Monday, June 26, 2017

Who Is My Message of Resistance at The Pleasure Chest For?

NYC's Gay Pride was yesterday. I spent the day working with The Pleasure Chest as part of their street team. Handing out paint paddles, fans, condoms, and buttons.

Before that, we wrote names of LGBTQ inspirations and messages of resistance. I chose to do a message of resistance, much like the one I did on the window of the Upper East Side location.

I'm sure most names of inspirations and messages of resistance will at the most cause a fellow member of the LGBT community to in some way scream "YAAASSS!", with little chance of an anti-LGBT pedestrian even looking up to see the message to put them on notice. And such a more out gay presence near the West Village location, I chose to write the message:


It is a message that might not only make a fellow member of the LGBT community scream the aforementioned, but more so stop them in their tracks and make them see a mirror. A mirror they might not want to look in.

For that look at themselves might show how supporters of this country's present shit-show of a presidential administration are not the only ones exhibiting behaviors that need messages of resistance. Sad to say, but members of the LGBT community itself are also culprits.

If you don't think so, then please read on...

RACISM Almost every LGBT hero and/or sex symbol we are bombarded with is white. Or they are a light person of color that gay media uses to claim they are not racist when in fact they are. Even though there are plenty of medium to dark people of color who have accomplished just as great (or better) a feat, or been just as great (or even stronger) a voice.

As I have stated in the past, Queerty and  Instinct is such a perpetrator of this, and has gotten so cowardly in facing those who follow my lead in calling them out on it, they both have blocked me from commenting.

Also, most recently, the racial insensitivity to Philadelphia's unveiling of a gay flag including the colors of black and brown makes those white and assimilating people of color who claim to be anti-Trump to be the biggest of hypocrites. Ones whose souls are at a level of disgust that there are no words to describe how deplorable they make their existence. This is not to say that I didn't have my own feelings about it, but it was nothing compared to the racial insensitivity and selling out that I saw online from our own.

AGEISM The ageism in the LGBT community is also deplorable. For why is it immediately assumed when I walk into a gay bar, that because I'm over 30 that I'm to buy a 20-something a drink? Why do porn companies like Icon Male and Naked Sword prey upon the maladjustment of many gay males' daddy issues by sexualizing them, being one of those inciting those 20-somethings to make a fetish out of me for my age. Porn has done that to me enough for the color of my skin. I don't need porn doing it to me because of my age as well.

Also, why is it that when a model call is put out that as good as I and others 30+ have maintained themselves, we are denied the gig simply because of our age. Yet some of us have the looks, stamina, and discipline to get the job done better than the white/light 20-somethings hired?

Case in point with an example that compounds both ageism and racism.- There have been many nights when I've go-go danced in my 40s, and didn't stop dancing for 1.5 - 2 hours after I started. Meanwhile, many of these young white go-go boys today act so entitled that they get on the dancing box for 5 - 10 minutes, and then they disappear, and are hired again.

SEXISM The sexism in the LGBT community is also out of control. For there is no excuse for a female to be questioned about her presence in a male-dominated gay bar when she is with her gay best friend. Or when she is being so civilized, you wouldn't notice her unless you stood next to her, and/or she politely said "Hello". Yet, there are many gay males who get their knickers in a ball-crunching twist when she is civilized.  I know many females come in with their overcompensating flamboyant male friends. But let the female show themselves before judging them. The same way you don't want to be judge based on the behavior of a few bad seed gay males in our community.

This sexism also translates into transphobia. The kind of transphobia that makes transgender people not tell you they are transgender until after the fact. Such as the instance I spoke of in my Thotyssey post, "X-Ray Sex: The Transgender Surprise".

So you see, the message of resistance is not only necessary to be addressed to the racism, sexual assaults, misogyny, and narcissism that presently runs our country. It also needs to be addressed to ourselves. And it's a reason why there are gays considering strapping themselves into some form of a "Conversion Therapy Horror Chair".

Friday, June 23, 2017

I'm Mr. Handsome NYC 2017

This past Wednesday, I took part in a contest held at the NYC club, Paddles. It was to crown a winner to be named Mr. Handsome NYC 2017.

