Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Nathaniel, R-U A Rapist?

For the first time in awhile, I went to the NYC gay bar, The Eagle for their Jockstrap Happy Hour. At this event, proceeds go to a charity by way of a $5 cover as most patrons strip down to usually a jockstrap or some other kind of underwear and enjoy cocktails, beers, conversation, and flirtation. Most guests from my experience partake of these things well and act respectfully towards one another's personal space. However, there is often someone with such a rabid level of social ineptitude that they can ruin it for someone.

Well, on this night, the name of the person with the rabid social ineptitude was Nathaniel.

I paid my cover and entered the bar. In less than a minute, this tall, slim black male came up to me introducing himself by saying "Hi, I'm Nathaniel". Even though I don't know my degree of celebrity, knowing that I have some at all still makes me wonder if such an abrupt introduction is either a social media follower or someone seeing me as an Average Joe.

He immediately offered to buy me a drink, and I refused. I shouldn't have to explain why I refused. However, since using one another is such a commonality in gay society endorsed by its media, nightlife, and porn, An explanation for my refusal is necessary before I continue.

When a guy offers to buy you a drink, he wants something. If you don't want conversation with him, don't accept the drink. If you don't want to kiss him, don't accept the drink. If you don't want to end up having sex with him,... DON'T ACCEPT THE FUCKING DRINK!!! So in practicing what I preach, I refused. Because your sex appeal in that person's eye (and/or their desperation) is what got you the offer. And I'm not going to let my sex appeal get me something from someone who I know wants something in return, but I have no intent of giving what they want to them. That's what justifies Karma's action when she takes your sex appeal away by way of your subconscious guilt making you age poorly.

Anyway, after my refusal, he persisted in trying to talk to me. I said I just got here, and I wanted to settle myself first. He seemed to get the hint. He told me to enjoy my evening, then walked away. As I was waiting, I was so in a rush to get in the bar that I forgot I needed to use the restroom. So I went. When I returned, I went to the opposite end of the bar. Once there, Nathaniel came back, and started talking to me again. And it wasn't like he was approaching me out of drunkenness that made him forget we met just a few minutes earlier. He was well aware that we spoke before because this time, he did not introduce himself.

In response to whatever he said, there were many things I said that made it clear that if I was to entertain his company at any point, that moment was not the time. Such as how a few times when he said that it seems like I had a wall up, one time I responded by saying, "I do. Because I don't know. It comes down the more I get to know you." In whatever various ways I said that, I told him the truth each time. Another time in his rambling I responded by telling him, "When I first walk into a space, I like to assess the room. Get a feel for it. And to focus and get an honest assessment, I like to do that alone. Hence why I often go places solo."

He still kept talking to me. In fact, he even furthered his closing into my personal space. For most of the time, he was leaning against the bar with his left hand. Leaning into me at a less than 45 degree angle, which was inciting my porn-induced PTSD to do something drastic.

With hindsight being 20/20, I think one of the things that saved him from a heinous reaction was the fact that my porn-induced PTSD is incited more by being actually touched, which even in his close proximity to my body, he never did.

As he kept getting such responses from me defending my justified personal space, he became unjustly defensive in both his verbal responses, and his body language. Such as how he went from the less than 45 degree lean to taking his other hand and putting it on the other side of me, closing me in.

The whole encounter had me so annoyed that I only remember bit and pieces of what he said. At that moment all I recall is that he was asking me how old I was. I told him that I would tell him if he would stop trying to corner me. Me having to negotiate for my personal space to avoid responding with a physically violent reaction made his existence more insignificant with every letter of every word he spoke and every millimeter of his movement. For he was trying to close me in to possess my time and space.

Now, as a Black man in the racist clusterfuck that is the American gay community, I am more than a little aware of how disregarded a black male can feel. Especially when we have been passed aside for white/light-complexioned guys by someone claiming to like, or even love us. In every scenario from a backroom tryst to a long-term relationship. However, the accumulation of such hits does not justify Nathaniel (or any other black male) imposing upon someone's personal space. Especially not in that fashion. And especially not the personal space of a stranger --- what I was to Nathaniel.

With all this said, I must publicly ask Nathaniel this...

Nathaniel, are you a rapist? Have you called yourself having a conversation with a person giving only a few inches, instead of at least a foot between that person and yourself? Have you gotten defensive when they ask you to back up? Even if they ask with the utmost politeness? Have you gotten defensive when their polite words show they would rather be left alone?

I must ask these questions because based on your behavior on the night of April 19, 2019, you have all the makings of a rapist. Repetitious in executing power moves upon the personal space of a person you have no claim to. So if you don't fix this behavior now, I expect to hear news of you being accused, arrested, indicted, tried, and convicted in due time.

