Thursday, July 20, 2017

Sex Party of Appreciation Or Fetishizing

  • At a naked party I recently attended, the only other black partygoer there besides myself quietly asked me, "Why doesn't anybody like me?"

  • As much as I didn't want to say it there, as I get older, I no longer care in waiting to tell a truth needed to be told. So I felt if anyone hears me, and has a problem with what I say, then they would expose themselves as either a guilty party, and/or an enabler of the problem.

So I unleashed the truth by telling him specifically what that problem is...Sexual racism, and how it is very much alive in 2017. Even though we have a great host that is welcoming to all colors and ethnicities, a number of guests are not that open-minded. Their actions show that if you don't fit into the color spectrum of white to light, then you get a polite "Hello" (if that), and nothing more.

In the midst of my saying this and more to further explain my point, I think that in my passion, my voice carried. For I heard one guy say to another in the next room, "It's just sex, You're overthinking it!"

Maybe it wasn't them kiki'ing over what I was saying. However, since that response is a very common racially insensitive white response to when I address the issue of sexual racism, it's only natural for me to feel it was very likely directed at what I was saying.

  • So in my suspicion and needed venting, I posted this on Facebook, then made a screenshot of it, to post on Instagram the next day:

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because the only way one can get away from it is if they're such a coward about the reality of racism that they attend an all-black party. And since I love and honor the diversity that comes from being born and raised in the USA, and a native New Yorker, I'll be damned if I'm going to let some racist trash heaps chase me out of a place. Especially when some there do appreciate me, furthering the intent of the welcoming inclusive host.

As long as that reply is, because it was Instagram, I didn't reply with as much voracity as I will now by adding:
Being black and allowing myself to be exiled to attend an all-black party makes me just as racist and cowardly as the whites whose actions exiled me there. Furthermore, what exactly is an indicator for Black males to "go where you will be appreciated"? Is that attending a party catering to "bruthas and their admirers"?

If so, then that's advising that I attend a party enabling more racism. For attending such a sex party, says I'm low enough on self-esteem to allow myself to be made a fetish of. Because the non-blacks "admirers" attending such parties are there for that purpose, even if they're too brainwashed with white/light entitlement to realize it. Plus, enough porn companies pull that crap, leading a plethora of ignorant whites and non-blacks to follow it. And for that reason, instead of sticking my dick in their ass to give them some "big black cock",  sticking my fist through their face and beyond as punishment for their ignorance sounds a lot more inviting. So to avoid going to that dark place, I don't attend events marketed in that fashion. 

After my initial response, I then got this question asked:

ciscofashionnycso why are you focused on the negative and not highlighting those who do appreciate you / instead of giving so much light to those with dark hearts ⁉️

My reply:

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because those with dark hearts do so because no one calls them on it.

The racism of gay media endorses and enables their dark hearts. And that damage will never get undone unless someone with the means to do so holds them accountable. Social media gives us all a means to do that. Plus, their behavior is rooted in narcissism. So they want attention "all about them"? Then they should have been careful with what their actions wished for.

Which brings to how those who appreciate me not being narcissist. So they don't need the public praise. And I have offered it to them. But many I talk to about giving it to them don't want it, even anonymously. It's because they know who they are, and the good they have within. And you can't help but respect them for that in the way they see fit.


Again, I let some explanations slide in my response. First, with hindsight being 20/20, I realize that answering my fellow black partygoer there with the risk of being overheard was me subconsciously giving the guilty their overdue calling out for their behavior. And it seemed to spark a reaction that paves the way for a discussion to many black males are guilted by whites into not having, with themselves or with whites. So at first I would have apologized for answering the question at that time. But now I see it was the right thing to do.

Second further explanation, if the person commenting kept in mind what he also sees of me on Facebook, he would have easily seen how I do give praise to those who appreciate me and my brown skin. Blog posts as recent as "When Pornstars & Their Lookalikes Fuck Alike" is a perfect example of that.