If you're any degree a loyal follower of this blog, then you're probably aware that Handsome NYC is the name of a sex party held Wednesday nights at Paddles, and at Rainbow Playground on Sundays. And yes, this contest is from the same host.

A contest that I won. Yes, I am the reigning Mr. Handsome NYC 2017.

The reason I kept silent about my participation in the contest is because:
1) I didn't want to jinx my chances, and;
2) unlike contests like Mr. Nude York, in order to win, I wasn't reliant upon fan attendance to counter the white/light favoring and black fetishizing racism in much of NYC's gay nightlife patronage. The Mr. Handsome NYC Contest was chosen by a panel of judges. Some of whom judged the Mr. Paddles contests that I've entered and lost in the past. Losses, like mine to Mr. Paddles 2016 Mickey Carpathio, which I know I deserved.

Well this time, I am at last a contest winner. And being a winner in most pageant-like contests, there is a responsibility to be carried out by me. Such is the case with this contest.

For during my reign as Mr. Handsome NYC 2017, I have the responsibility of hosting at least one fundraising party at Paddles.

So yes, this will be my chance to as I have always considered, to host a sex party. In my mind, I am already choosing music to play, and video clips to show during the party. All I need now is a charity or organization to benefit, and then to set a date.

So THANKS to the producer, MC, judges, contestants, and all of my supporters, past, present, and future.
And once I choose this fundraiser's charity and set a date, if you're in NYC, I do hope to see you there. Fucking for a fuckin' good cause!

Let me close with this Facebook post of news of my post-win celebrating.

This story should not come as a surprise. After all, I was at Paddles.
A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier) on

Friday, June 16, 2017

Return To Porn?...But My Butt Demands

On September 23, 2009, I officially announced my retirement from studio-based gay porn. Have I ever wanted to make a comeback? All of the time. I love being naked, and I love being an exhibitionist. So on initial thought, I'm quite often ready to throw my name back in the hat.

What stops me is my nature of always seeing the big picture. Whether the vision comes in a split second or over a few months, when I get an idea in my head, I always look to see the chains leading to, and more importantly, the chains resulting from my actions if I dare to proceed.

The reason I had issues with the gay porn industry before is because they refused to acknowledge their responsibility in influencing gay male sexual behavior. Well, I mean when it suits their pockets anyway. I've named names of some of the guilty parties enough times in the past, so I don't need to do it again.

Now, if I ever was to make a return, my butt would have certain demands. Why my butt? Well let that start off my list by saying, MY BUTT DEMANDS:

1) Staying a Bottom On Camera
The porn industry seemed to finally take my advice about using black bottom when the Recession hit. I'm sure it was because the Recession made porn studios get desperate to find something their so-called minds called "new" to show porn viewers. This change of more black males bottoming ran for a bit. However, once the economy got back on track, many studios went right back to the same old formula for interracial porn of uber-aggressive black gorilla nigger tops with a wincing, whiny white or light Latino bottom.

Now, while I do see an improvement, the damage from black porn actors and their low self-esteem still accepting parts in racist scenarios is still visible. Thw results can easily be seen at sex parties, bar backrooms, and on hook-up websites and apps. As racist whites and other non-blacks claiming to not be racist, YET they're on the hunt for #BBC (Big Black Cock).

I'm a more confident and skilled top now than I was back then, and could be one of the few black tops in porn showing some civility to non-blacks during sex. However, because I still see that lacking of black bottoms with non-blacks in porn and transferring into the real world, if I returned to porn, I would return as a bottom.

2) Genuine Attraction
I have never been an escort, but when I did gay porn, the ratio of those porn actors who escorted and those who didn't (like myself) was 50/50. Now, that ratio has grown to a much higher percentage of porn actors also escorting. And I didn't then, nor do I now want to have sex with prostitutes. I want the sex I have on camera to be with exhibitionists, like myself. I need to know that my scene partner is really into me. Him putting his beautiful cock in my ass, or him giving me his hole to fill to not be first and foremost about it being a job. I want us both to view the sex for that video in the same way I view a career - something you would do for free, with money as a fringe benefit.