I actually hope you have done no such extent of harm to someone. But if you have, I hope this article inspires them to come forward.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Open Letter To A Jealous Cunt From The Cock

The other night at The Cock, I ran into a guy I've made out with a couple of times before there. He told me that after our last meeting, a guy that he had never met before came up to him right after I left and said to him, "That guy you were with... He has AIDS."

So the following is my open letter response to whomever this guy is who said that about me...

Dear Jealous Cunt From The Cock,

I understand you told a playmate of mine that I have AIDS. To correct you, I do not have AIDS. I am HIV+. And to top it off, I am undetectable, and have been for a number of years now. So I am untrasmittable, and probably much to your chagrin, nowhere near death due to HIV, AIDS, or any other disease for that matter. For also probably much to your chagrin, I am in great health.

Perhaps you said that I had AIDS without knowing about my publicly revealing my HIV+ status. If such is the case, then you're just an envious asshole.

However, if you did tell that lie because of coming across my online revelation, then you're not only an asshole. You're also a fucking idiot.

For like I said, I publicly revealed my HIV+ status already. I uploaded a video to my Vimeo, then shared it via my Facebook & Twitter, posted a snippet on my Instagram account, wrote a post about that revelation on my blog, and recently made it an ongoing series with an article on KinksterMag. So even if I didn't tell him about my status at that time, which I did not, I had already put it in enough places online that it was only a matter of time before he found out. Whether by my revealing it to him directly, or his discovering it by chance.

With that said, I must say THANK YOU.

For you maliciousness gave me the opportunity to reveal to him the truth of my status. The reason I hadn't said anything to him thus far about my being HIV+ is because for me, one of the gifts of being undetectable is that my HIV+ status is no longer on the forefront of my mind in my social meetings. I take my medication everyday, and it is no longer a weight weighing on my mind. I drink, but don't get drunk. Nor do I do do drugs. So I am not doing anything that can be counterproductive to my HIV treatment.

That is why as I turn 48 this Sunday, I can look this good, and be healthier than many 20 and 30-somethings who drink excessively and do drugs. Here is a recent picture to remind you:

Now, the ignorance and internal ugliness that it took for you to make such a statement about me to a stranger makes one question if you can say the same as I about your alcohol and/or drug intake. Were you drunk? Were you high?

Actually,... who gives a fuck?! Whether you are substance-free of not, your action was a clear display of your ENVY. Your UGLY SOUL. You being CUNTy.

Whether you were lusting for me, or lusting for my playmate, you lost your shot at both. For if you at some point wanted me, this has definitely sealed your fate that there will never be a "we" between you and me. And my playmate's reaction to your actions shows he has no interest in you either.

Hence why FYI -  He and I are still cool.

So next time you want to try a move like this, I strongly advise you to not only get your facts straight. But make sure I never learn who you are.

You see, if your story was created by reading my blog at all, then out of your maliciousness, you have conveniently ignored the history of my blogging. One that has a history of putting gay bars, clubs, media sites, porn studios, porn actors, and their  managers on blast by name for their ignorance against me and/or one or more of my communities. So you are not safe from being dealt the same if I ever learn who you are.

The only thing saving you from being put on blast with photos and links to your social media now is the fact that my playmate did not point you out to me. And I think he's nice enough not to. But if he ever does, you had better pray that I don't know you well enough by name and/or face. Otherwise, everyone will know by name how hideous you are on the inside, which in many's eyes will make its way to the outside. That is if it hasn't already.

So your best bet to avoid a more public well-deserved public shaming that this open letter is show yourself, and come to me like a man with an honest apology. Have a good day.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

THIS Is MY Body - Lesson To Invaders


The title "This Is My Body" originally came to me as an erotic poem idea. But it was incited by seeing a former playmate of mine playing in a backroom with anyone who seemed willing to fuck and be fucked by him. More so the latter. Since my writings have long made it clear that value my body enough to need more than just my constant horniness to give my body to someone, I started working in my head a poem with the scenario of me presenting my body to my playmate or lover. Making it clear them that person that my presenting my body to those was not in the empty vein of that former playmate.

The first couple of lines came to me, but they started to turn. So the original sexy poem are going to be delayed for a bit. For the lyrics became ones telling someone to respect how because it is my body that I have the right to say "No! No, I do not want you".

This was because in that same night, a light-skinned Latino came up to me, and touched my chest. Initially, he was not bad-looking, but something in his energy made me uninterested. And it soon became evident as to what exactly was off-kilt in his energy.

For due to that bad vibe, I calmly moved his hand. Instead of him allowing the reality of how "No means no the 1st time", he touched me again. I felt my porn-induced PTSD being on the verge of a more violent reaction, so I started to walk away. As I was doing so, he added pinching my nipple to the unwanted touch.

We exchanged some words after. One of which led to me calling him a "socially retarded faggot". So evidently, I foresaw the potential for this behavior early on. So much so that it was in his aura. Hence how his initially being "not bad-looking" turned to being officially bad-looking.