My playmate from that encounter was a white male who resembled white straight porn actor Mark Ashley. The reason I didn't highlight his appreciation of my darker skin to his pale skin was because it was just that - appreciation. Not fetishizing. Giving me such a level of peace that in telling the story, instead of focusing on the presumed absence of racism (sexual or otherwise), I was able to focus on the sexual bliss. For our attraction to each other was not me seeing him as an attractive white man, or (as far as I knew) him seeing me as an attractive black man. We saw each other simply as 2 attractive men. With skin color not being a necessary part of that beauty. When skin color is not part of the discussion, it makes for a beautiful tryst. And that's how it should be.

This is not to say that I'm against praising a man's skin color. Because I have been blessed with the gift of sight to see your skin color, and I maintain the wisdom to find both light and dark skin worth admiring. But sexual racism being what it is, we have to be mindful to not tell someone too much about that aspect of their beauty we are admiring. For too early of a reveal can lead to us giving ourselves to a racial fetishist, then calling them our lover, then life-partner. So one should let the overt admiration of their skin color be earned over time.

With all that said, what keeps me coming back to that party? It's who I mentioned before - the inclusive host. While a number of the white/light guys there will stick to their racist white gay media-endorsed mantra of "it's a preference", totally oblivious to their own racism, the obvious welcoming of the host is what keeps me coming back. For that welcome is true appreciation.

Now, if you go to a party, and the host is fake, and obviously unwelcoming, then that is when the beauty of your skin color is not appreciated. And that is when your patronage should cease. But as long as the host is doing their part, keep coming back.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

When Pornstars & Their Lookalikes Fuck Alike

The night after Folsom Street East, I went to The Cock to unwind. I ran into a guy I met before. The last time we spoke however, a mutual acquaintance took up so much of his time that I told him, "Go fuck yourself!"

I thought that would make me memorable enough for him to never speak to me again. Well, for whatever reason, he still spoke to me. I figured saying the uniqueness of my name would definitely trigger the memory. Yet, it did not. Or did it? Considering that latter possibility is why I took his continuing the conversation without looking for an exit as him trying to have a do-over. An act I could easily admire since most gay males' narcissism won't even let them bother.

When I first met him, I thought he looked like some celebrity, but couldn't for the life of me figure out who. His look that night had changed since then, and at first, it still wasn't clear as to who he resembled. But once we started talking, then making out, it started going to the back of my mind. And the more he kissed me, the further back that thought got pushed.

We got back to his place, and soon started stripping. His tall, slim frame in black underwear with a gold waistband. And a full reveal of the moderate amount of hair on his chest and legs that I had been stroking while making out with him when he was in his tank top and shorts. Then soon after he bent over to pull down those undies to finally give me a view of the pièce de résistance - his cock.

I immediately dropped to my knees to give him a blowjob to reward him for revealing his cock. Not to toot my own horn, but he got hard pretty fast from my oral prowess. Hard and throbbing enough that we both knew that if I sucked him for much longer, he would have come before his dick got inside my ass. So he quickly picked me up off my knees and laid me on my back vertically on the bed. His tall, slim frame towering over me. We kissed passionately, then broke apart to look at each other. While staring into my eyes, he spit in his hand and tried shoving his spit-lubed cock inside me. Seeing this, I also used a spit lube on my hole.

Now, after all my talk about my tight hole needing lots of lube, using a spit-lube on my ass, and a guy getting inside might sound impossible. However, when I'm really into a guy, and the guy is not necessarily thick as a beer can, my hole will relax enough to let a guy in with only a spit-lube.

He started pounding my ass in missionary. Pounding harder and harder. I had no idea where to put my hands but I knew I desperately wanted them on him. As usual, I could care less about stroking my dick. He then moved further on the bed, repositioning himself horizontally. He told me to ride his cock, and I happily obliged.

While I rode his cock, he told me to do something I had never done before. He told me to choke him. So while I rode and grinded on his cock as it pleased my ass, I put my hands at the based on his neck and squeezed.

His request tp choke him made a face begin to form in my mind to answer my question of who he resembled. But it really came into full form, when we changed position again with him banging me from behind, and lightly pulling the sides of my mouth.

The face was that of straight male pornstar, Mark Ashley, who I have long been a fan of. Once I realized my playmate resembled him, I realized it was because Mark Ashely has passionately fucked his female scene partners doing very similar actions. So even though my playmate was a good deal slimmer and a tad more hairy, this guy's resemblance to Mark Ashley in his younger days just basically gives more life to my curiosity as to whether or not people who look alike fuck alike.