Now, while a scene with an escort is not my 1st choice, I'm not totally ruling it out. For I could do a scene with a guy(s) who escorts. The catch is he would have to be someone I've at the least made out with before when I met him off the clock and/or unaware of his escorting. That way I can guarantee myself great sex that our audience wouldn't have to (even subconsciously) wonder about whether or not our chemistry is real.

3) Little to No Acting
Porn sex is real sex. It's not a simulated scene like Heath Ledger's supposed spit-lube fucking of Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback Mountain". Gay porn is real dicks in real asses. And the only acting should be the dialogue to set up the fantasy. Everything from the come-hither eyes to the passion of the 1st kiss to the orgasms should be real.

With that said, I would personally like to cut the bullshit chatter, and get right to showing an audience the action. Much like Dark Alley Media and Treasure Island Media do their scenes. I have had my criticisms of them over time, but I will give credit where credit is due.

4) No pullouts
In my bottoming, I want no pull-outs when my top is cumming. For me to return, be it a condom or bareback scene, the camera-person better find some angle to get a shot of my top's taint and/or cock throbbing when he is cumming. Because I want the audience to see us pleasured how we would be if the cameras were not there. And when I bottom, my tops don't pullout. I get a mental orgasm from feeling his cock throbbing in my ass from his cumming.

The only way I get to see his jizz is by him jerking off.

Yes, I am well aware that this rule would deny viewers to see my sex partner's jizz. Well, as a friend of mine pointed out that the "necessity" for cumshots is because it's seen as proof that the sex happened. Well, as far as I'm concerned... you know the sex happened. You saw it when you watched my top passionately pound the fuck out of me. So there's your proof.

With that, me and my top can freely fuck without him worrying about pulling out when he gets real close to cumming. And if we go bareback, don't expect me to push out a single drop. The most you can hope for is the camera-person getting a shot of a string of cum attached to his dick and the cum he put inside me as he pulls out of my ass. For my tight hole closes up right away. It's loose enough to easily be re-entered by my playmate, but tight enough to hold in his jizz, which it will do without me focusing on it. Because when I let a guy go raw and cum in my ass, it means I'm really into him, and my body instinctively wants to hold any remnants of him that it can after he ejaculates.

Only if all of those demands are met would I return to porn. And I wouldn't do it if a studio only planned to follow these demands for me alone. No. I want these to be their ongoing staples in their productions. Making their porn worth spending money for. Because at the moment, if you tell me that you pirated a studio-based porn movie, you will get no look of disapproval from me. For so many studios doing the opposite of my demands have made their own product not worth the money.

However, I do pause about whether or not to put such an offer for a return out there. For looking at the aforementioned big picture of my life now, I see my life on an upswing since leaving porn. Proof being how the roads leading to a lot of the good going on in my life now started not only when I retired from gay porn, but when I started talking openly and honestly about my good and bad experiences in it. And that open and honest talk came from my poetry reading/Q & A when I read my poetry series, The Industry., which was the when I announced officially retiring calling myself by my porn name "Tré Xavier".

But it is often said to never say never. So if I'm to ever put myself in front of a porn studio's camera, what my butt demands is something that can be summed up in one word.


And the changes my butt requires of the industry for me to come back has yet to happen. Everything from the racial make-up of the cast, to the mindset of today's porn actors, the porn industry has not learned from its past mistakes. It's still a hotbed for the selfish racists, the emotional cowards, the depressed, and the self-loathing, and the substance abusers trying to avoid dealing with how they are 1 or more of the aforementioned, with producers and directors being leeches ready to profit from those woes. So porn actors will keep dying by substance abuse and suicide. Therefore, that negative stigma about the industry won't go away anytime soon.

So until that happens, the gay porn industry can keep being the sinkhole to hell for Broken & Lost Boys. When they get above ground and out of hell, OR fool me enough to think they have by offering my above demands, THEN I'll make a return. And if they succeed at fooling me, I will do what I've always done when I get my wake-up call about a matter halting my growth.

I'll own my fuck-up, and put all involved (myself included) on blast for it.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The Bible of Gay Sex is BLASPHEMY

The publishing company Bruno Gmunder published a book last year titled "The Bible of Gay Sex". I flipped through this book, and all I saw was white and light-complexioned Latino porn actors. Images to say that they are the epitome of sex and sex appeal, and all the rest of us are only worth being their voyeurs. And to be sure, I flipped through this book a number of times to make sure I didn't miss a person of color that wasn't considered "passing" like light-complexioned Latinos are by the white-preferring racists of our community.