I was already starting to work on the above video, but another incident happened just a few days later that made me need to put a rush on publicly releasing these emotions.

I was an at underwear party, and saw someone there who basically sexually assaulted me about 4 years ago. It is quite evident that his obsession with me and social ineptitude has not changed. I wrote a Facebook post the day after telling of one of the previous instances and the most recent. The most recent is what is told in the following excerpt:

This recent incident, I was being a voyeur to the action in the bathroom. I felt a body up against me. Then an unknown penis against my butt. I turned and saw it was him. When I moved to get away from him, he tried matching my position to block me from leaving. I was traumatized for a moment because it made me relive that last confrontation with him those years ago - ending with me throwing him against the wall.

If this is how this person behaves, I'm sure there are indicators of such social ineptitude from him in other spaces. For there is no doubt in my mind that THIS GUY IS A RAPIST.

What saved me was me being sober, and in a space where I was not alone. So I feel sorry for anyone who has been alone with that guy. But even more so, I must question the judgement of the person who brought him there.

This is a shame because such behavior is why people who would like to venture to these sex positive and sexually permissive space do not. And if such people do patronize the space, they cackle like hens hating on everyone who does partake of what the space/event offers. Even if those partaking are doing so showing respect for themselves, their partners, and their fellow patrons.

For all of this to stop, (as stated in a post on my Pied Piper of Sex page) we first must live our lives, especially our sex lives, denouncing the rules instilled in us based on body type, color, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation. But until we get on the same page with that and beyond, whenever someone approaches us with unwanted advances, we will always have the right to say, "NO. FOR THIS IS MY BODY!"

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Sex Party Etiquette: YOUR Hard-Up Rhythm Is Not OUR Rhythm


Yes, the image above is of a male putting his hand on a female's neck. But it is to push her away from an intrusion that sex party patrons, regardless of their gender or orientation have had to contend with. To the point that some of you may have actually done it yourself, or at the very least, considered it.

For if you've ever been to a sex party or backroom, there is no doubt that you have witnessed (as the top or voyeur) someone putting their hand on the head of the person giving a blowjob. Or perhaps, you have been the person whose head gets shoved into the crotch of your playmate by this overzealous voyeur. A voyeur who needs to get a life, instead of living vicariously through you.

Why do I speak of such a person so harshly? For a number of reasons that I am extremely unapologetic for. And if you are the person who has done such touching on a blowjob bottom, then you need to take a seat and learn why what you are doing is so wrong.

First of all, you were most likely not invited to this grouping. It is over 95% likely to have originated as a coupling, not a 3-way. And even if it is 2 people on one cock, the cock being sucked is not yours. Therefore, unless it is your partner being sucked, you have no idea what cocksucking rhythm pleases him. So you are being disruptive to the cocksucker finding the right technique to please their playmate, and you're also disruptive to the person being sucked. Especially if a pleasing rhythm and technique have been found and executed before your interference.

Some move the head with the innocent intention of assisting the pair enjoying an oral sex session. However, as they say, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". With that said, regardless of your polite intentions, you are still violating their session and personal space. Also, you are wasting time by living vicariously through them. So you really need to keep your hands to yourself.

In my experience though, the way the person interfering pushes the head of the cocksucker is usually not in a way that shows that they on some level want to assist. The one interfering often pushes the head with the kind of force that comes from pent-up energy finally finding a release. The problem is that, as stated before, they were not invited. And they are so socially inept in approaching the situation that they become intrusive and overly aggressive with not just one, but 2 people's bodies.

I have experienced this enough that I was seething when I saw the scene in a PartyHardcore video that I made this GIF from:






If such aggressive pushing comes from the partner of either the blowjob giver or receiver, it is safe to suspect that there is some under-discussed jealousy issues between that couple claiming to be some degree of open. In such a case, be you the sucker or suckee, it is just best to remove yourself from the situation. A fight between the couple might happen whether you stay or go, but the jealousy issue causing that fight will not be your problem either way. It is theirs. Regarding a matter they should have addressed before putting themselves in that environment and situation. Therefore, you have no need to bear witness to it.

While I didn't mention it before, sometimes the pushing is done to the one receiving the blowjob. An intrusive voyeur will touch the lower back or ass of the guy getting a blowjob, and push him into the cocksucker. I suspect the one giving the blowjob is usually the initial target for intrusion because of the chauvinistic (therefore idiotic) mindset that makes sex all about serving the male penis. So being a cocksucker becomes looked upon as a role of lesser power. Well, I proudly proclaim that I feel no less empowered when I go down on a guy. In fact, I feel more empowered. For my mouth makes him satisfied, and the receiver's satisfaction makes me satisfied.

In any case, interruption of a pair's oral session makes a swift response to make the pushing of the cocksucker's head cease become a justified response. So don't be like that intrusive, pushy chick in the gif. For like her, you receiving such a response to intruding upon a couple (as that guy did her) will be one well deserved.

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