that intrusive, pushy chick in the gif. For like her, you receiving such a response to intruding upon a couple (as that guy did her) will be one well deserved.
Saturday, March 2, 2019
After midnight on Friday, I wrote this post on my Facebook page:
After riding the Latino's beautiful cock, we parted ways. I then went and sat on a stool at the bar. Not too long after though, I could see from there that a go-go boy was trying to give the Latino a lap dance. The lap dance might have even led to some fucking over there. But it was definitely the case in an area behind a curtain closer to the bar, as I went for a closer look.
Trust me, my need to go in closer was not jealousy of any kind. My need to investigate was because I suspected a trend. The trend I stated in the caption of the Instagram pic below:
So this was the 3 time such a thing has happened in the past 4 or 5 months. It's common for fellow patrons in a sex party/backroom to scramble to be the next one to ride on the dick that just pleased you because your ass pleased him. But it's another social disorder present when that many go-go boys do the same thing in such a span of time.
Over the past few months, I have had not 1, not 2, but 3 instances when I'm bottoming with a hottie in a #gaybar backroom, and the #gogoboy witnessing it needs to be next. Since my verbal and physical reactions were the most noticeable parts of the encounter, it was literally my #ass that sold those #gogoboys on straying from their job to try getting a taste of what I was enjoying. And for Gogo #1, that's continued straying. And you probably thought only #bottoming #gaypornstars could sell you on a top's #cock. A blog post on "L's X-Ray Vision" will soon give more details. * #gaynightlife #backroom #jealousy #envy #sexualwhiteentitlement #racisminthegaycommunity #sexualracismA post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier71) on
What's wrong is that their behavior reaffirms my observations from over 7 years ago. About how today's go-go boys don't stick to being solely eye candy. And while most go-go boys are millennials, many let their horniness be governed by the narcissism and sense of entitlement numerous articles have shown that millennials have come to be known for. A work ethic is not as much in their performance as it should be, or as they might claim it is.
I'm sure this next suspicion is going to cause some of you to say, "Oh, here he goes with that again!", But the fact is many white and light-complexioned males have long tried to either be the "next and better" sex partner, or out right steal a playmate from a person of color. Yes, they play the same game with other white/light complexioned people. However, every medium to dark complexioned Black, Latino, or Middle Easterner, and Asian reading this has probably experienced this at some point, and a good deal more often.
Case in point:
At the after party that inspired my Thotyssey article, "Fetch My Drugs, Fetch My Fuck", I was the sole Black guy invited. Always having a White/light Latino playmate. When one guest would start playing with someone who came as part of a pair or grouping, all of the members of that initial pair or grouping was always added to being played with, but they were all either white or light skinned Latino. But when one of the guest tried playing with the guy my +1 (since I was the one initially invited), they tried acting like I wasn't even in the room.
Luckily, it never erupted into a conflict because the playmates I brought there were loyal enough to me to not leave me out, and tried including me when the white/light guy wouldn't bother. Looking back, I wonder does that have to do with them being European. Because I have not had such a high percentage of loyalty from American white males. But that's another topic.
My point is that all of these go-go boys are either white American or Latino. So it's only natural that they would be suspected of that same self-serving mindset. Especially by being a go-go boy, many looked upon as sex gods, and they know it.
If this is not the case with all 3, it is definitely the case with Go-go Boy #1. For while I was bottoming for the guy he wanted, he was actually trying to chat away with my top to get him away from me. This just goes to show that you can give a white boy (even one with a big dick) a gig that portrays him as a sex god, but he can still exhibit the racist white male insecurity towards a Black male's sexuality.
For no man is a sex god, whatever color he may be. And no matter what media hype tells us, the deepest part of our conscience knows that limitation to be true.
Now, let's address the title of this article. It's because when you think about it, most fans of penetrating male porn actors are sold on that male not by his actions solely, if at all. They are more sold on that male porn actor by the reactions of the person they are performing sex acts on/with.
