Eating Out The Ass of O

Recently, I saw some newer pics of Owen Hawk. He's gotten quite muscular from the guy I met within the 1st couple of years of my coming out. Now, for someone who likes muscles but don't consider them a must in an object of my love or lust, I was quite in awe of the change he's made of himself from the guy I originally saw at Daniel Nardicio's Tigerbeat Underwear Parties at the no-longer-existing Slide till now. Being that in awe, I thought back to an early encounter with him. An encounter that while I was in awe....I was kind of forced to react.

It was around 2005, I believe by this time, I had already done my 1st porn gig, and maybe even my 1st movie. I went to one of Daniel Nardicio's parties. Now, my loyal readers know that at Daniel's parties, guys are often totally naked, and patrons can play with dancers like you see on a CFNM websites like PartyHardcore, just minus the obvious sex. I know this because I not only saw this at the parties, but later on, I became one of those naked go-go boys. When I walked in to the party this night, I didn't even have a drink yet, but since I got there later than I planned, I wanted to check out the scene first. I go to one area and there's Owen Hawk go-go dancing. I can't recall how much he had on besides a pair of boots, but knowing Owen, it probably wasn't much more. And believe me, that is by no means a complaint. Because while I did want to stop at the bar to get something to wet my whistle, I suddenly found no need to just yet, because being the ass-man that I am, even before becoming versatile as I am today, I like every other guy there was salivating over the sight of that famous plump ass.

With Owen facing the crowd, an older guy with a full head of salt & pepper hair went over and tipped Owen. Owen then turned around and poked out his ass. I don't recall the temperature in that place, but I know I'm getting HOT just thinking back to the sight of that ass. Well for some strange reason this older guy didn't seem to take the hint, because when Owen poked out his ass...this guy turned and walked away.

I was stunned to put it mildly. I was so incredibly stunned that I was stammering the words in my thoughts at the sight of what I had just seen. I was saying to myself, "W-W-W-W-Wha-WHAT THE FUCK! Is this guy out of his fuckin' mind?!!!! When Owen Hawk pokes out his ass, you do not turn and walk away! Y-Y-You -----! Damnit, do I have to be the one to show you?!"

I looked around at the rest of the crowd, and they were all standing there like stones. I don't know if they were standing there out of shock, or if they, like that older guy, didn't have the brain and balls to do what should be done at this point. Well, to my own surprise, I mustered up the (still non-liquid) courage, and showed that I was the one with the brain and the balls. I took a dollar out of my pocket, put it down Owen's boot, and then as if we were alone in some seedy motel....

....I buried my face and tongue into Owen Hawk's ass with all those guys watching. My tongue lapped in his hole and on each cheek. And I kissed each cheek as well, so I became an "ass-kisser" in the most literal sense of the word. But I'm not complaining. For I'd be a fool if it didn't make me happier than a pig in slop.

From the beginning of my time in the porn industry, my self-imposed rule was to leave some of that sexual exhbitionist behavior for the camera where the most I would do something like that would be a backroom, or a sex party. But that night obviously sparked something in me. Because that was no backroom, or a sex party, but ever since that night my rule has become, "If I can get away with eating, sucking, and/or fucking in a place....get ready for a show", because with the 1st willing hottie to come along, my mouth is open and I'm dropping trou.

If you think I'm kidding, the next time you see me in such a place (like The Black Party), ask me if I'm armed with my own condoms and lube, and my answer will more than 90% of the time be "YES". Also you might want to look up some blog entries that have taken place this past year. See if these titles ring a bell:

"New Year, New Cocksucker"

"Summer Lust At Sea featuring Owen & Victor"

"Backroom Sleaze On The Seas"

"Live On Stage....FUCKING!"

