Saturday, May 25, 2019

Evolution of My Bottoming

Back in my porn days, during one of my too many visits to Lucas Entertainment, Michael Lucas asked me if I could cum while being fucked. I told him sometimes. Well, the fact is that was a lie... then.

It's quite rare that I lie, but one of the few times I do is when I'm giving answers about myself that are lies at the time, but will actually be my truth in the future. So the reason I tell the lie is not out of an intent to lie, but because I can foresee that future so clearly that I refuse to verbalize how it is untrue at that present time.

With that said, as much as I hate to lie and being lied to, what I know of Michael Lucas and my own history of dealing with him makes me feel no regret about that lie.

Especially since a recent trip to CumUnion made that lie about myself back then finally become my truth today.

My French playmate pounded away at me, and I realized that my dick was semi-hard. That is not unusual when I bottom. But I am never compelled to jerk off. I'm always about enjoying the dick, and letting that be where all of my sexual pleasure comes from. This time, I decided to go for it. As soon as I started jerking off, I could feel my physical orgasm coming. In fact, it grew in me slowly getting me to the point of ejaculation. And when it happened, I thought, "Oh my God, it's happening! HOW is this happening???".

I could feel the cum start oozing from my dick and onto the side of my finger. Then an even greater shock happened... I wasn't done.

I kept cumming. With the intensity of the orgasms growing, leading my cum load to grow as well. I surmise it was a cumload like the one from me playing with my SackJack.

However, even with that heightened intensity, I still wanted my playmate to keep his dick sliding back and forth in my ass tunnel. He did. And with not one single request to stop from me.


I have never been one who could masturbate while bottoming, then shoot a cumload. I could however do it while using an anal sex toy. With that, I always surmised that it was because, unlike with a human being, while using a sex toy, one doesn't have to focus on an actual human being's needs, desires, and in-the-flesh beauty for sexual fulfillment at that moment. But even without cumming from jerking off during sex, the sex still usually satisfied me. So I resolved myself to how the mental orgasm I spoke of in an article for Thotyssey is what I would always have with a guy.

I always wondered though that if and when I finally jerked off and came while bottoming if I was going to be one of those guys who once they orgasmed, would they end the sex. Thankfully, that was not the case.

This concerned me because as I have said before, if I'm getting good dick, I become an insatiable power bottom.

Keyword - INSATIABLE. Meaning keep going because their is no ending to this pleasure for me.

For I have always loved, loved, LOVED, LOVED  a hot guy's dick in my ass. Hating when the time comes that he has to take it out because life happens.

So I always feared a physical orgasm from my body's penile satisfaction while bottoming would make me go back on my word. Since the typical response to a male's penile orgasm includes an end to the sex. The mental orgasm I get knowing the pleasure my body is giving my sex partner allows the sex to continue.

We later sat cuddled together on the sofa upstairs. Just enjoying sharing a space with each other. I know it sounds romantic, even though it was a sex party. But that's the kind of energy I give off.

My sexual energy gives off my true view of sex - a physical and spiritual connection. Many gay males don't have the depth and/or maturity to handle that even at a sex party. If they're a top, their hard-ons are sparked by guys who they see as empty vessels to take their cock in. And if they're bottoms, they're holes widen for guys who they see as empty vessels who don't really care about in who they put their dicks. In any case, even if they talk to the person, such actions shows that they are drawn to someone who has less respect for their own humanity.

Anyway, we got so comfortable that neither one of us realized that we had both fallen asleep. We woke up because the party's host came upstairs to announce that the venue was preparing for Encore, the after-hours party held Fridays and Saturdays at Paddles. The host saw us on the sofa as he headed back downstairs. Teasing us by asking "When's the wedding?", because the last time my playmate was in New York, we met up at Paddles, and the host saw us cuddled together then as well. Like I said, I give off that kind of sexual energy, and a sweet few are deep and mature enough to embrace it.