He kept pounding away until he came. I loved feeling his cock throb from shooting jizz inside me. As we laid there spooning in the afterglow, the last thing he said to me before we closed our eyes for the moment was, "Don't be surprised if you wake up with my dick in your ass."

I replied, "You won't get any argument out of me." Then we drifted off to sleep.

A couple of hours later, my 6th sense woke up because it felt someone's attention extremely focused on me. It, as it should have been, was my playmate, who I was still in a spooning position with. My 6th sense was alerting me to what was about to happen next, which was his hard cock rubbing against the crack of my ass because he was about to go in for Round 2. So had it not been for my 6th sense waking me up, my playmate would have been able to make good on his promise of having me wake up with his dick in my ass. So while it's nice to know my 6th sense is on point, this is an instance when I had wished it would taken a night off.


Most hookups that come from us leaving together and going to my place or his result in one fuck after we walk in the door, and another to please our morning wood. This time however, it resulted in 3 fucks. One when we walked in the door, another after we randomly woke up in the middle of the night, then the last about 2 hours after sunrise.

This third time, even with the sleeps in between, my body so was charged and sensitive from the 2 previous fucks that each of his thrusts into me was another stroke against my prostate that teased my cock to feel I was about to ejaculate. He thrusted inward, the cum felt on the way out. And when he thrusted outward, the jizz also fell back. That's what I felt the entire time he had me on my stomach. And it was in this position in which he came this go around. He moaned as his cock throbbed inside me to squeeze out another load of cum, while I already clasping his hands, pulled him even tighter around me. For while I didn't ejaculate, when he orgasmed physically, I orgasmed mentally. Once again from the pleasure of feeling what my body did to his body.

After fucking raw, I don't do the pushing out of cum like you see some do in porn videos. I stated before that my tight hole holds jizz a good long while. Case in point, I left my playmate's place around 9 a.m., but it wasn't until after noon that my ass felt a tingle to let go of the 3 loads of jizz he put inside me. I'm sure it more so depends on how far his cum shot inside me, but you must admit that if men had ovaries, his cum load would have been in me so long that I would outdo Octo-mom.

We basked in the afterglow of Round 3 for a few minutes before I decided to leave so I wouldn't overstay my welcome. Even though there was a part of me that felt he could have kept me in bed and fucked me a few times more. Well, as far as time was concerned, he had the day off, but I did have a closing shift that afternoon.

I don't know about you, but for me, my work day that day was not an easy one. For I hate going to work after having great sex because I want to bask in the afterglow, even if it's by myself. And that definitely was some great sex.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Who Is My Message of Resistance at The Pleasure Chest For?


NYC's Gay Pride was yesterday. I spent the day working with The Pleasure Chest as part of their street team. Handing out paint paddles, fans, condoms, and buttons.

Before that, we wrote names of LGBTQ inspirations and messages of resistance. I chose to do a message of resistance, much like the one I did on the window of the Upper East Side location.

I'm sure most names of inspirations and messages of resistance will at the most cause a fellow member of the LGBT community to in some way scream "YAAASSS!", with little chance of an anti-LGBT pedestrian even looking up to see the message to put them on notice. And such a more out gay presence near the West Village location, I chose to write the message:

RESIST RACISM, AGEISM, SEXISM

It is a message that might not only make a fellow member of the LGBT community scream the aforementioned, but more so stop them in their tracks and make them see a mirror. A mirror they might not want to look in.

For that look at themselves might show how supporters of this country's present shit-show of a presidential administration are not the only ones exhibiting behaviors that need messages of resistance. Sad to say, but members of the LGBT community itself are also culprits.

If you don't think so, then please read on...

RACISM Almost every LGBT hero and/or sex symbol we are bombarded with is white. Or they are a light person of color that gay media uses to claim they are not racist when in fact they are. Even though there are plenty of medium to dark people of color who have accomplished just as great (or better) a feat, or been just as great (or even stronger) a voice.

As I have stated in the past, Queerty and  Instinct is such a perpetrator of this, and has gotten so cowardly in facing those who follow my lead in calling them out on it, they both have blocked me from commenting.