I told you, if I can get away with eating, sucking, and/or fucking in a place, get ready for a show. Now if I ever get arrested,....I'm blaming Owen ;-)

Wipe With Zach & Cybersocket, Then Fun With Fu

A controversy recently ensued from the magazine Cybersocket naming 40 Amazing Porn Stars, and not naming a single Black porn actor. Zach Sire of TheSword.com wrote a piece in defense of Cybersocket. In response, I wrote a comment...that was never posted.

Victor Hoff of MOC Blog was kind and humane enough to give me a forum to say what I wanted to say in response to Zach Sire's obvious insensitivity on this matter. You can read it by clicking on this link:

http://menofcolor.blogs.com/moc_blog/2010/07/guest-commentary-by-trex-xavier.html

For those who are always wondering why I retired from the porn industry....the fact that I had to write this piece, makes it easier to understand why.
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There are some who are glad to see that I've retired, but don't want to see me happy afterwards. For since my retirement from the gay porn industry, I have had online run-ins with people trying to insult my post-porn endeavors. I guess they would be happy if I was drinking myself into a stooper, getting high on God knows what, and/or crying, "Oh my God, no one will hire me! I guess I should just kill myself!", thereby becoming the next (of many) suicidal pornstars who can't deal with the real world.

Well, I'm HAPPY to disappoint them with the fact that I LOVE my post-porn life.

So it brings me great pleasure to announce that this Sunday, August 1st, the 1st public screening of the movie I did last year, "Fu Manchu's Weapon Of Evil" will be taking place. Here's the info:

FU MANCHU'S WEAPON OF EVIL- Public Screening

at GIZZI'S CAFE

16 West 8th Street, NYC

Sunday, AUGUST 1, at 8pm SHARP!

This is the opening night of a new weekly event at Gizzi's, where every Sunday, New York Filmmakers will be showcased. Come on time and please stay for screenings of all the filmmakers' works. The weekly event will run until 10pm. Filmmakers will be allowed 3 minutes to introduce their films and three minutes Q&A after their screening.

So if you're in New York City this Sunday evening, and you haven't seen the videos on YouTube, OR even better, see them collectively as a single feature, then come down, and get a great start to your evening, and please....be sure to say "Hello".

Some Written About Guys....Alas Seen

It might not surprise you that mostly because of the size of New York City, I don't run into, or even see in a crowd, the guys from bad hook-ups or relationships that I've written about. In fact, I practically never see them. Well over these past 3 weeks, there have been 3 sightings.

One of them, there is no need to get into, because I never mentioned him by name, and since he was before my porn days, therefore blogging days as well, he most likely doesn't even know that he's been written about. The other 2 guys however, know very well that you readers know about them, and what they've done to provoke the writer-in-me's need to vent.

Most recently was Jason White from the blog post, "Portrait Of A Stereotypical Escort". I saw him this past Friday night at Splash. I'm not sure if he saw me, but I actually think he did.

Why am I not surprised to report that he was with a couple of guys - one, a good deal older than him or me (so he was most likely a client). And I am also not surprised to report, that even while on the dancefloor, he kept looking at his cell phone. Now, don't think that I was spying on him. I saw this because while dancing with someone, I discovered that he was in line of my peripheral vision. For in the dim light of the club, a light going off is going to cause you to look. And when I looked, I repeatedly saw that the light was coming from a cell phone...Jason White's cell phone. Every escort I've ever met seems to never get off the clock. It's a sad life.

This was actually the 1st time that I had ever seen Jason White in person. And I am not being catty by saying this, but if the camera really does add 10 pounds, then that's why I thought his slim physique was hot. Because in pictures he appeared just slim. Of course those pics were from movie photo shoots a year or two old. Now however, what I saw in real-life for the 1st time was still slim, but borderline skinny.

Now, I saved the best for last....Danny. I already wrote about seeing Danny again and I rehashed some of our history.