Luckily, that nap re-energized us. We saw the after-hours crowd come in and be horny as fuck. We watched, but never got up from the sofa to get involved. I liked his naked skin against mine so I kept stroking his thigh, and occasionally kissing his chest as I leaned on it, and reached up to kiss his neck. The entire time, he kept stroking my shoulder and kissing on me.

Knowing he is inspired by watching people fuck, I started fondling his dick and balls, even before the after-hours crowd arrived. He was getting semi-erect before then. But once the after-hours crowd came in, he got harder, and harder.

What really sparked him into action was how while I was on my playmate's left, a Black guy was getting a blowjob to his right. The Black guy and my playmate started touching each other. The Black guy reached to include me, and I reciprocated by rubbing the smooth skin of his forearm, and reaching across my playmate so I could continue the travel of my hand to reach and massage the Black guy's shoulder.

This went on long enough that my playmate's dick got rock-hard and wanted to fuck my hole yet again. He was trying to include the Black guy by having the Black guy fuck him while he fucked me. You see, my playmate is actually quite skilled in a fuck-train. Hence the following tweet the following afternoon:

However, the Black guy never took my playmate up on the invitation. So it was just me and my playmate once again. That re-energizing nap led to my playmate thrusting into my ass for what must have been about an hour or more in various parts of Paddles. Eventually, he came inside me. I could feel the throbs of his cock as he let out his load. This was when I went back to a mental orgasm. Because at no point during that entire hour (or more) of bottoming did I stroke my cock. I was so turned on by his body in me and on me that I needed nothing else to stimulate me.

In any case, I'm thinking back on the pleasure of both Acts I and II. Learning I can now get off by both a mental and physical orgasm. This leads to new sexual information about my bottoming that I didn't know before.

So now, there is versatility within my versatility. 😉

Monday, May 13, 2019

Anal Muscle Memory - Trained, Gained & Maintained

I was recently watching an anal sex tutorial on Instagram given by a sex toy company I follow. There was some great misinformation given that I took great offense to hearing.

He said that it is a myth that the anus and vagina get stretched out, for they have muscle memory. Therefore, stretched out holes like the gaping holes you see in some anal sex scenes in porn will fall back into place.

First of all, keep in mind that you are just watching a porn scene. Your penis is not the one actually feeling that hole's firmness or looseness. That is why they are porn "actors". They have to make viewers believe that every mouth, penis, vagina, and butthole you see them play with is the best they have ever encountered, even when it's far from it. With that said, realize that a gaping hole in a porn scene does not always return to being a tight hole. Sometimes the reason it is gaping is because it has been put through enough to be easily made gaping by the slightest entry of any sized penis and/or sex toy. For not every porn actor does kegels and various other exercises to maintain the butthole's tightness, like I have admitted to for years.

This is a point that was not immediately made during the tutorial. And trust me, I waited for it. Way longer than I should have. Not saying that point immediately further enabled viewers to see porn actors as the sex superheroes we should not be holding them up to be. And as a former porn actor myself, that says a lot.

My being offended by this misinformation was heightened by the fact that the person teaching the tutorial... was my former manager. The person who trained me in my working the salesfloor at the sex shop I work at.

All that I write is based on biological facts about the sexual anatomy and psychological facts about the sexual mind that cannot be easily refuted. Even if people think that what I say is just my opinion, proving that it is just my opinion is quite hard to do. Hence why I have yet to be confronted with such an argument.

However, what my former manager said can be easily refuted.

Such as how the anus has muscle memory, so it can get used to being penetrated, then fall back into place. Yes, it can get used to being penetrated. The part that is misinformation in that tutorial is how after penetration, everything falling back into place is not always the case. For while the anus is a muscle, muscle memory for being penetrated has to be trained, gained, and maintained. Therefore, if such steps are not taken, it can be pushed to the point of losing its firmness. Especially when someone tries to imitate the unsafe practices of porn. I say "unsafe" because porn actors don't always train their bodies well. For of the many lose holes I have put my penis into, some of them have been those of porn actors.