I say "white-preferring racists" because in addition to whites, there are Blacks, Middle Easterners, and Asians who have been brainwashed by the racist domination of media, and the racist ignorance of their native cultures to also play a part in perpetrating the idea of "white is right".

In my Aries stubbornness and 6th sense telling me there was a black model to be found, I one day did indeed find a black model. Only one, so it was a bittersweet find, because that meant, as usual, they were practicing tokenism with black males. Then in a fraction of a second, the bittersweet became a little sweeter. For the black model was....bottoming.
Yes, you read correct. A muscular black model bottoming.

Since showing black males bottoming with white sex partners was one of my goals in my getting into gay porn, I was quite happy to see this.

But the remaining fraction of a second made the bittersweet find that turned a tad sweeter fall into being sour then vomit-inducing spoiled. For this muscular black male bottoming in the photo was doing so... while snorting lines of cocaine.

So Bruno Gmunder, saw fit to publish a gay sex education book depicting its sole black male as a drug addict.

With Bruno Gmunder as the book's publisher, that means they have final say. That by no means exonerates those in the chain before this book went to print for their part in this racist depiction of black males during gay sex. In this case, that would be Cazzo Film Berlin, Steffen Kwelke (layout and illustrations), picture editor Simeon Morales, Dolph Caesar (final layout), and Zwei G Consult (production).

My annoyance is because I'm tired of the limiting view of black males. Depictions orchestrated by racist white males and their sexual insecurities. Expanding for the better their depiction of black males in one way, while shitting on us more so than before in another, which in turn evens out to no progress at all. For the sheer purpose in their so-called minds is to still have us blacks "kept in their place". All of this done with these whites having an unjust sense of entitlement thinking that we blacks should not complain, because "at least a black male was featured".

Furthermore, why is the black male the drug abuser? Because based on my many inter-ethnic multi-colored encounters, be they 1-on-1 or in a group with me as the only black male in the room, my sole black self is the only person in the room not participating in substance abuse. Not even poppers. So this false imagery of white/light complexioned males being the epitome of sex and sex appeal really needs to stop. Especially when my position is further proven by how many more white/Latino porn actors die each year than blacks, or how in a bar/club with multi-colored patronage, how more often than blacks is it a white/Latino gay male thrown out for being under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

For those who are really the epitome of sex and sex appeal don't need such substances to invite, incite, or participate in sex. Their natural, untainted sex drive makes all of that happen.

So I am also annoyed by how such imagery and more porn is perpetrating that a bottom can't get through a fuck without substance abuse. Even poppers. And I don't care whether or not what is written in that book counters substance abuse like it should. Due to the aforementioned racist display and negligence on the part of the Bruno Gmunder, and all other parties, this photo in 2016 furthers porn's influence into our sex lives, and not for the better. For it still depicts bottoms as the position of weakness in gay sex. When in fact, such a bottom is not the weakness, but the weaker. For a strong top doesn't want a bottom weak bottom that needs drugs to get through a fuck. Therefore, the top is also weak for tolerating, and most likely inciting the substance abuse, and the bottom is weaker for following.

I predicted "The Bible of Gay Sex" was a racist shit-show as soon as I saw an endorsement on the back cover from of all creatures, Chi Chi LaRue.
With his trifling "Blackballed" series inciting naive white males to make sex with black males a fetish, and a history of movies that make blacks seem otherwise non-existent, therefore unworthy (in his eyes) of sexual notoriety, it's no surprise that he would endorse something putting us black males in a bad light.

With all of that said, I don't care how correct the information on gay sex may or may not be in this book. Because the packaging is DISRESPECTFUL. And I feel every gay male, regardless of their color/ethnicity should feel that way. And in response, boycott buying "The Bible of Gay Sex", and boycott anything from Bruno Gmunder until they cease printing on that edition, and come back with a more respectable edition. One that is way more praising and respectful of color diversity. Like a real book to be considered a "bible" should be.

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