When I decided to write "Danny's Leaving, So I'll Keep Feeling", I knew that once posted that I was going to text Danny about the post being online. It turned out that there became no need to text Danny, because within the week of writing the entry, I discovered that me and Danny have a mutual Facebook friend. It actually turned out being that we had 9 in common. But on this one's page in particular, Danny wrote a comment to his Facebook update. So once the post was online, I sent Danny an email via Facebook telling him about it.

Not too long after posting, I got a phone call from Danny. I let the phone call go to voicemail, because as far as I was concerned, once I wrote that post, all that needed to be said was said. I vented, I was done, so now I'm moving on. So he left a voicemail, and I listened to it, simply and calmly ask me to call him. I decided that we were not going to fight about this. But I made a mental note of his calmness in that voicemail. I thought back to how in the past, when he left me a voicemail that my calling him back was going to lead to an argument, I always knew it beforehand. However, even after hearing that calmness, my Aries stubbornness didn't want to be bothered. What might be perceived as a problem is that Danny is also an Aries, so instead of waiting for my reply, his Aries impatience made him send me an email through Facebook. In the email, Danny apologized for the way he treated me. And told me that I could either remember him the way he was then, or learn of the better person he is now. 

I decided to bite the bullet, and return his call. Not because of his apology, because I've heard that before. But there was one sentence that he's never said before. He said, "I'm a better person now." So to read that PLUS an apology made me want to hear what he had to say. Because to add that sentence to his apology said to me that he did take a look at himself. You know like they say, "Don't talk about it, be about it". As many times as I've heard an apology from him before, I heard enough talk, so I needed something that said that he was really about improving himself.

While talking to him on the phone, I brought up how he said I could remember who he was then, or the person he is now. I told him, that I tried that before once when I saw him on the street last year, and we exchanged numbers. I texted to keep the communication going, but once again, I never heard much from his end. So I was trying to get to know how he may have changed. But since he was moving to Atlanta, now I wasn't going to know. And that's when he dropped the news update....he wasn't moving to Atlanta after all.

We talked on the phone for almost an hour and a half. In fact, I wound up late for the date I had with the guy I was seeing at the time. And considering how that turned out, it may have been a good thing. My being late might have been a way to tell me not to go on that date. But that's another story.

Since then, me and Danny have become friends on Facebook, and have chatted a few times. I will admit that I see that he is in that place of growth. After all, he is 29, so it makes sense that he's coming to that point in maturity where much of what you thought was important isn't really that important after all. So I guess in his own way, he's catching up to me as I'm still enjoying how quickly I, like Wanda Sykes will say, "I don't give a fuck!"

I went out of sequence telling of these guys from my pasts by telling the story of seeing Danny last, because I felt it was better to end this tale with the glimmer of hope that someone I thought I was a rotten apple, had resurrected himself to becoming fresh and new. And I'm sure many of you can relate as to how signs of bettering from someone from our past doesn't happen very often. So now that we're friends online, time will tell how good of friends me and Danny will become in the real world.

Write That Down #22

While the best description of my sexual orientation is that I'm a lot more gay than straight, for a single-word description, I identify myself as "bisexual".

I have made no secret of this to my readers since I started blogging over 4½ years ago, or in conversations with friends, associates, fuck-buddies, tricks, even casual conversation partners. While I allow everyone in these groups to have their belief as to whether bisexuality is real, or just someone who is confused, there is one person who does not get such an allowance of "believe it or not". That person is my boyfriend or life-partner/husband. He must believe bisexuality is real, because...

....I AM A BISEXUAL, AND I AM REAL.

Of course before becoming my boyfriend, then life partner/husband (depending on your state and/or country), there is dating. So it's with dating in mind that I have written out this rule as my next "Write That Down" quote that I think all bisexuals, regardless of gender, should set as a standard for themselves. It reads:

As a bisexual, in order to date me, you can't say you don't believe in bisexuality or call it a "myth". Because then you are making statements that kill a relationship before it even starts...you are calling my sexual existence a "myth", and saying that you don't believe in my self-awareness.