In that tutorial, the trait of the anus having muscle memory was also compared to how the vagina also has muscle memory. Again, also true - initially. However, the vagina as well can be pushed to an extreme where it does not return to its original firmness. Like the anus, fisting; a gangbang with no breaks to do a small bit of firmness exercises; not being relaxed during penetration by a penis and/or sex toy; double penetration; and the forced entry of rape, add to that the birthing of a child can all contribute to a loss of firmness. For all of these are stresses to those orifices that require some level of exercises as after-care to maintain that muscle memory. Hence why all well-regarded sex shops sell kegel balls and kegel exercisers. Even electronic stimulation sex toys for internal play can help. Due to the fact that the electronic stimulation will cause the muscles to contract.

I was so offended by seeing this information not being given that I felt my fingers twitching to type a response to the absence of such vital information for great anal play. However, knowing myself, I realized that my response would have been quite verbally explosive in calling out such misinformation. Hence why I took this route in addressing it instead.

Such misinformation is why I have always said my job has not taught me everything. I knew a great deal about sexual anatomy before working there. Especially in regards to anal sex. From reading and personal experience. And the reason I can easily debunk that instructor's claims is more so from personal experience, but also from common sense within the sex toy industry.

Now, if any of what I said was addressed in that tutorial after I tuned out, then as I stated earlier, it should have been said immediately after stating how the anus and vagina have muscle memory. Otherwise, it will lead to the misinformed actions that I am writing this post to prevent.

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Satisfied By SatisfyerMen... On OnlyFans???


Back in July 2018, I wrote the blog article "The Social Destruction of Fan Paysite Pornstars". I still very much stand behind my position in that article, in which I criticized studio-based pornstars for not allowing themselves the right amount of downtime a porn performer needs to have mentally and emotionally healthy sex.



As there are many with so little of a life that they like to start drama, I'm sure such a post has some ready to scream, "HYPOCRITE!"

Well, with my abhorrence for hypocrisy, I can assure you that there is none here in my having an OnlyFans page. Primarily, because of the issue I stated in the post. And since I am no longer doing studio-based porn, the idea of a OnlyFans, JustForFans, and the like is an option I'm free to explore without being a hypocrite.

A lesser way I avoid hypocrisy is because at this point, subscribing to my OnlyFans page is FREE. I feel why should I charge for it when I haven't done so for as long as I have had XTube, RedTube, and Pornhub accounts. Hence why you don't need an OnlyFans account to see the 1st video I've uploaded there. That same video in its 7 minutes and 20 seconds entirety is also on my XTube and RedTube accounts.

Because I like what I do. I like to erotically stimulate people. And although I'm nowhere near rich, knowing you like it at this juncture is all the payment I need.

The reason I made an OnlyFans page is because I thought at some point I would make a video, and post it on there to test myself. And testing myself is what I always do. In this case, testing to see if I was going to be a hypocrite or not. Do I really want to make you pay for porn that is a peek into my personal sex life? An act I have long spoken against.

For my desire to do porn in all of its various art forms has always been to incite a safe space for those questioning their orientation, feel comfortable in their desire to be exhibitionists, and embrace the body they are in, whatever size or color that body comes in, as long as it's healthy. So the porn I do is to flip the bird to the sizes, colors, and shades that the media overhype as sexy despite their healthiness.

With all that said, clicking on the pick below will take you to my 1st OnlyFans upload. Enjoy.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Evolution of My Topping

After losing my virginity in 2002, I was a total bottom for about 2 years. Always knowing that eventually I would become versatile, but for the moment, I was a total bottom, and okay with that. That is why I always tells customers in the sex shop to be patient with themselves for whatever their goal may be.

Once I started topping, I always said that after 2 years of being a total bottom that in my versatility I am a much better bottom than top. No matter what percentage of being a top or bottom I was, even when my versatility reached 50/50, and a good number of playmates praising me as a top, I still felt my skill set made me a much better bottom.

I recently had 2 encounters with which I saw myself becoming more confident in my topping skills. An evolution, if you will. The signs of this evolution might not seem obvious at first, but I will explain how so, and why it is for the better later.