Also, most recently, the racial insensitivity to Philadelphia's unveiling of a gay flag including the colors of black and brown makes those white and assimilating people of color who claim to be anti-Trump to be the biggest of hypocrites. Ones whose souls are at a level of disgust that there are no words to describe how deplorable they make their existence. This is not to say that I didn't have my own feelings about it, but it was nothing compared to the racial insensitivity and selling out that I saw online from our own.

AGEISM The ageism in the LGBT community is also deplorable. For why is it immediately assumed when I walk into a gay bar, that because I'm over 30 that I'm to buy a 20-something a drink? Why do porn companies like Icon Male and Naked Sword prey upon the maladjustment of many gay males' daddy issues by sexualizing them, being one of those inciting those 20-somethings to make a fetish out of me for my age. Porn has done that to me enough for the color of my skin. I don't need porn doing it to me because of my age as well.

Also, why is it that when a model call is put out that as good as I and others 30+ have maintained themselves, we are denied the gig simply because of our age. Yet some of us have the looks, stamina, and discipline to get the job done better than the white/light 20-somethings hired?

Case in point with an example that compounds both ageism and racism.- There have been many nights when I've go-go danced in my 40s, and didn't stop dancing for 1.5 - 2 hours after I started. Meanwhile, many of these young white go-go boys today act so entitled that they get on the dancing box for 5 - 10 minutes, and then they disappear, and are hired again.

SEXISM The sexism in the LGBT community is also out of control. For there is no excuse for a female to be questioned about her presence in a male-dominated gay bar when she is with her gay best friend. Or when she is being so civilized, you wouldn't notice her unless you stood next to her, and/or she politely said "Hello". Yet, there are many gay males who get their knickers in a ball-crunching twist when she is civilized.  I know many females come in with their overcompensating flamboyant male friends. But let the female show themselves before judging them. The same way you don't want to be judge based on the behavior of a few bad seed gay males in our community.

This sexism also translates into transphobia. The kind of transphobia that makes transgender people not tell you they are transgender until after the fact. Such as the instance I spoke of in my Thotyssey post, "X-Ray Sex: The Transgender Surprise".


So you see, the message of resistance is not only necessary to be addressed to the racism, sexual assaults, misogyny, and narcissism that presently runs our country. It also needs to be addressed to ourselves. And it's a reason why there are gays considering strapping themselves into some form of a "Conversion Therapy Horror Chair".

Friday, June 23, 2017

I'm Mr. Handsome NYC 2017

This past Wednesday, I took part in a contest held at the NYC club, Paddles. It was to crown a winner to be named Mr. Handsome NYC 2017.

If you're any degree a loyal follower of this blog, then you're probably aware that Handsome NYC is the name of a sex party held Wednesday nights at Paddles, and at Rainbow Playground on Sundays. And yes, this contest is from the same host.

A contest that I won.

Yes, I am the reigning Mr. Handsome NYC 2017.

The reason I kept silent about my participation in the contest is because:
1) I didn't want to jinx my chances, and;
2) unlike contests like Mr. Nude York, in order to win, I wasn't reliant upon fan attendance to counter the white/light favoring and black fetishizing racism in much of NYC's gay nightlife patronage. The Mr. Handsome NYC Contest was chosen by a panel of judges. Some of whom judged the Mr. Paddles contests that I've entered and lost in the past. Losses, like mine to Mr. Paddles 2016 Mickey Carpathio, which I know I deserved.

Well this time, I am at last a contest winner. And being a winner in most pageant-like contests, there is a responsibility to be carried out by me. Such is the case with this contest.

For during my reign as Mr. Handsome NYC 2017, I have the responsibility of hosting at least one fundraising party at Paddles.

So yes, this will be my chance to as I have always considered, to host a sex party. In my mind, I am already choosing music to play, and video clips to show during the party. All I need now is a charity or organization to benefit, and then to set a date.

So THANKS to the producer, MC, judges, contestants, and all of my supporters, past, present, and future.
And once I choose this fundraiser's charity and set a date, if you're in NYC, I do hope to see you there. Fucking for a fuckin' good cause!

Let me close with this Facebook post of news of my post-win celebrating.


This story should not come as a surprise. After all, I was at Paddles.
A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier) on

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