In my cases:
#1 was a combo of him thrusting into my ass from behind, and me thrusting on his dick;
#2 was mostly me riding the guy's dick, and;
#3 was me solely riding the guy's dick.
So the majority of action and reaction that made these go-go boys strive for a turn came from me. Therefore, it was my ass and my top's reaction to my ass that sold those go-go boys on my playmate's cock to the point that they wanted to be next in line. Much like a penetrated pornstar, but better than a penetrated pornstar because I didn't need to get paid in order to do it. It was a natural sexual chemistry leading to my natural fun expressed.
It is definitely an ego boost to realize that the way I fuck, in this case, as a bottom, that I can make even the guys portrayed as sex gods want the playmate that I had obtained. And it may be a degree of envy involved. For those go-go boys' trysts after mine came more so from them dancing on that box. A perch for them to be noticed. Meanwhile, my trysts with those playmates came simply from me being in the room... at floor level like my playmates. Knowing recognition is a possibility, but not seeking it when they approached me. 😁😎😉😘
Friday, February 1, 2019
In our feeling each other up, he went for both my dick and ass just as much as I went for his. So I decided to do what I always do with a guy, even if he focuses more on my back than my front, or vice versa. I asked him if he was a top, bottom, or versatile.
It's unfortunate how the ignorant sexual roles based on color/ethnicity and body weight/height imposed upon us in the gay community by gay media forms made me fear I wouldn't trust him once he answered. For he was white, shorter than me, and our feel-up session informed my hand that he had an ass to die for on that smaller frame of his. So the racist sexpectations of me that I've experienced so many times before had me prepared for him to say that he was a bottom.
Instead, he said he was versatile (like me), but (unlike me) more of a top. From that moment, he didn't earn my complete trust in his character, but he earned a hell of a lot more than a white guy of any height saying he was a bottom. Because at least I knew by confessing to me he was more of a top, I knew for certain that he wasn't another gay white male taught by porn as to what a Black male's role should be during an interracial sexual encounter.
Some of you reading this are probably thinking that by bringing this up that I'm exasperating the racism. Such accusations come from 2 types of people:
- non-blacks who refuse to understand and;
- blacks who falsely validate their sex appeal by an interracial sexual encounter. Lowering themselves to becoming complacent in allowing those non-blacks to continue to not understand.
But I necessarily digress.
After he told me he was more of a top, I lit up. Because that's actually what I wanted from him. We continued making out for a bit. Then went back upstairs to the bar for a drink. He then extended an invitation back to his place to which I graciously accepted.
We got back to his place. He asked if I wanted something to drink. I chose water. He stepped out and came back. After a quick sip, we immediately stripped off our clothes. I saw that fit physique of his in his underwear, and it only made me want his body to connect with mine even more. For his dick to be a key, and my asshole to be the keyhole by which entry of his key can unlock my horniness and his.
We started making out, and he put me on his bed. We continued making out, then he asked a question that threw me for a bit. He asked, "Do you like to get fisted?"
In my blogging over the years, I have put up much fuss as to how out of love for my tight hole, I would never try it. Then I remembered an interracial couple that lived in Harlem where each of them tried fisting me, and only got up to their knuckles. But through them I began to change my tune.
For I started realizing that I allowed them to get that far because I was so into them that I wanted their bodies inside mine in every way possible. So from that point on, I knew someday, I would get completely fisted. But that night was not the night.
So I thought that this night was going to be the night. Because I was that intensely into him. So to answer his question, I told him, "Not completely. But I'm willing to let you try."
And he did, He lubed up his hand heavily. He tried going in, and at first, only got as far as the couple in Harlem. He then offered me some poppers. Breaking my long-standing anti-poppers rule, I must confess that I took him up on his offer. And trust me, I am not proud that I did.