The first incident happened at The Cock. I was behind a curtain, and this guy was sucking me off. Right next to me was a short hottie that I've played with before. As he watched me get my cock sucked, he laid on his back on the bench while playing with his hole. The blowjob was pretty good, but watching that short hottie play with his hole made me rock hard, and needing to be engulfed by not a mouth, but the 98.6 degree and rising warmth of a hungry bottom's ass tunnel.

The past times I topped the short hottie, he assumed the position to be topped doggy style. Being the ass-man that I am, that made it easier to get turned on, start fucking him, and keep fucking him. This time however, seeing him in position to bottom in missionary made me want him right away. My craving wasn't to look at his ass while inside it. No, it was solely about being inside him. Seeing the beauty of his ass was no longer a crutch to get me hard and keep me hard. Just the thought of being inside him in any position was all I needed.

Before I'm called a hypocrite regarding Rule #5 in my rules of blowjob etiquette, I initially was planning to give my dick to the guy giving me a blowjob. But he was sucking me for so long that he seemed like sucking my cock was all he wanted to do. A man that is going to be worth my interest knows to do as I do - stop sucking to check on his playmate to see if he eventually wants that cock made hard by a cocksucker so it can go in his cocksucker's ass, like it should be. This guy never checked in with me for that. He was sucking me for all eternity and I was getting bored by it. As I mentioned before, he sucked it pretty good, but he never offered his asshole. My playmate from my past laying on the bench next to me did offer his asshole.

I went in my pouch and got out some lube to put on my cock. I then slid my cock inside him and started pounding with so much passion. A degree of a passion I've done while topping doggy style, but never in missionary. The more he moaned in pleasure. The more I touched his bare skin not covered by his harness and jockstrap. The more I wrapped my arms around him to go deeper inside him. It all made me not want to stop. But I did stop, so I wouldn't come. Because I have a feeling that if I did come, I would not have stopped. I would have probably shot a raw load in his ass, and kept pumping so I could try and shoot another. Fucking him so long that the lights would come on in the bar because of it nearing closing time.

The other instance happened at a Milk Chocolate NYC party.

I had already topped from behind while standing this sexy guy who was around my height. The entire time I thrusted into the soft cheeks of his ass, as much as I loved looking down to see those cheeks squeeze with my every inward thrust, I wanted him on his back. So I could look in his eyes right below those sexy eyebrows.

Later on in the night, he and a guy that he and I both had bottomed for earlier were sitting on a sofa in the space. Another guy put his legs up and started fucking the hottie. This put the thought back in my head of how much I wanted to look in his eyes while my cock is inside that amazing ass. Then the other guy stopped. So my chance opened up. And when this hottie saw my hard cock eager to get in him again, he opened his ass up along with that chance.

I got on my knees and put my hard cock inside him, with his legs leaning on my shoulders. He lit up the deeper I went in. And when I started pumping into him, he lit up even more. Maybe because my cock was also swelling from feeling his body hair and playing with his big dick. In any case, his being pleased was undeniable for me to see because I was looking right into his eyes.

So how do these 2 occurrences show that I am evolving in my topping skills?

I have long been saying that sex is not just a physical connection, but also a spiritual connection. The latter is one many gay males try to deny. Hence why doggy-style is the most common position at a sex party or backroom. For both connections exist even in a backroom/sex party tryst, and doggy-style, while a great position for a top to view the ass he is pumping into, it also helps a top avoid looking into his sex partner's eyes, which are windows to the soul.

With that said, those 2 encounters with me craving, then being a top in missionary shows me evolving because before then, my spiritual connection that I said was part of sex was obtained in my mind, but less obtained by our sexual position. Therefore, giving no guarantee as to whether or not the spiritual connection that was obtained before the sex was truly maintained during the sex. By me topping in missionary, a more intimate position, I have now evolved to obtaining that spiritual connection by more physical and definite means. A position where my playmate and I look each other in the eyes. Where we can see the beauty of healthy lust, and ask for more. Or see its ugliness and part ways soon after.

Since in addition to being horny, I need to vibe with positive sexual energy from the person(s), I believe the lust we'll have will most definitely be the beauty of healthy lust.

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