My head felt the usual light-headedness that I've come to know (and loathe) even by a contact high from poppers. However, even though I took a huff, I was still determined to prove the point I made in all of my anti-poppers articles. I then took a deep breath, and he started moving his hand around inside me. I had no idea as to how deep inside he was. However deep it was though, it did feel good. And this was not the high from the poppers talking because by the time I acknowledged the pleasure I was feeling, the high from the poppers had worn off.
Then it suddenly became too much. So I had him stop. I could see in his beautiful light eyes that he wanted to keep going, but he did what a real man would do. He listened to me listening to my body and stopped.
Afterwards, I asked him how far had he gotten inside me. It felt like he was all the way in, and while he was doing it, I saw none of his hand. So I asked to be sure. He said, "Another 10 seconds, and I would have been all the way in."
It wasn't what I expected to hear, but I was still both shock and disappointed at the same time. It's because I see now that I am capable of allowing someone to try fisting me IF my sexual attraction to them is intense enough. So I now do hope to try that again sometime.
I also learned that even if a full-on fisting doesn't happen, the attempt alone makes me horny as fuck for that fist to be immediately replaced by my playmate's cock. So we gave that a try. My playmate took off his underwear, and I could see his reflection in the window. So I was ready to look at a live porn show starring my playmate and my ass.
Unfortunately, my playmate drank too much and was unable to perform. And I was not at all mad. Disappointed, yes. But not mad. For he seemed completely sober. It was just a case where whiskey dick didn't hit during the initial act to cause excitement. It hit numerous acts to cause excitement. A situation I have experienced myself after a drink or 2 and intense foreplay. Especially on an empty stomach.
So we didn't fuck... That night.
A few weeks later, we ran into each other at a gay bar. With gay male's bad reputation for thinking of their playmates as disposable from life and memory, I expected him to not remember me if he saw me. It turns out he did remember me. Greeting me when he saw me. And from that we started making out again. This time, we didn't wait. We found a corner in the backroom, he undid his pants, and I immediately went down on him. While I was sucking his dick, I undid my pants and reached into my pouch and lubed my ass. Perfect timing. Because once he got rock hard, he picked me up, and turned me around with a quickness. Snatched down my pants. Put a spit lube on his cock, and put it in my ass.
He thrusted away at my hole. I reached back a few times to squeeze his nice ass as it flexed while he plowed into me. I grinded my ass on his cock a few times also because when I bottom, I am not a lazy bottom. There were guys watching this, but they were of no concern. However, my always multi-tasking mind did realize something about the crowd that was wrong, but too familiar.
With racism in the gay community being alive and well, the initial optics of this gorgeous shorter White man putting, then thrusting his eager cock inside a slightly taller Black man with an equally eager hole stunned many enough to make them look. But just for a moment. For many of the white guys, once the sexual racism ingrained in their so-called minds made them realize they were seeing something that "broke the rules", they left. So in my haze from the pleasure of my playmate's dick in my ass, I noticed that we were surrounded by mostly men of color.
I didn't really give a damn about whether the crowd watched or not. As far as I'm concerned, as in all my public sexual escapades, the mood to fuck hit me and a hot guy in a space I could release the tension, so I took advantage of the space and time. Whether or not people are there, or if they watch is not a necessity to make me do what I do. Therefore voyeurs are of no concern to me for the sex to be satisfying.
And speaking of satisfying, my playmate thrusted in my hole until I felt those throbs of a man's cock that I love to feel when bottoming. He shot his raw load into my ass. So I finally got that ass pounding from him that I had been craving since the night he was just 10 seconds away from completely fisting me.
So now, I'm wondering when I will experience that full-on fisting. If it happens, that next time I am determined to do it without the slightest bit of poppers. For I allowed myself to stray from my rules once, but it will not be a constant thing. Because within my loathing for hypocrisy, I view poppers as a hazardous crutch. So if I can't get fisted without poppers, then I am not meant to be fisted.